Tagged Tables

Things On My Grocery List

Don't you Wanna go Apeshit?

Howdy, Farmhands!

    Have you ever heard of "Free Will?"

    I make these d20 lists while I'm bored at work, believe it or not. They're a quick and simple way to pass the time, and they technically double as prep for future blog posts, though I try to space out the release of them to be between Actual Blogs so I don't make a name for myself as "A Much Shittier Ktrey". It was during one of these sessions that it occurred to me how one could make a list out of anything and, with a proper trigger, be bound to the result on that list. The sudden euphoria of witnessing all creation unfold before me hit like a truck and I immediately made the choice to just... blog out my grocery list one day. Like no joke, this is what was on my phone to pick up during my next Aldi run. And now it's yours.

    When should you roll on this list? Honestly, whenever you don't have another list handy. Forget to come up with a list of "Stuff the Bandits Want?" Roll on this list. Neglected to put loot in tonight's dungeon and can't find your treasure tables? Roll on this list. Does the new NPC need a catchphrase to endear themselves to the party? Don't look now but I think there's a list right below this paragraph for that exact purpose. You can thank me later.

    Until Next Time,

        - Farmer Gadda 

Things On My Grocery List
1 Tinfoil
2 Eggs
3 Almond Milk
4 Frozen Pizzas (Stuffed Crust)
5 Peanut Butter
6 Water Softener Salt
7 French Vanilla Coffee Creaqmer
8 Cranberry Ginger Ale
9 Kitchen Sponges
10 Memory Gel Shoe Inserts
11 RGB TV Cable
12 Christmas Tree Scent-sicles
13 USB Charging Cable
14 Yeast Rolls
15 Korean Corn Dogs
16 Seasonal Candle (NOT Apple)
17 Dry Cat Food
18 Sports Drink (Blue Flavor)
19 Ground Turkey
20 Broccoli

This post and others like it are made possible by members of my Patreon, where you can see Game WIPs and Previews of future blogposts a week early! Thank you in particular to Serket for your continued support!

How Tricked Out Is this Ride?

Oh boys~

This post and others like it are made possible by members of my Patreon, where you can see Game WIPs and Previews of future blogposts a week early! Thank you in particular to Nebula Bash for your continued support!

Howdy, Farmhands!

    Among the many ways I "failed" at traditional masculinity as a child, (as much as any one can do so, mind. Gender roles are bullshit!) I never became A Car Guy. While many a youth saw the wheels and hubcaps and fenders and was overcome with a desire to get behind the wheel, I couldn't really care less. I consider motor vehicles to be not unlike horses. Mysterious creatures I am to respect from afar, but never understand. The primary difference is that a car isn't born with hatred in it's heart.

    Vehicles feature in TTRPGS sometimes. That's the segue I'm going with here, just accept it. Vehicles feature in TTRPGS sometimes, so here's a D20 list to roll on whenever one appears to make it distinctive. Maybe your players will think the extra pizazz makes it desireable enough to purchase or heist? Maybe the vehicle isn't even one you'd expect it to be! Your Packmule is a vehicle of sorts! Those Eagles Gandalf called were technically "A Ride." Imagine if they'd rolled up with (rolls on the below table) A Bike Rack. One does not simply Mountain Bike their way into Mordor. 

Until Next Time,

    Farmer Gadda

How Tricked Out is this Ride?
1 The Horn plays 'La Cucaracha'
2 Pair of Fuzzy Dice hangs from somewhere
3 There's a Luau Bobble Head
4 A Wizard has been Spray Painted on the side
5 Carpeted (Shag)
6 Bull Horns as a Hood Ornament
7 It's a Convertible
8 There's a DVD Player in the Backseat
9 Lifted Suspension (for compensating)
10 A Bike Rack
11 Political Bumper Sticker
12 Theme park Annual Pass Magnet
13 Rainbow Underglow
14 Ultra Violet High Beam Head Lights
15 Comedically Large Race Car Spoiler
16 Lambo Doors (they open UP)
17 Chromed Rims
18 Tinted Windows
19 A button labeled "NITRO."
20 Truck Nuts