Farmer Gadda's TTRPG Hayloft

Sonic SATAMdaption - Ep. PILOT & 1

2028-03-07T00:00:00Z

He's Way Past Cool

THE PREAMBLE

Being an aspiring micro-celebrity on the internet is fun. The majority of the effort needed to accrue an adoring public involves making oneself accessible to them, and they to your hilarious skeets on bluesky. My longest running endeavor to curate a space for all Gadda, all the time is my beloved Discord Server, which has never created problems or been a distraction for my writing process. Adam Seats, who you may very well know, pinged me in broad daylight to pitch an idea they'd had. We would watch the 1992 DiC cartoon, "Sonic The Hedgehog", and attempt to adapt concepts and elements of them into ttrpg blogposts and release them as a sort of cross-marketing technique to trick our audiences into giving attention to the other. Struck by the sheer gall needed to stop praising me with the rest of the masses, I instantly accepted. Not only would this be a fantastic project to share with a blogging peer I admire, it would give me a chance to rewatch what is still considered by many fans to be the high point of Sonic's animated outings. The rest of you masses can go on praising me, though. The Gall thing won't work on me again.

"Sonic the Hedgehog," known by it's more googleable nickname "Sonic SATAM" (as it aired on Saturday mornings, you see), was one of two animated series produced by the same Canadian company in the same year as it's sister series - "The Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog". AoSTH focused more on Looney Tunes-style slapstick and comedy over SATAM's darker and plot driven action. SATAM featured the titular Hedgehog as a member of a guerilla rebellion of other woodland critters, fighting against the oppressive regime of Dr. Robotnik, who threatens their existence with urban development, pollution, and most horrifying of all, the complete stripping of their minds and bodily autonomy via a process called "Roboticization" which replaces organic material with robotics, converting victims into mindless slaves. Jim Cummings voiced the Doctor, and they added a sick reverb effect that makes him sound all encompassing and inescapable. One of the best to ever do it, ol' Jim.

Sonic was in a bizarre place in the early 90's. Sega capitalized on the success of the video games and merchandise sales by essentially offering the liscence up to anyone willing to pay, and were relatively hands off in the adaptation process. The video games having a fairly loose setting, along with a lack of oversight of it's American branch's shenanigans lead to vastly different interpretations of the character showing up across media. SATAM and AoSTH being on tv screens concurrently, despite the different tones, is the best example of the extremes the Hog could go to.

It is in this fertile ground that we shall dig deep for nuggets of inspiration to apply to our imaginary elfgames in a series of blogposts that will continue until we run out of material or otherwise get bored. There's only 26 episodes in this thing, but who knows? Maybe I'll have the chance to subject Adam to Sonic Underground. (Nobody tell them it's a musical)

THE ACTUAL BLOGPOST -

We chose to watch the first two episodes for this first duo of blogposts, the Pilot, "Heads or Tails", and the actual first episode to air, "Sonic Boom."

S1 EP13: HEADS OR TAILS

For some reason, despite all the elements of setting being established here, this episode wouldn't air on television until the very end of Season 1, thus being officially labeled as Episode 13. Thankfully, the playlist we're working off of places the episodes in -intended- order, as opposed to chronological release. A couple of other episodes have similar issues, but it's been 30 years, so they're well documented.

The key bits are as follows

- Dr. Robotnik has essentially won, taking over the world(?) and building a massive city called "Robotropolis." He converts people into robots with the previously mentioned "Roboticization" process. He even did it to Sonic's pet dog, Muttsky, which is wild.

- He REALLY hates Sonic the Hedgehog, to the point of his illogical fixation on killing him distracting him from anything else. The episode doesn't do anything to explain why this is the status quo, just that it is.

- Sonic and his crew live in the Great Forest, a massive wood that is apparently too large and dense for Robotnik to properly search to find them. They live in a location called "Knothole", which is hidden by a log slide in a specific tree. The tv show has this location in the open air, but other media places it as being a system of underground tunnels. I prefer that, but what can ya do.

- Sonic alone can make use of a power-up called a "Power Ring," which emerges from a small pond within Knothole. I believe the show better establishes this later, but I remember the rings being limited to 1 a day, making them a consistant but scarce resource.

The actual plot of the episode is light, acting as an excuse to highlight the setting details more than anything. There is a chemical weapon Robotnik intends to deploy to kill off the trees of the Great Forest, exposing Knothole. The Freedom Fighters anti-air weaponry (A bunch of wooden catapaults) keep breaking, leaving them open to attack. Sonic makes a supply trip to Robotropolis for the scrap resources required to fix them, and learns of the Chemical attack. He is discovered, and must use the Power Ring to escape. There is a showdown where the weapon, escorted by a bunch of airborne Buzz Bombers, approaches the forest, and Sonic uses himself as bait to divert their course into range of the Catapaults.

S1 EP1: SONIC BOOM

The first adventure proper, and surprisingly dark when compared to the more slapstick vibe of the pilot! The episode begins during a stealth mission into Robotropolis to sabotage the launch of a fleet of aircraft, though what makes them important enough to take preemptive measures is never explained. While working within the computer system, Princess Sally discovers coordinates labeled with the childhood nickname her father, the missing King Acorn, used to call her. Attempting to learn more distracts Sally from the mission, which ends with the team being discovered and splitting up to reconvene elsewhere. During the escape, a member of the team realizes how close they are to being captured and chooses to use himself as bait to lure their pursuers away from the Princess. There is a scene where Jim Cummings has an absolutely banger line, hissing with menace that Robotnik has "-machines of all kinds. Marvelous machines; they can do things you would not believe." heavily implying an off-screen torture session.

Jesus Christ.

Sonic is presented with two scenarios and must prioritize. Princess Sally is adamant on following the coordinates to a known dangerous location called "The Dark Swamp" in search of her father, but Cat is missing and presumed captured by Robotnik. Sonic chooses to rescue Cat, and then join Sally in the swamp. He finds Cat in a prisoner cell, but is warned before he can bust him out - Robotnik is aware of where Sally is going, and intends to ambush her at her destination. Unable to save Cat in that moment, he chases after Sally.

There's some generic adventuring in the swamp and the abandoned prison structure within it, the bridge breaks with them on it, there's a robot guard that attacks them, standard fare for this kind of tv show. What they gain is evidence that the King was once held there, and a computer system that contains a display of the full blueprints of Robotropolis and it's surrounding geographic features, including cave systems that neither the Freedom Fighters or Robotnik were aware of. Using this information, and that day's power ring to destroy the robot guard, the team manage to return to the hangar with the aircraft, complete their original mission, and escape. Sonic returns to the prison cell to find it empty, and it is implied that Cat has been roboticized. The character will never return.

There is a final good feelings moment, as the aircraft are launched and subsequently exploded, with Sonic using one of Robotnik's surveilance drones to directly call out that the action was revenge for Cat. Who is, again, functionally dead offscreen after presumably being tortured.

Jesus fucking Christ.

THE DIGESTION

After watching both episodes, Adam and I conferred via discord, sharing our thoughts about the episodes and throwing ideas for what our respective blog posts would be about. Adam suggested a number of systems that would be successful at emulating the sort of adventures shown here, however, my love and attention always circles back around to Elfgames and the uses thereof.

The entire time I spent watching these episodes, especially during episode 2, I couldn't help but think of Dodecahedron's Old School Rebellion, a series of blog posts I like so much, I've printed them out into booklets so I can read them again and again. The premise of these posts is a theoretical reframing of elfgame/osr procedures to be about revolutionary forces aimed at liberating peoples and resources that have been consumed by an encompassing empire instead of more traditional elfgame experience of value extraction from holes in the ground and the people living in them. It's a good trilogy of theory posts, with links to others who have investigated similar avenues of elfgame design, and I highly recommend them.

Among the many great ideas within is the concept of an exposure clock- where actions taken raises the amount of attention the group gains from the powers that be, and measures how much longer they can act in one location before the weight of the tyrrany is pressed down on them, forcing them to flee and leaving the locals to suffer the empire's wrath. Balancing the need to do good without attracting too much attention is a fascinating element of Rowan's theorycrafting. That's not quite what we see in Sonic Satam, as the fuzzballs are region locked to one location for a couple reasons.

FINALLY, THE POINT

There is a familiar and sound game cycle in most OSR campaigns. The Dungeon/Wilderness/Underground is a dangerous location you delve into, risking going deeper while your resources hold out, and returning to The Town/The Surface/Society and thus, safety, with your goods to prepare for another delve. The assured protection of being In Town is key to the gameloop, as resources can be expended in the Dungeon without consequence on the way back. I don't want to argue with this, but as with the inverse of power dynamics in Old School Rebellion, so too does the concept of safe zones shift.

The Power Ring is a recurring resource, but a limited one, that acts as the final safety net before the characters are completely on their own. It's use is functionally a win button, but it's limited application (only Sonic can truly make use of them) and the window of their use is narrow (the invincibility and speed boost seems to only last moments, after which it is expended). Not only that, but it's only produced in one physical location, which cannot be moved, meaning that losing it would effectively mean losing the war. This is a seperate but equal concern to the potential loss of Princess Sally, who the show establishes as being the figurehead and primary tactician of the surviving populace. As with the risk of losing their tactician, Sonic is himself a limited resource. No other member, except maybe Bunnie Rabbot, who we'll see more of later, is capable of superhuman feats. His speed, and Robotniks fixation on him, are quite literally the strongest tool the rebellion has, and deciding where and when to deploy him is crucial to their continued survival. In Episode 1, Sonic being torn between two important missions requires him to prioritize the safety of the Princess over the life of another Freedom Fighter, a trade that Cat understood and willingly took earlier in the episode. Sonic could have used the Power Ring to blast Cat away, but we, the audience, are aware that without it, Sally would have presumably been killed by the Robot guard later that same day.

The idea that not only can your resources be expended inefficiently, but the very ability to acquire those resources in the future being something you risk every time you step away from it, is a fascinating one. Do you, the heroes with magic and shit, leave the city defenseless while you go out for whatever reason? Can you afford not to? In the Pilot, Sonic leaves Knothole for materials, leaving it essentially undefended, because not having the air protection the catapaults provide would make defending it in the future even harder. Can the safety of Knothole be assured without the tactical mind and morale Princess Sally brings to the table? Is another Freedom Fighter's life worth sacrificing to preserve her use to the cause? An attack aimed at deforesting the only bastion they have is on par with total destruction, while torture and death of an individual the heroes know by name and presumably have history with is a cost that the individual himself was willing to pay. How many of these choices can they make while still believing themselves to be morally just?

And for our purposes, what on earth would all of this do to an Elfgame campaign? Placing an irreplacable resource within a region who's safety is in question would completely upend the traditional game loop in a way that could be fantastic or horrible depending on how prepared the table is to deal with these questions. Going forward, I want to keep this in mind as we watch and adapt more episodes of this silly cartoon show for children.

Wait, shit, there was something else I was supposed to do here wasn't there. What was it... OH FUCK RIGHT, ADAM MADE A POST ABOUT THIS TOO HOLY SHIT GO READ THAT NEXT

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

What's Gadda Up To? - Spring 2026

2026-04-03T00:00:00Z

This, mostly.

Howdy, Farmhands!

This January, I posted a year-in-review to cover what I'd accomplished (or neglected) in 2025, as well as posited what I'd learned. The big lesson was that blogging every single week wasn't for me, that I should focus on making good posts over frequent posts, something I immediately took to heart. You'll notice I didn't post but once between January 9th and last Friday.

The break was good for me, all told, and gave me the chance to get some IRL needs in order as well as focus on some other personal projects. I returned to streaming, restarting the HEY!!!Craft project as HEY!!!Tale, with the launch of block game darling Hytale. The Digimon Fancomic is once again updating, with the chapter coming to a close by summer, I think. As evidenced by the 30 minute highlight above, link here in case it doesn't render right on your device of choice, I've gotten into a coding project to create an overly detailed reference for myself in the making of said fancomic.

Very little of this is easily bloggable-about, I'm afraid, and March marks the start of a hiatus for me wrt playing Tabletop rpgs. Bloggies season simply burned me out on the hobby, so taking a break to focus on other shit it is. I'm hoping that by the end of April, my energy will be back, and I'll start feeling strongly about elfgames again. This doesn't mean I'll be entirely absent, mind you. I do, in fact, have two fairly large blog projects in the works.

The Sonic SATAMdaptation Project has been kicked off, with both myself and Adam Seats (you might know them) working together to watch through the entire series and convert our thoughts on them into blogs. I will openly admit that I was responsible for more than a month's delay between our initial watch weekend and the publishing of our posts. Again, IRL stuff happened. We haven't set a dedicated release schedule, as finding time for us both to get into a discord call and have the verbal discussion is difficult. This project will be ongoing however, so you can look forward to them popping up from time to time.

The Neopets TTRPG died horrifically, and if you've been following me on Bluesky, you'll know I got embroiled in it. Here's a 4 hour recap back when the debacle was fresh for my full breakdown of what was wrong with it, before it's bombastic implosion with the license holder pulling the cord entirely. Much has happened behind the scenes that I've become privy to, and I'm working on a full writeup of what i've learned, my personal experience with it, and my thoughts on what went wrong where. The draft for that is currently at 5000 words. I've scheduled interviews. I'm doing a full on Journalism here. I have no idea when it will be done.

So yeah, that's a rundown of everything I've been up to for the last 3 months. It's been wild, and stressful, and definitely made it harder for me to blog about anything of value. What I should have done, and frankly, already learned once before, I can and should just blog about anything. I can't make promises that I won't just completely zone out and forget to update again for another month, though.

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

Gadda's 2025 (A Year In Review)

2026-01-09T00:00:00Z

You vs the guy she tells you not to worry about

Should old acquaintence be forgot? Nay, I say. This retrospective blogpost might be a week late to actually matter to anybody, but if you'll give this simple country farmer a moment, I'd like to look back at what all I've gotten up to in the year of 2025 before I turn my sights to that bright and shiny tomorrow. For old time's sake, if nothing else.

Howdy, Farmhands. I'm glad to see us all still here.

About this time in 2024, I made a grand announcement. For the latter half of that calander year, my creative output had been waning. I still was publically considered a Vtuber, with my appearances on stream becoming less and less. I tried to return to the screen in grand fashion a couple of times, but always fell off any semblence of a schedule due to issues with my dayjob and problems with my Beautiful Wife's health. We became foster parents for a succession of dogs, we cycled through roommates, and the structural integrity of our bedroom floor failed, leading to months long construction efforts that were required to fix it. By the time 2024 was coming to a close, my 5 years of being a Twitch streamer felt more like a far off memory than an active aspiration. That December, I decided it was time to officially retire and move on to a new passion of mine. Blogging.

PART 1: I BLOGGED

This didn't come out of nowhere. I'd already spent most of my tenure as a funny internet man who played minecraft with a virtual puppet waxing poetic about the tabletop roleplaying game hobby, spending hours yelling about discourse on twitter and slowly but surely accuring a collection of books and zines from various kickstarters. I'd tried on occasion to include my enjoyment of ttrpgs in my streamed content, but never truly managed to meld the audience I'd grown around the aforementioned funny minecraft stuff. I'd been blogging since February of 24, but only as the spirit hit me, and with really just for a place to put my Sanic Hack musings that wasn't Twitter. With my Twitch tenure coming to an end, I entered 2025 with the goal of blogging full time, weekly, even.

This, dear reader, was a mistake.

I'll get the obvious out of the way. Blogging does not pay the bills. Twitch streaming, for the hours I put into the production and performance, was not a viable second job. However, there were highs and lows of the added income, and recieving a few hundred dollars quarterly on top of donations was a very nice boost to my less than fantastic financials. Of the audience I'd accrued being a silly minecraft man on the internet, few were interested in following me to this new venture. Of those that WERE interested in supporting came a new stressor I hadn't anticipated- while offering subscriptions for entertainment that could be measured in hours of footage and chat logs made sense, asking for money in exchange for words I would work on sporadically, to be read in maybe 20 minutes at best felt... off. I struggled to find a reasonable balance of effort in producing the work with the amount of Stuff my paying readers could read. This lead to me scouring my folders for old wips, pushing out articles before I personally felt satisfied with them, and so many d20 roll tables that i wasn't even properly in love with, all in the name of getting SOMETHING for them out to read.

For anyone who's followed me on the internet for a reasonable amount of time, this probably sounds familiar. It is a known character flaw that I throw myself into whatever I start with a ton of gusto, only to realize i've overpromised my capability and peter out within six months. Completely ending my existing, ongoing creative output, and expecting to replace it with an entirely unreleated hobby as if the two were interchangable was never going to work out as I envisioned. If this year has taught me anything, it's that I can write some good posts*, but perhaps man cannot live** on blogging alone .

(when I give myself the time to properly develop them)

(express myself creatively)

*** (daddy needs some short form content)

That said, there ARE projects and posts I'm proud of! 2026 will feature more, longer posts that I allow myself the room to properly settle before hitting send, is all. I'd probably have more glowing things to say about this year if it weren't for-

PART 2: I DIDN'T MINECRAFT

There's a Genocide happening in Palestine, and while it certainly didn't START in 2025, a significant amount of details pertaining to who financially supports it and how became public information. Microsoft and by extension it's purchased game developer, Mojang, were added to a list of targets by the Palestinian Boycott, Divestment, and Sanctions National Comittee for... well, boycott, divestment, and sanctions. As someone who, even after retiring from performing on camera, was the maintainer of a Minecraft server for other Vtubers, known as Hey!!!Craft, this news led to some awkward choices. I could not, in good faith, continue to support the company that profited off what is essentially free advertisement for their video game, but multiple other individuals who had joined the project I headed used the server for their own video creation- pulling the plug would screw them over. Thankfully, everyone on the team was on the same page as I, and the server was put into permanent hiatus.

This was sort of a Big Deal for me personally, as Minecraft has been something I've played almost daily since discovering it way back in 2010, during the Alpha versions of the game. I met my Beautiful Wife on a minecraft server! And, more important to this blog post, I had begun a project I called The Nether Depthcrawl, that I was very excited about. This boycott, which I was very keen to participate in, did take the wind out of my sails, as I'd been writing a not insignificant amount of work in private drafts, waiting for just the right moment to start releasing it in chunks so as not to overload my audience with posts.

The suspension of Hey!!!Craft, and the end of production on the Nether Depthcrawl cleared my dance card, but left me without a project to direct my attention towards, right at the very beginning of my self ascribed year of blogging. To spoil what comes next a smidge, I do spend most of this year being relatively aimless where once I felt great purpose. Ah well.

PART 3: I JOINED A NEWSLETTER

Have you read Carouse, Carouse? It's a monthly Newsletter where a bunch of bloggers share their favorite posts from across the ttrpg blogging hobby, as well as produce bespoke new articles for our dear readers to enjoy. I won't tell you where the majority of my effort went, if only to keep the magic in our relationship alive. I do feel like I didn't give the project as much of my attention as I could have, however.

In my haste to increase my output to match my previous production capacity as a Vtuber, I actually spread myself too thin across platforms, with my contributions to Carouse, Carouse being minimal. I treated it like a second blog to maintain, without increasing the time I spent on writing to make up for the added workload. Things I planned either shipped unfinished or not at all, and I am quite regretful about that. My hope is that with my more lax approach to my primary blog, I will be able to properly offer more to the newsletter; the folks working on it are all great and deserve the world.

PART 4: I WAS PUBLISHED IN SOMETHING

I was a kickstarter stretch goal in 2024, somehow. That zine was completed early this year. It was my very first time working with an existing publishing group and having to adjust my writing to better fit their house style- I'm proud of the final result and thrilled to have had the experience. I wonder if I should make a stronger effort to collaborate with people this year, pitch a few projects, get more credits under my belt.

PART 5: I STARTED A DIGIMON FANCOMIC

The launch of both Digimon Story: Time Stranger and Digimon Beat Break has been a boon for one of my favorite childhood franchises, and as a result, a ton of my friends from childhood are indulging in both nostalgia and new appreciation for our shared youthful obsessions. A few of us decided to get back into making Sprite Comics featuring our OCs, and I couldn't help but join in. For my part, I intended on using the setting and assets from my favorite entry into the video game franchise, Digimon World 3. Only, as I began collecting resources, I became aware that said assets were less than accurately documented publically! This led me down a rabbit hole of emulators and github repositories to try and acquire the graphics I needed to bring my story idea to life. I've managed, somehow, but this little diversion became a month-long fixation for me, and I'm only 20 pages in!

PART 6: THESE ARE GETTING SILLY I DON'T NEED TO KEEP MAKING NEW PARTS FOR 1 PARAGRAPH

Sanic Hack had a couple of new entries, but to be honest, they were mostly proper blog versions of ideas I'd had in 2024; no serious development went into the ruleset.

Had a congaline of vehicle-related troubles. A torrential rain washed my road away and we had to team up with the neighbors to get it fixed. Car almost exploded due to a malfunctioning air compressor.

I moderated the Discord Server for R.R. Slugger's Summer of Slug! Technically I do this year round, but every summer the server gets a boost of new folks, and this year was pretty tame!

We adopted our Foster dog, Wendy, only to learn that she had a tumor that would become inoperable within 4 months. She was a very good girl who deserved so much better.

I played and 95% completed Pac-Man World Re-Pac, which I didn't blog about but DID have a few brain blasts about mid-tier platformers and their lack in the current gaming ecosystem.

I started and then paused an IRL homegame, the first I've been able to run since 2021! The previously mentioned road issue put a massive hamper on that.

I started my own static site instead of relying entirely on blogger! You might even be reading this on that platform now! It's very basic and I'm not very good at making it pretty, but it does the job!

PART 7: PLANS FOR 2026

While I firmly believe that had 2025 not been so absolutely horseshit for literally everybody I could have met my goals, 2026 is going to have to be significantly dialed back. Having these expectations for myself and being unable to meet them due to outside forces sucks, and I ought to be kinder to myself while the world continues to burn. With that in mind, here are my plans for the coming year.

1. Blog When The Moment Hits. Forcing a weekly schedule just caused problems, and I do better work when I have an idea, start a draft, and whack at it slowly over time instead of trying to rush it out. I cannot keep treating myself like a content machine, it's unfair.

2. Focus on existing projects. Digimon Comic and Carouse are the main ones, but also getting Sanic Hack into a playable state. I let these go in favor of trying to do it all, but they're what really bring me joy and I shouldn't let myself be distracted.

3. A Secret Third Thing. You'll know about this later next week probably.

And that's the long as the short of it. Now I can sit back and wait for that ball to drop, kiss my beautiful wife and sleep in on this, Janurary Firrrrrrrrrrrs-Eighth. Janurary 8th. 9th if you're not a member of my patreon.

Hmm.

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda.

The Smash Bros Mansion

2025-12-12T00:00:00Z

Art by Port of Zelda on tumblr

Howdy, Farmhands!

Super Smash Brothers, a fighting game with party game sensibilities, released for the Nintendo 64 in 1999. The appeal of the title that would go on to be one of Nintendo's most successful franchises, was not only in it's unique take on health bars that left competitors in an increasingly difficult scramble to remain on the stage at massive levels of damage, but in it's roster- Masahiro Sakurai, the game's director, managed to convince his superiors at Nintendo to draw from their collective IP to produce a crossover title that hadn't been attempted before. The end result was watching Yoshi and Mario duke it out with Link and Fox McCloud on stages taken from the likes of Kirby and Donkey Kong. For the first time, some of gaming's greatest mascots could interact outside of tiny cameos in their own titles, even if that interaction was just "cartoon violence." The world would never be the same.

It's sequel, Smash Brothers Melee (2001) expanded it's roster, including pulls from Fire Emblem and their Game & Watch handhelds, and increasing representation of the IP from the previous game. This decision brought success in North American markets to Fire Emblem, a franchise that hadn't seen much success outside of Japan, solidifying it's potential as a Kingmaker. Any IP that appeared in a Smash Brothers game could potentially reach an audience that wouldn't have given it a shot otherwise. This assumption has allowed the series to become an expo of gaming history in it's own right, as well as a lucrative marketing opportunity for companies outside Nintendo's network. With the reveal of Snake from Metal Gear and Sonic the fucking Hedgehog joining for the third entry, Super Smash Brothers Brawl (2008), the sky became the limit. Anyone's video game blorbo could show up to duke it out, and oh, did people imagine what that might look like for their faves.

This is another blog post where it seems like I'm simply using my platform to gush about something that I personally enjoy, but I really do have a point with all this that connects back to TTRPGs. Honest. You can hold on for a couple more paragraphs.

With the advent of the early-mid 2000's internet, fans of the series took to message boards and forums with gusto to discuss the logistics of their blorbos appearing in the next game. Conversations ranged from in-depth considerations of business relations between rights holders to simple conversation starters of "Wouldn't it be great if X game/character got in?" Nintendo themselves got in on the trend, releasing the roster for Brawl over a series of bespoke blogposts to raise hype for the game. One thing became clear, the process of speculating who would be next became a foundational part of Smash Bros fandom, and nothing was more indicative of that then the invention and proliferation of "The Smash Mansion."

"The Smash Brothers Mansion" is a concept in fanworks surrounding the Super Smash Series dating back to at least 2003, though this relic of a fanfic could very well simply be the oldest survivor of a trend dating back even further. The basic concept involves the following assumptions: 1. The Smash Brothers Tournaments are organized by a higher power with the ability to summon the Fighter Roster from their respective universes to participate. 2. When not competing, the characters relax, train, and interact in a facility that acts as almost a college dorm. The specific details of how the building is laid out, what resources are available to the characters within it, or if the canonical roster are the only people operating out of it is up to individual interpretation. 3. Shenanigans ensue. An early example of this concept being used that I have personal experience with is the sub-series of webcomic pages found Katie Tiedrich's Awkward Zombie . As Tiedrich's work skews towards comedy, the focus is less on combat and more on situational humor featuring quirks of the video game medium; Link from Ocarina of Time beats up his replacement and steals his outfit in order to continue participating in future tournaments, the Pikmin wreak havoc by collectively throwing Fox McCloud down a flight of stairs, and Roy reacts to not being in Super Smash Brothers Brawl by stalking and critiquing anyone else who joined after his firing.

This combination of Blorbo appreciation, Hype cycle, Domestic Comedy, and Commentary on the nature of and community surrounding Video Games as a medium is amazingly fertile ground for creativity. I personally joined in around 2013, during the leadup to the release of Super Smash Brothers For Wii U and 3DS. You may never believe me when I say this, but I was a Tumblr Blog Roleplay Girlie. I started off with a collection of OCs in 2010 before branching out to specific fandom spaces. One of my "muses" as we called them, was Resetti the Mole from Animal Crossing, and I had a grand time acting as a grumpy and loud middle aged man, tired of all these damn kids messing with the time-space continuum. Primarily I interacted with other Animal Crossing characters, but many others from Nintendo-adjacent IP would hit me up to write silly scenarios between our little guys. This status quo stayed about the same until the release trailer for "Smash 4" dropped, and with it, a FLURRY of activity, as suddenly folks remembered The Smash Mansion trope, and sought to emulate it. Multiple roleplayers from across different fandoms found the common ground of "Our Blorbos Are In The Same Video Game" and ran with it. Even blogs featuring characters that never appear in Smash Brothers were welcome if their parent IP had even a simple PNG of representation. And it didn't stop with the returning roster, either.

The hype cycle of Smash 4, and later Smash Ultimate, was intense. Nintendo's infamous "One More Thing" method of ending their presentations kept people excited and hungry for a new reveal- that every character got a bespoke animated introduction turned Nintendo Directs into a proper event. RP Blogs that took part in Fandoms connected to Smash couldn't look away, even if they didn't plan on getting the game itself. Any day now, one of their blorbos could be added, giving them (and their fandom by association) an invitation to the club. Milliseconds after a Direct ended, previously small groups playing niche blorbos with each other would begin posting in confusion as they suddenly had a hundred new followers from, like, Dixie Kong accounts. There was a congratulatory vibe to finding yourself in that position, as if the group had been waiting for you all along, and now was your moment. Come on in, drop your bags at the door. A room has been prepared for you and everyone is happy you made it. Welcome Home, Newcomer.

I think there is something to be learned here. Not that hype and crossovers are what we should be doing, more of the community thing. Super Smash Brothers became a celebration of video games in their totality, and the inclusion of characters from titles across history has done more to spread that history to new audiences than any ad campaign could have. The joy a fandom has for a property that's fallen into the background suddenly becoming aflush with new folk as the IP is elevated onto this stage is intense, and Smash has personally gotten me into titles I would have never considered trying on my own. Smash becomes an excuse for an outpouring of appreciation and celebration of video game history; because at the end of the day, we're all nerds who love games. Why can't we embody that joy more often?

This is a post about TTRPGS, despite everything, and while there are significant differences between Video Game and Tabletop fandoms and fandom spaces, they are still spaces with rich histories that deserve to be celebrated. The big names in the room tend to get a lot of the attention, and while recent years has seen a boom of indie titles recieving dedicated followings, there's still plenty of room for acceptance of new blood in those groups. There ought to be a JOY in sharing new systems and styles of play with others, in learning about the paths taken throughout time that lead to both popular and niche titles of today, not because we want to convert others to our preferred way of doing things, but because appreciating them for what they are and what they contributed to the hobby overall can only lead to a better hobby going forward. In a way, we're already all living under the roof of our own Smash Mansion. Maybe we just need to get better at welcoming our new neighbors.

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

Only tangentially related; I wrote a Lasers & Feelings hack about being an Action Figure and deciding if you're going to lean in or fight against the role you've been cast (in plastic). It's free for legal reasons.

https://farmergadda.itch.io/smashandbrothers

Your Own Worst Enemy

2025-11-21T00:00:00Z

Howdy, Farmhands!

I think everyone would have a better time if we could all internalize the reality that our dearly loved hobbies are all a little bit shit. Yes, that one. Yes, even the one you like the most. Yes, yes, ESPECIALLY all of mine. No, it's not a moral failing that you still like them. And while we're on the topic, we should also all internalize the reality that we'll never be the Number One Fan or Bestest Boy at doing whatever that hobby is! Perfection isn't attainable, nor should imperfection prevent you from enjoying your sort-of-shit hobby!

There is a pervasive opinion among the laymen that just because there is a high skill ceiling for any given activity, that all people engaged in that activity should aspire to reach it. This line of thinking is bullshit. It's cool that olympic athletes can challenge and break the documented bounds of human achievement. I go for a walk every day. Same basic behavior, but I'm doing it because it's enjoyable to me, not because I intend to ever reach for the top rung.

This is a blogpost about TTRPGS, by the by. Not sure that's been entirely clear up until now.

Let's be very blunt with each other. We're sat around our tables with some shapes with numbers stamped on them, pretending to be elves and shit. I love doing that. You love doing that. But we're still just pretending to be elves and shit. This hobby, even at it's highest level of production and academia, is an act that is meant to be enjoyable. It's surprising how easy it is to forget that, especially when the person whose elfgame shit you're critiquing happens to yourself.

I personally have an issue with this, as I am a very critical person. There is nothing I love more than stripping a piece of media down to it's bare parts and discussing how they fit together and where improvement could be made. It is my favorite activity. This sort of thing is absolutely fine and a valid way to engage with media, but it can become a little much when you start to turn that energy inward. Once, during a session of My Pirate Game, I ended the game with the normal wind down of "let's critically analyze our choices and consider mechanic changes to better accommodate our needs" and got hit with one of the new players going "you could be a little less harsh on yourself." And they were right. I wasn't discussing a product made for consumption by the masses or sold for money, I was treating my friendy-friend game time like it was a test I needed to ace. That's unhealthy.

Roleplaying games, even at their grindiest, crunchiest, and "we have to pull out a physical tape measure to ensure the target of that mini is within range"-iest, are about having fun. What counts as fun is different between individuals, sure, but the enjoyment of the thing is very much the point. There's nothing wrong with improving your craft or being open about your weaknesses, but you simply cannot lose sight of the point of all this in your drive to better your skills. Give yourself the space to be imperfect. Refrain from judging yourself so harshly. We're all pretending to be Elves in a hobby that is, by god, a Little Bit Shit.

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

I Like Trains

2025-11-08T00:00:00Z

chugga choo choo

In November of 2024, Maggie Mahoney hosted a month-long Itch Jam titled the "Tabletop Train Jam." At the time, I thought this was a fantastic idea, but knew I wouldn't have the time to participate myself. However, I am, if nothing else, full to the brim with Opinions. I chose to share those Opinions on social media, intending to edit them into something of a larger essay later. It is now November of 2025 and high time I fulfilled that intention.

Howdy, Farmhands!

The implementation of Trains in TTRPGs is an interesting topic to think about. Their inherant purpose as vehicles assumes they're meant for overland travel, hauling large amounts of cargo (passengers or otherwise), at a speed incapable by other mundane means. However, Elfgames rarely operate at a scale that requires A Train to be available. If they are on offer, they risk trivializing the mechanics used by the party up until the point that said train was made accessible. The same can be said of teleportation magic and airships, so this isn't a novel conundrum by any means. How do we implement Trains into our games, and maybe more pressing, why would we want to?

Trains are COOL, is the thing. They're infinitely customizable- new cars can be added or removed with only the limitation of the engine's capacity. They're an enclosed space- until you reach a destination, there's no just Getting Off the train. They can be natural extensions to the existing resource management the party has been dealing with, simply scaled up beyond their individual capabilities- Logistics such as fuel and available track come into play. They can be transport, player base, or portable dungeon. They're also inherantly Timers for Situations. Paper Mario The Thousand Year Door has an entire chapter of it's story dedicated to a mystery inside a Train- with the ticking clock counting down to their arrival, at which point the suspects disperse, giving tension to the scenario. Stick your party in A Train with a bunch of characters, have Something Happen that needs to be resolved before you reach the Station, and bam, you have an adventure.

Trains also provide a premise for episodic adventures. Stopping at a small station to refuel or drop off some cargo is the perfect excuse for a small one-shot to happen in between larger modules. Ressha Sentai Toqger managed 52 episodes of mostly Just That, with each new Station basically not existing in the fictional world until the show runners needed a filler episode. If all of your stuff is On The Train and the Train is going to be In a Location for a while, the party has good reason to engage with the barrier preventing the train from moving on. Or, if they get in a situation while OFF the train, there's impetus to wrap things up before it embarks without them!!!

Trains arent all comfort or portable set piece. In order for a Train line to be successful and worth persuing, a significant amount of infrastructure is required for the fantasy world to make any use of them. With infrastructure comes the risk of that investment being damaged, destroyed, or delayed. Digimon Frontier (and isn't that a deep cut) had it's entire Digital World crisscrossed by Tracks, meaning the entire planet was accessible by Train... But the tracks were made of Data and could be absorbed or altered at any time. Narratively, this was how the story kept the protagonists in one place for any given amount of time, and produced free mcguffins wherever they found themselves. Does the party want to leave? They gotta get the track data from the bad guys to continue on their journey.

And this entirely assumes the train in question is traveling physical Distance. Take Kamen Rider Den-O; their train runs through TIME. Secret Trains are the primary transport between protected magical locations like Jowling Kowling Rowling's school for Wizard Cops, acting as a thematic transport between WORLDS. In a fantasy elfgame, the literal use of a train can play second to the tonal vibes it gives for being present, and can be fun to play around with!

Trains are cool, and their use could be levied in an Elfgame to make really creative adventures and campaigns is what I'm saying, I guess.

Or maybe I'm just Autistic.

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

As a final note and a bit of an example- here's a translated replay of a Sword World 2.5 game that primarily takes place on a train! It's got a neat, non-train related Fellows system that I keep eyeballing for other stuff.

Themes - Quicker Game Prep for The Sanic Hack

2025-10-25T00:00:00Z

Oh, the places we'll go

This post is part of a series of Blogs where I work on my home-ruleset, 'The Sanic Hack.' You may or may not gain better comprehension from reading the other posts in this series.

PREV/NEXT

This post directly follows after both Kludgebuckets and Costumes. You may wish to skim those first to understand where my head was at when writing the initial bluesky thread that then became this post. I love regurgitating my old skeets into blog posts. it is my favorite activity

Howdy, Farmhands!

A major draw of the media I intend to emulate with the Sanic Hack is their fantastical world design. Mario has his Mushroom Kingdom, Klonoa his Phantomile, and Sonic his various Zones on Planet Mobius. Earth. "Sonic's World." They've retconned a lot about Sonic's setting in the past, don't think about it too much. Unlike video games though, Tabletop Roleplaying is not necessarily a visual medium. This leaves a lot of the heavy lifting to the DM to properly describe with words, and as much as this project has been "Gadda Complicates An Odd-like", I do still want there to be simple solutions to the problems I'm inventing. How do I make the act of preparing a wacky video-game level setting for players to imagine their blorbos running around in easy for the DM? How do I keep them from feeling rote, without needing to write a full on Gazette for hyper-specific examples? OSR is no stranger to Gonzo settings, but there's a difference in mouthfeel between, say, The Dark of Hot Springs Island and Donkey Kong Country's Jungle Japes.

I'm FAIRLY certain Jungle Hijinks doesn't have any sex slaves in it.
I could be wrong; they never clarify the relationship with Rambi the Rhino.

The first draft of this idea is something I'm calling "Themes." In theory, during prep, a DM would draw 2 and combine them into the core premise of the location. "Rainy" and "Jungle" would have overlap but still be distinct from "Rainy" and "Woodlands", for example. Each component Theme would then include a list of resources, lootables, and key items for the DM to populate the bespoke location with. This template would, theoretically, be just enough for the DM to run that location quickly and inspire on the fly npcs and adventure sites without the Theme prescribing those parts of play. Preferably, these would each fit on a single page, allowing for one's personal collection of available themes to be added to or removed from to match the table's needs. A table with an arachnophobe would remove the "Webs" Theme, for example, and play could continue with no hiccups.

For each location theme, you'll need the following:

3 Costumes: +1, +2, and +3
Accessories for the +3 Costume to be craftable, plus 3 unrelated.
At least 1 of each category of weapon: Light, Heavy, Ranged, etc.
Core Kludgebucket Parts: Between 1 to 3 should do.
Auxillary Kludgebucket Parts: I would prepare at least 3, though these can be bs'd in the moment if needed.

My running tally puts this at 16 items per theme at the low end. This seems like a lot, but keep in mind Themes will be reused and no one location should contain every possible option for the theme. A Jungle/Carnival Island might only have 1 Costume from the Carnival List, and the Core Parts from the Jungle List. Part of the DM prep involves determining what from each theme your location will pull from their lists and what will be saved for later. There's no harm in deciding that an item you hadn't planned on including was there all along, should your players take an interest in seeking them out. Alternatively, if players spot a doo-dad that was there for flavor and want to take it with them, DMs can just quickly slot it into one of the item types.

Let's make an example-

buzz buzz the posts must flow

Theme: Beehive

Weapons
Light Wp	Bee Stingers	(1d4, Dual)
Med Wp	Bear Claw Gloves	(1d6)
Heavy Wp	Giant Honey Wand	(1d10)
Light Range	Pollen Arrows	(1d6, blast) Creates a Pollen cloud on impact, works as smokescreen
Heavy Range	Beezooka	(1d8, blast) Fires a cloud of Bees, 3 Charges, must be placed near an active hive overnight to repopulate

Accessories
Honey Pot Lid	(+1 AMR)
Striped Dungarees	(+1 AMR)
Buzzy Bee Slippers	(+1 AMR)
Suspender Bee Wings	(+1 AMR)
Antenna Headband	(+1 AMR)

Costumes
Honey Bear Suit	(1 Armor)	(A Fuzzy Ear Headband and a Red Pullover)
Apiarists Suit	(2 Armor)	(Beekeeper Helmet, Gloves, and a Thick Coat)
Hive Knight	(3 Armor) (Craftable)	Giant Honey Wand Honey Pot Lid Striped Dungarees

Core Kludgebucket Parts
Bee Nest (0 Star)	(-3 STR)
Box Hive (1 Star)	(+1 STR, -2 SPD)

Propulsion Parts
Large Bee Wing (0 Star)	(req manual flapping)

Random Guff
Honeycomb Hex	(It's very sticky)
Pollen Pod	(Hope you're not allergic)
Empty Honeypot	(Careful, it's ceramic)
Saxophone	(Do ya like Jazz?)

Actually, now that I'm looking at all this, it DOES feel a smidge overkill, especially as I'm meant to mix and match this with a second, equally long list. The hope, though, is that once these Themed lists are done, they will pay for themselves as quick and easy reference sheets for multiple sessions of play.

This draft obviously is focusing on lootable items, but the vision for this includes descriptors of flora, fauna, and weather for these themes. I think that's probably best saved for the post on the second pass, as I've whacked at this post long enough.

Additional Thoughts:

I'm playing with the idea of Costumes innately containing a weapon as one of their component parts. This slightly alters the math, making a comparable setup for +3 AMR with a lower level Costume + Weapon 1 card more? I don't know if this would be that noticable to a player. I'm also considering codifying a rule where a player can only have 1 Costume in their inventory at a time? Changing your costume entirely on the fly feels easily abusable, and I KNOW we're not supposed to design while assuming the worst of our audience, but it's still a concern. The only real balance I can think of is in the possibilty that if you have to drop the Costume for whatever reason, it's component parts go with it. insert gif of mario 3 losing a suit power-up here

Perhaps changing costumes in the middle of an adventure would require a Bulky "Costume Closet" item that can hold multiple Costumes and a turn to "Quick Change" into a different one. Then I'm not really removing the ability to do so, just locking it behind a little extra effort on the player's part to seek out the means to do so. How Delightfully Devilish, Seymour.

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

Gadda's Blog Crash Course - What is the OSR (And Why Do I Care?)

2025-10-17T00:00:00Z

You can gain access to blogposts early by pledging $1 or more over on patreon!

Howdy, Farmhands!

My blog is very young. While I've been posting various ttrpg design hot takes for years, it wasn't until mid 2024 that I started to produce long-form essays and found that I really enjoyed the experience. Trying to get your entire thought out in a limited format is a good exercise, but some posts just need the extra word count to properly convey their merit. The unfortunate side effect of this switch being that I can no longer assume my audience has passively absorbed my opinions over years of Poasting, and thus a lot of terms I consider fundamental to my understanding of games are new and inscrutable to my readers.

Basically, my discord server politely but firmly asked me to pause and explain what the fuck I'm talking about, please.

So here we are, with the start of a series I'm calling ' Gadda's Blog Crash Course.' While these posts exist to educate my handful of weirdos, they aren't meant to be the definitive word on anything. This is TTRPGS As Explained By Gadda, and I have my own biases and incorrect assumptions as does anyone. I strongly urge anyone with different experiences than I to comment or blog their own additions or rejections of my posts, if only to deepen the pool my readers draw from.

Today's topic seems simple on the surface, but is actually quite deep.

"What is the OSR?"

To put it VERY simply, skipping decades of nuance to get to the core of things- "OSR" or "Old School Revival" is a genre of game that focuses on the trends and experiences people remember from the original years of Dungeons and Dragons. The term began in the year 2000, as a reactionary movement in response to the release of Dungeons and Dragons 3rd Edition. The play-style generally focuses on purposefully risking your character's well being for the chance of acquiring goods that will increase their chances of survival during future risks, with a game master remaining as neutral and impartial as possible, neither helping nor hindering the player in their quest to overcome those risks and acquire those goods.

Nothing I say after this point will be nearly as simple.

As time has gone on, and both Dungeons and Dragons as a game and the very online spaces people use to discuss it and it's history have gone through drastic changes, the target and purpose of "The OSR" as a community has changed, splintered, and become incredibly muddled. This is because different people like different things, you see. And also because people dislike people who like different things than themselves. Thus, the term "OSR" has evolved in separate corners of the internet to refer to multiple movements, overlapping play-styles, and as shorthand for an out-group of DnD role-players who aren't currently interested in the ongoing thing WOTC is printing.

To be completely fair to anyone who's confused about any of this- you're not wrong, it is fucking confusing! It's confusing to be IN the in-group that gets this sort of thing, and Homestuck levels of unbearable to parse for anyone outside it! Because there is no actual authority of what is or is not part of the movement, anyone can argue that they've involved, even if their actual circle is leagues removed from whatever older folks believe to be core to their hobby. This leads to some of the absolute worst offenders of online shitheads retreating to "OSR" as some sort of safe zone where they can regurgitate their unacceptable beliefs about sex, gender, and race unchallenged, having been driving away from the current generation of Dungeons and Dragons by a younger, more open minded audience. For many, "OSR" is a dog whistle; whatever takes on it's name is going to be gross and regressive, and is only attended by Bad People.

I will take this moment to assure the reader that this is not my personal experience, and the vast majority of OSR players I engage with are Trans Commie Furries and the straight folks they've befriended along the way. I do want to stress that this hobby has a bright spot.

It is not hard to imagine a movement based on returning to a previous state of a game already rife with colonial and racial subtext (or hell, just Text) to be a haven for regressive politics and hateful ideology. The original DnD is notorious for pushing disgusting stereotypes, and the earliest years of The OSR was primarily about continuing to support that existing game. HOWEVER, I would be a massive dick if I pretended the worst of the worst was the entirety of the hobby during those original years. While is it historical record that many of the game's authors were shitty people with shitty opinions that bled into their work, DnD was a hobby filled with all kinds of people from every walk of life. Many were just as critical of the game's output at the time it was new as there are now that it's flaws have been well documented, discussed, and ultimately ignored by it's publisher. There are a number of individuals interested in an old school style of play who experienced a very different kind of Dungeons and Dragons than is usually spoken about online.

"So... again, What is the OSR???"

OSR is a form of role-playing not dissimilar to it's evolutionary predecessor, Dungeons and Dragons, where you go on medieval fantasy adventures with a Game Master and 1 or more Players. However, it focuses on high risk scenarios and a neutral authority who describes the situations characters are placed in and details the results of said character's choices without favoring or purposefully hindering the player. Different tables and groups and corners of the internet will argue for more specific descriptions, and will continue to argue and debate and add and remove points until the end of time.

"...Okay then, What is the OSR to YOU???"

A number of individuals have attempted to write encompassing descriptions of the hobby, most of which are still pointed to for newcomers to get a quick overview of what to expect. As the hobby and it's corner evolve, new descriptions and summaries are needed. The list of positive attributes I associate with OSR games is very close to Ben Milton's 2019 attempt to coin a separate name from the baggage of "OSR", though it wasn't able to replace the term in common usage:

Adventure Game: The term “Adventure” does a lot of heavy lifting for a single word, and covers the vast majority of what I enjoy.

It implies authentic peril and the possibility of loss.
It implies strangeness, travel, the unexpected, and the confusing.
It implies variety and an episodic structure, a picaresque rather than a novel.
It implies cleverness, ingenuity, and cunning rather than a bloody slog.
It implies characters like Conan, Luke Skywalker, Elric, Hellboy or Fafrd.
It’s short, simple, and isn’t obscure. Episodic-high-stakes-open-ended-lateral-problem-solving-fantasy-game might be more accurate, but good luck with that catching on.
It evokes (in my head) a game that’s simple, unpretentious, and focused on fun at the table.

However, the post that I repeatedly link to, is W.F. Smith's Posters, Posers, and POSR(s), which includes the argument that the current batch of OSR games in line with the online diy-dnd blogging scene largely is it's own beast, with a lineage connecting to the original OSR but without a direct through-line. It's also a significantly better historical guide through the OSR than the one I've made above, if only because he's very good at linking to other people who have posted further reading.

This "blogosphere" of people posting and debating and creating answers to problems for others to maybe make use of is the backbone of the OSR as I experience it. There is no need to adhere to a specific vision of a lost playstyle, nor the necessity of keeping your math compatible with a game written by shitty people with shitty ideas. There are carried on elements of those products, for sure, but only after they have been inspected, dissected, and deemed worthy of carrying on. And just as the very term "OSR" itself evolved in different pockets of the internet, so too have different camps around specific mechanics and vibes formed as different people judge these smaller elements of a larger experience and find them worth keeping or something to discard.

This, then, is the "OSR" that I enjoy- not a dogged defiance of time, digging it's heels in to remain in a space that was outdated before the 90's finished rolling through; but a culture of investigation, discussion, and recycling of the historical record of play by people who like pretending to be elves. There have been games that come out of this culture that affirm the principles of those original works, joss them entirely, or even invent new frameworks to emulate the vibes.

I just wish we could all agree on a different name for SEO purposes.

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

Reasons to Have a Hoedown

2025-09-19T00:00:00Z

As if any of us need a reason for unrestrained summer fun

Howdy, Farmhands!

Celebrations are an oft forgotten part of worldbuilding. Adventures derived from loss or fear are just easier to write, I think. It's simpler to motivate your players to go save the Blacksmith's daughter from Goblins, as opposed to setting them in front of a County Fair and telling them to go have fun. But, again, Celebrations are a big part of the world! How and why people party says a lot about the culture they live in, and giving players the chance to participate in those festivities does a ton for their immersion.

To that end, I've compiled this d20 list of reasons to get funky with it and party on. No more obvious references to real world religious events or hastily mustached christmas analogues, barely hiding their origin. Roll on the table; that's why they're celebrating. Fluff as needed. Save a glass of punch for me.

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

Reasons to Throw a Hoedown
1	Harvest Season's Arrived! It's time to yoink shit out of the ground.
2	Barn Raising!
3	There's a Wedding! Some Folks got Hitched, and more importantly, there's an open bar.
4	The Creek Done Rose. Various plans and promises are put on hold until the matter is resolved.
5	A Child has been born! It's their first, and everyone's smoking cigars, as is custom.
6	Tonight's a Blue Moon. Those only come once in a... in a.... huh.
7	The Rain's come! Time to wheel out your parched friends and family for some Moisture.
8	Planting Season's Arrived! It's time to jam shit in the ground.
9	The Boys are Back in Town!
10	The Rain finally stopped. Fish out your loved ones and wait for things to dry out.
11	It's someone's birthday! They survived another year!
12	The Cows came home. I didn't know Cows could do that...
13	Goose laid a Golden Egg. I didn't know Geese could do that...
14	A Child has been born! It's their first... in the double digits. The drinks are strong
15	Timmy was finally rescued from that well. We gotta get Lassie one of those button pads or something.
16	The Ornery Town Bitch finally Croaked (And Good Riddance)
17	The Horses Demand it.
18	Someone bought some Magic Beans!
19	The Chickens have hatched. Quick, somebody count them! Why didn't we do this when they were stationary???
20	Honestly? Who cares?! Pass the hooch!

Costumes and Accessories - Inventory Management Musings for The Sanic Hack

2025-09-12T00:00:00Z

hey hey i wanna be a rock star

This post is part of a series of Blogs where I work on my home-ruleset, 'The Sanic Hack.' You may or may not gain better comprehension from reading the other posts in this series.

PREV/NEXT

Howdy, Farmhands!

Worn Gear in Into the Odd/Cairn is pretty straightforward. There are 3 main kinds of armor, all bulky, with increasing levels of protection and a higher pricepoint. There is then the option to include Shields, Helmets, and/or Gambeson to go under the actual armor, each adding "+1" in whatever configuration you choose. Armor as a Stat caps out at 3, so you can't fill your inventory with Helmets and become invincible. For a game of medieval fantasy, this is the bare minimum you need, really. But, I'm writing a game of Blorbos going on Adventures; and a big element of going and seeing a new place involves shopping while you're there. How do I give the player the sensation of customizing their look with Worn items while still maintaining the inventory management element of the chassis I'm using? Also, I really don't want to write out a super long list of every Shoe style available to Hedgehog.

   Let's start with the replacement for Cairn armor (not Armor, keep up) with "Costumes" A Costume is assumed to be a full set of clothes, but its pieces cannot be separated mechanically. These will come in 3 tiers of Price and Armor; similar to the Brigadine, Chainmail, and Plate tiers found in Cairn. +1 and +2 Costumes should be purchaseable, with the +2 Costume being harder to find. Then, we'll call items that add additional points of armor an "Accessory." These can be any individual piece of clothing, but only 1 piece of a larger outfit. Here you'd have your Shoes, your Scarves, your Hats, and your Bracelets. If a party of technicolor furries were to go to the Jungle Island and shop, they'd find suitably Tropical looking doodads to buy. Shark-tooth necklaces, masks carved from stone, maybe an umbrella made from Gorilla hide. These are all "Accessories", though, and are mechanically identical : +1 Armor.

   In a game based on Into the Odd/Cairn, the real reason to pass up 1 mechanically identical item over another comes down to the game's approach on problem solving- the Gorilla Hide umbrella might make walking through a trap involving a spray of liquid NOT risky, for example. In order to reach your MAX Armor, 3, with only Accessories, however, you'd need to use three whole inventory slots on your person for them. That's a large chunk of your base 10 slots, so what are you to do?

  My solution is to make every "Costume" of the highest tier, +3 AMR, craftable. In this theoretical, designing said "Costume" and at least 1 "Accessory" for each component of the design would be part of writing an Adventure. Collecting and combining the 3 Accessories compresses them into a single bulky card. Mechanically, once you have one Outfit with Armor 3, you don't need to look for any more. But with every major location having a new Outfit to find, and thematic Accessories to customize your character with, there's a lot of motivation to go out and explore, if only to dress up your blorbo. For DMs, this means they can either brainstorm ideas while doing prep for the adventure or BS a description in the moment. If it's an Accessory, it's +1. If it's an Costume, it's 1 to 3 with it's price being 20, or 40 of the game's currency.

How does this Math? To get +3 with the cheapest purchase, you'd need to spend 4 slots, 2 for the +1 Costume and 2 +1 Accessories, each their own slot. Bumping up the price (though you'll need to actively search for it), you can only use 3 slots for the +2 Costume and 1 +1 Accessory. Successfully finding and them combining the three specific +1 Accessories compresses them down into a single +3 Costume, making it a worthwhile endeavor even if it takes a while.

At least that's how it works in my head. Some of you are probably reading this and shaking your heads slowly. Lucky for me this isn't your blog and I can post whatever I want. Surely, I will never need to make a future post detailing how this went horribly horribly wrong!

Further Thoughts -

The original bsky thread that led to this post was written off the back of "Kludgebuckets", which supposed a grid based system for building and maintaining vehicles, and the next post in this series will wrap that chunk of thought up in a neat little bow. This feels a bit off; like I'm only making this post to prime you for the next... But, no, that's exactly what I'm doing. Hopefully this wasn't a complete waste of your time, and the next post in this series comes out soon. (I begin to don the hot dog costume and prepare to find whoever did this)

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

This post and others like it are made possible by members of my Patreon, where you can see Game WIPs and Previews of future blogposts a week early! Thank you in particular to Tanuki543 for your continued support!

Obligatory Appendix N Post

2025-09-08T00:00:00Z

You folks, probably

Howdy, Farmhands!

There comes a time in every blog's life when it must attempt one of the many traditional blog topics that have been done to utter death. You know the ones. "Fixing the Thief", for example, is practically a rite of passage into Blog-Adult-Hood. "Overloading Encounter Die", that's a good one. Eventually, we all find ourselves passionately describing our preferred method of "Running a Hexcrawl." Today I find myself prompted to partake of one of these well-trod discussions, in the form of listing my personal Appendix N.

"Appendix N: Inspirational and Educational Reading" is a section of the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons DM's Guide, featuring a list of fictional works that inspired Gary Gygax in his production of the game. The original list included such titles as Robert E. Howard's "Conan the Barbarian" novels, Jack Vance's "The Dying Earth", and various works of H.P. Lovecraft's "Cthulu" mythos. For decades, nerds intrigued by Gary Gygax's imagination and the drive could use this list of Authors and titles to begin their own journey down the same path that produced the staggeringly creative Dungeons and Dragons game. Don't get me wrong, a number of titles on said list are good works of fiction, but the hero worship of Gygax himself has lead to the Appendix N becoming something of a holy text in some circles. A structured reading list of books you can absorb to follow in Gary's own footsteps! Wow!

(I pause to make a jerking hand motion I shan't describe further)

When it comes to modern TTRPG, the term "Appendix N" is simply shorthand for "List of Other Things that Inspired Me and Might Inspire You". My favorite such list is found in Claymore's Adventure Module, "The Martial Cult of Blood Knight Gaius", and includes a book, a movie, AND a specific music track from an album! We are not limited to only referencing to the written word, but media as a whole! Revolutionary. Today, as part of Prismatic Wasteland's Blog Bandwagon, I have prepared for you a non-exhaustive list of my own inspirations, so that one day, when I make it big, you too can follow in my grand footsteps and learn how the Master grew to become the creative visionary you adore.

(more jerking hand motions)

Sonic Adventure (Sega Dreamcast, 1998/1999)

I've been asked to expand upon what Sonic Games are the best for ttrpg inspiration before, and its pretty much just this one. Like don't get me wrong, I firmly believe we can and should take inspiration and lessons from all media we consume for our elfgames, but as a text to study explicitly for the purpose of acquiring useful skills? Yeah, this one.

Sonic Adventure is, even in it's most stable and visually pleasing (read: modded) form, a game that feels cobbled together. Sonic Team didn't fully understand how to make a Sonic the Hedgehog game in 3D, and this title also had to double as a showcase for the then brand new Dreamcast console's features. It's a game that tries to take the best elements of the previous 2D Platforming Sonic Quadrology and make it work with an added axis. You've probably heard the Internet's opinion of how it panned out.

I find my opinion on the thing waxes and wanes whether I'm experiencing it as a player or as a designer. I can clearly see the -intent- in a number of choices made by Sonic Team, while still disliking the end experience of those decisions. Let me give you an example.

In Sonic CD's first act, Palmtree Panic, there are a number of ramps that switch the player's perspective of Sonic from the side to top-down. He rushes straight up what appears to be a flat wall before being jettisoned off the top. Neat. Playing this set-piece feels cool because you go flying and then have to control where you land, deciding whether or not to aim for the tallest point or to try and travel as far as you can while you have airtime. But something fans have noticed, if not when the game released, then certainly as the internet allowed for the sharing of neat video game trivia, is that halfway up said ramp, the game's 2D Sky box flips upside down. The ramp isn't a ramp. It's an approximation of a 3D Loop in a 2D game. Once you notice it, you can't un-notice it, and the experience is completely re-contextualized! This visual is very simple to put into Sonic CD, because there is a very specific sequence of events that would ever make it visible to the player- they would 1. Have to choose to enter one of the ramps, and 2. Travel up that ramp high enough for the predetermined "flip" in the level's skybox graphic to appear. All the devs had to do was make sure any of the flipped part of the skybox doesn't show up anywhere else in the level proper.

In Sonic Adventure's first level, Emerald Coast, there is a section with a wall run leading into a tunnel carved into the stone of the islet you're racing across. If Sonic makes it to said tunnel with enough speed to also successfully make the wall run, he'll do three loops up and around the tunnel walls before blasting out the other end and jettisoning off into the air. Neat. Unfortunately, playing this set-piece doesn't feel nearly as cool as it should for a couple of reasons. The initial Wall run section is fine; it requires the player to maintain their speed and angle in order to not slip off it and be forced to use the ground route across the islet, but the moment Sonic gets close enough to the tunnel, all control is taken away from the player. A speed booster immediately brings him to top speed, and controller inputs are disabled for the duration of the Tunnel. I can understand why this was the choice made; Sonic Team wanted cool set-pieces like they'd included in the previous games- but in this fully modeled and 3 Dimensional space, there's only one way to guarantee the player experiences them when the designers wanted them to appear in the level. They were still mostly rewards for player choice, but the trade off was taking player agency away while Sonic does the stuff players wanted to see Sonic doing, which soured the experience.

This push and pull of wanting large, intriguing set pieces and spectacles while respecting player freedom is an important lesson for any TTRPG. You've probably heard of terms like "railroading" before, where players are forced down a set path regardless of their choices. Many a DM has fallen in love with the idea of a story that happens Just So and tried their darndest to ensure it happens, player agency be damned. Sonic Adventure is a series of really cool ideas cobbled together with guardrails to make sure you don't miss them- and that's as much a strength as it is a flaw. But it IS a strength! The cool shit in Sonic Adventure is, without fail, objectively cool! Figuring out how to include them without yanking the controller from the player's hands is a worthwhile aim, in both video and elf games.

Digimon Adventure (Toei Animation, 1999)

I may not post about it as much as Sonic, but I'm a BIG Digimon fan. The American dub was the first anime I really got into; though I had to catch up with re-runs of the first 3 seasons in between the then airing fourth. It wouldn't be until I was in high school that I finally gained access to the original Japanese run of Digimon Adventure and it's sequel, Digimon Adventure 02 and enjoyed the series as a whole in one go. It's a fun Isekai slash Shounen slash Monster Collector slash Coming of Age story if you're into any of those things.

Something you may notice from the image I've chosen above is how many characters are shoved into the frame. Hikari, the kid in yellow next to the cat, shows up 3 quarters of the way through as sort of a Green Ranger situation, but the rest of the cast is present from episode one. Considering the average run time of a single episode is 23 or so minutes, and a good chunk of that runtime is for stock footage transformation sequences, you'd assume that none of these kids get any good screen time. And you'd be wrong! Digimon Adventure is a masterclass at sharing the spotlight among it's ensemble cast, with every character getting development in and out of their focused arcs. Despite it's Saturday morning, monster of the week format, Digimon Adventure makes sure that every character in the cast changes and is changed by their relationships to each other.

Spotlight sharing is a stumbling block for many in TTRPGs. Unlike the 52 episode + 2 movie order that Digimon Adventure got to spread it over, we have no good way of knowing how long we have with the characters at the table. Making sure everyone feels like they got their time to shine is a challenge. But framing it as a challenge to win is a mistake, I think. If the spotlight is treated as a finite resource to battle over, the players will naturally start acting as such. For my money, prompting my players to become the trigger for another player's big moment has worked wonders. Instead of a single spotlight that only one character can stand in, these moments become stories in which one character directly supported and led the other to a dramatic and impactful development. How the supporting characters do this then becomes buildup to their own moments, in which the characters they've impacted will surely do the same.

I make it sound like an easy one size fits all solution, but this is as much a learned skill as anything. It requires all players feel empowered to be the supporter when it's not their focus, as well as take the space they need when it is their time to shine. Prompting can only go so far, as inevitably some characters will simply be louder than others- Digimon Adventure even stumbled with this in it's later third when it focused more heavily on two of the now 8 person cast for the purposes of selling toys. But when I find myself struggling with this, I still cast my thoughts back to Digimon Adventure.

Sandland (Akira Toriyama, 2000)

Akira Toriyama needs no introduction, nor am I the first to write about how his worlds and characters are inspiring for ttrpgs specifically. I could very well put his combined works as the entirety of this Appendix and the lot of you would surely nod sagely and move on with your lives. I purposefully only picked one of his manga for this list, however, and I knew my choice had to be that of SandLand.

SandLand is a fairly short manga, only filling a single tankobon volume and originally running in Shonen Jump for all of 4 months back in 2000. The story it tells starts out as a generic road trip adventure, but quickly reveals the guilt of it's deutoragonist at having participated in the crimes of the fascist human government that rent the world asunder in it's greed to control the greatest resource available- water. It's mere 14 chapters speed-runs the shounen adventure format, revealing hidden villains as quickly as previous ones are dispatched, blasting through the development of it's characters and their relation to each other, and wraps everything up with a nice little bow at the end. It also only exists because Toriyama wrote a short story about a Man and a Tank, and everything sorta sprawled from there.

There's two lessons that I think can be extracted here, the first and most visibly obvious is the art of Getting To The Good Stuff. Sandland wasn't written to become another long running series, and while it gives plenty of time to goofs and gaffs, endearing the reader to it's characters, it also noticeably cuts fat to streamline the rest of the process. This story comes at the tail end of Toriyama's mangaka career, after he's gotten all the experience of, let me just check my notes, WRITING DRAGON BALL to understand what makes an adventure story work. Some twists, especially some later reveals feel like they come out of left field, but both I and Toriyama it seems would like to ask: Who Cares? The Son of Satan himself is having a punch out with a giant evil bug man. The secret Government Conspiracy has a second, Secreter Government Conspiracy underneath it. The Tanks look cool and shoot each other a lot. Explain it however you want because that's just cool.

The second and less obvious pull has to be the political overtones of the work. This is a world where war has ravaged almost everything, where resources are hoarded by the elite, who protect their interests with violence. It's an exaggerated allegory that, frankly, is understandable by almost everyone below a certain tax bracket. I groked it pretty quick the first time I read Sandland, and while this may just be a facet of my incredibly sheltered childhood growing up, it was the first time I'd read a story so blatantly place capitalism and the systems of oppression that affected the people around me as the unquestionable villains of the story. That the response the story posits is acceptable to such villainy is 'Blow them up with tanks and your inner demon power what makes you fight good' probably had a larger effect on my psyche than I'd like to admit in writing. I'm not saying Capitalism has to be the big bad of every adventure; we have Brennan Lee Mulligan for that, but I am saying that tapping into the very real problems we face in the real world is the quickest way to get people invested in your fictional worlds. Giving your fantasy a contextual tie to relatable struggles will do half the work of selling that fantasy for you.

Sandland has an RPG and CGI Animated Movie now, neither of which I have taken the time to enjoy- both expand the original world and story slightly to better fit the needs of the two mediums, and I want to sit with my memory of the original being my only experience with the book for just a little bit longer. But I'm told they're good, and keep the spirit of Toriyama's work well, what with it beginning production before his death and, presumably, featuring some level of his participation. I whole-heartedly recommend it to anyone who's even passively enjoyed his work.

Super Sentai Series (Toei, 1975-Present)

I actually have an unfinished first draft of a post about this one specifically. Lets see if I can condense it into something more useful here so I can put off finishing the full post for a bit longer.

There two things I pull from Super Sentai when I run elf-games, and no, it's not summoning giant robots or doing over the top karate yells when I describe someone punching someone else (though, those are two very cool things that I should be doing more when I run). Super Sentai, which you'll probably recognize more from it's sister show, Power Rangers, is a live action super hero television series for young children in Japan. It features a team of 5 or so heroes in similar costumes that fight monsters (read: people in rubber suits) and features a lot of pyrotechnics and practical effects in order to keep costs down. It's goofy at it's best, and watching it as an adult is the most fun when you can point out exactly where the wires are. By the very nature of it's medium, it tries to do a lot of fantastical stuff with as real their effects budget will allow, which leads to some very interesting artistic decisions.

In Samurai Sentai Shinkenger (2009), there is a ritual that takes place every single episode. The Heroes' entrance is supported by their cadre of faceless servants, who set up banners and flags around them, revealing the team to the Monster to the sound of drums and flutes. A few words are exchanged between the opposing sides and then... The Henshin.

Symbols drawn in the air, wrapping around their bodies, their Helmets forming around them before all five snap attention to the viewer while the music swells. The Camera faces the Red Ranger head on as he introduces himself. It changes angle for every ranger after him, slightly altering the experience for what is a repetitious action as all 5 get their shot. Finally, as a whole, they pose and declare their shared goal, to go forth (and presumably stab a guy a lot). This ritual happens every episode for 52 real world weeks, give or take a movie or special crossover, and you'd think it would get boring really quickly. Super Sentai has been around long enough to know better. Just like how the original ritual shifts ever so slightly for each successive ranger in posing, phrasing, and camera angle, individual episodes purposefully play around with the make up and context of said ritual. Is it an episode where 1 character is otherwise disposed? The ritual has to continue without them, changing the pacing noticeably. One character is having a focus episode? Either they head the ritual, or the others skip it entirely so said focus character has the entire sequence to themselves. If the episode is heavy on dialogue and doesn't have the run time for the full sequence, the rangers will perform the very first steps of the ritual, cut to commercial, then return having completed it off-screen.

The importance of the ritual is in it's emotional shorthand. When it can be performed uninterrupted or abridged, its a declaration of the heroes' confidence. When it's rushed or done during a battle, it feels tense and like the outcome is uncertain. When the lead is given to someone who normally stands to the side, it's a triumphant success that signals that character's growth. Seeing how the ritual shifts and changes episode to episode is fantastic storytelling without needing to say a thing. After 5 episodes it becomes familiar. After 10 episodes, it's been lampshaded or jossed enough that it can be comedic or tragic as needed by the plot. Adding members, removing members, changing the graphics so that it's Christmas themed; the sky is the limit.

In Shinkenger, there is a part of the story where the Red ranger is replaced, as the true heir of the family he believed himself to be the head of reclaims her birthright and pushes him to the side. The remaining members, as Samurai bound to the family, struggle with the reality that their beloved leader is no longer in charge, and they have a duty to humanity to fight alongside this complete stranger. They follow her into battle and, as always, with full aplomb, perform the ritual. Everything is accurate, the posing, the phrases, the banners and flags. But the music is played in a minor key. They've skipped sections of the music. They've played a character's personal theme instead of the music. But once and ONLY once do they play the song in an off-key. The impact of this tiny change says so much about the cast and their difficulty adjusting to this new reality, and when the team fails to defeat the villain of the weak due to their struggles working as a team under this new leader, the failure feels more powerful for it. The audience could tell this wasn't going to go well, even if everyone performed the steps of the dance perfectly.

In elfgames, we have a lot of rituals that we expect and enjoy. Rolling for initiative. A Wizard casting Fireball. The all important roar of joy when someone rolls a natural 20. These are different from Rules, I must stress, though there is significant overlap. The key is to never Break a Rule but to Bend a Ritual. An interaction your player expected to go one way very clearly goes another. A description of a spell you've said multiple times before is worded just off-key enough to be noticed. A cool character moment shorthands the longer motions you normally let fully play out. Stuff like that. It needs to be used sparingly lest it lose it's impact, but when it hits... oooh, it's delicious.

There is a second thing but now that I've written this, I imagine I'll need to save it for the full blogpost I never finished lol.

Garfield (Jim Davis, 1977-Present)

Garfield wasn't made to be funny. Jim Davis, over his decades as a cartoonist, has never shied away from admitting that the formation of the Lasagna cat was an attempt to create a marketable figure, not a comedic masterpiece. There are a handful of repetitive tropes that have become staples of the character; Jon is dumb, Mondays suck, and Garfield is fat, but in that repetition comes something I find interesting. Garfield's continued success posits that the premise doesn't have to be novel, nor the punchline very good, if the audience supplies their own joke. The magic, and the devil, are in the details.

Take this strip, printed August 23 2005. Three panels, one word bubble, only 4 pieces of bespoke art as there's plenty of copy-paste editing happening here. Garfield walks in to Odie in a Situation of which there is no context. He looks up beyond the frame towards something the audience cannot see. He leaves the situation, commenting dryly, that whatever the Situation is, it has to do with the Ceiling Fan. This is not a joke. It has the scaffolding of a joke. There is a joke implied that is much funnier than what actually happens in the script, but we don't get it. The joke is left to the reader to imagine and in doing so, creates a funnier situation than Jim or his staff could ever invent. "Odie gets his ears stuck in a ceiling fan" is a Looney Tunes sight gag that wouldn't elicit a single chuckle out of a newspaper strip reader. "Garfield casually ignores whatever Looney Tunes sight gag Odie has found himself in," though? That's funny. "Garfield doesn't even bother to clue the audience in on what the sight gag is, dropping the barest of context before removing himself from the shenanigan entirely?" That's INSPIRED.

There is an old piece of advice for tabletop games that I've never seen codified into a specific quote, but still find it useful. It goes something like "When the players ask if one plot point is connected to another plot point made sessions ago, you nod and smile and let them think you a genius, even if you never even considered the connection between those points." Putting things out of sight makes the players consider what might be over there. Mentioning concepts or scenarios outside the range of the player's reach makes the world feel more alive. Leaving space for implication and imagination fill doesn't just give you a chance to rest and enjoy the game, it also leads to a better joke than you ever could have written on your own.

But wait, there's more!

There are honestly a ton of other titles I could include in a fully exhaustive list- Dragon Ball, One Piece, Homestuck. A lifetime's worth of art has slowly built me up into the author and designer I am today. Maybe someday, I'll do a follow up to this post where I separate the disparate media types into their own expanded lists... But that's a post for another day.

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

Sowing Seeds - A Minigame for Planting

2025-08-21T00:00:00Z

That's right. Sprout you little shits.

Howdy, Farmhands!

A bit of Gadda History before we begin:

As previously mentioned on this blog, 2020 was the year I finally bit the bullet and got into Dungeons and Dragons Fifth Edition. I had been listening to the Adventure Zone Podcast since 2018, and with all of my social events canceled due to The Pandemic, I wanted a hobby I could enjoy with my roommates and online friends. This honeymoon period lasted maybe 4 months until I actually ran Lost Mines of Phandelver, and I immediately turned into a contrarian sicko with a hate for WOTC. Thus began the era of Poasting.

I was a piece of shit on Twitter. I had yet to learn the difference between being rewarded for my intelligent opinions and being rewarded for simply being witty enough to be picked up by the rage machine. But during this time, I spent a good portion of my clout seeking sending out game design thoughts, as if to somehow validate my existence as an angry voice on the internet. Some of those ideas are actually... not bad? Now that I'm looking at them with a significantly clearer head I can see some winners in there. One of my earliest fascinations was with the many things one could do with the humble d6. To that end, I put forward a series of Mini-game like procedures for condensing larger activities into something you do in--between sessions or perhaps as sort of a Mario Party-like grab bag of events. Finally, this bring us to the point of today's blog; I don't have anything better to post, so sure, I'll regurgitate one of those.

SOWING SEEDS

A Minigame for Planting

The original Tweet Thread went as follows:

"Planting d6 minigame where you attempt to cultivate seedlings??? Roll a d6, that's your seed. 1 being a dud and 6 being great! You can choose to roll a second d6 to nurse it to better health, but rolling under the seedlings number OR surpassing a total of 8 means you ruined it? So like, its super easy to upgrade a 1, but more risky the higher the base value it This would tie in to some kind of produce grading system where a top tier plant eventually yields good harvest. I'd probably have 1 die count as a field of ground crops but have each fruit tree get planted and rated individually. Needs some tweaking to really make it work. Maybe some sort of ritual of preparing the ground and watering it to add bonuses to the initial roll"

This is a fine start, but lacks anything solid enough to build a procedure around. Let's start draft 2 by making this a form of Downtime Action, i.e. the time between adventures. Rolling 1d6 for your initial Seed quality is still great, as is choosing to roll a second d6 to nurture it to better health. I believe rolling Under your Seedling's current number might be too harsh; these Downtimes only come every so often. Let's keep the threshhold of failure going over 8, but introduce a degradation mechanic. For every Adventure between Downtimes, roll 1d6 and subtract that value from the Seed's quality. If a Seed remain less than 1 at the end of a downtime, the crop has failed to thrive. This gives players a chance to fix the problem before everything goes completely tits up, as well as incentivizes the initial planting being as high a value as possible before they carry on with their adventuring.

What's the point of this, though? In the original tweet thread, I vaguely hand wave at a scoring system where this process would net you better/more crops from a single seed.

1-2: Poor Quality. You've managed to grow Crop equal to the amount of Seed you started with, but it was hardly worth the effort.

3-4: Fair Quality. You've grown double the Crop per seed, and it's good enough that you'd eat it!

5-6: Great Quality. You've tripled your investment, and 1/3rd of it came out looking better than the average Veg.

7-8: Blue Ribbon. The same as Great Quality, however, 1 piece of Veg came out looking larger, juicier, and tastier than all the others. You might even win an award for it... if you weren't planning on selling it for four times the initial Seed's value.

Further Thoughts:

Time is always a factor in farming, and I want to make use of it. I have no interest in making a formal list right now (maybe later), but different crops requiring 1-3 Downtime Actions to be ready for harvest sounds about right. The 3 Action Crops would require a significant amount of reward for successfully growing them, and with 3 Degradations to contend with, would NOT be simple to produce.

Mid-level play with Hirelings would immediately muddy the waters. This Mini-game as written assumes there's 1 plot of land for 1 player to maintain, but once the party can just Hire A Guy to do things for them, the urge to set them to work in the fields will be strong. My immediate thought is to still require the player to perform the game as written; but hirelings assigned to the fields increases the number of crops that can be planted at once, 1 per hireling, as opposed to making the NPC do all the work offscreen.

I've previously written this d50 table for generating fantastical produce, and included links to other great blogs on the topic of fantasy food and cooking! Give it a read!

This post and others like it are made possible by members of my Patreon, where you can see Game WIPs and Previews of future blogposts a week early! Thank you in particular to SethChris93 for your continued support!

We're Having A Heatwave!

2025-08-01T00:00:00Z

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Howdy, Farmhands.

I am so sick and fucking tired of living in unprecedented times. This is bullshit. Everyone hoarded the precedented times before I was born and now we're stuck with whatever the fuck all this is. Apparently, the EPA is trying to claim greenhouse gasses actually aren't bad for anyone. Fuck everything.

It's Hot. Too hot. Too hot to even think. Do you wanna know how many showers I've taken just to shed some heat? Stop thinking about me showering, that's weird. It's so fucking hot. It's 98 degrees Fahrenheit outside, as it has been all week. It is 80 degrees Fahrenheit inside, as it's been all week. "Gadda, surely you just need to get someone out to take a look at your aircon, shouldn't you get a good 20 degrees of relief?" We did. We called a guy who came out and looked at our aircon and said to our faces, "I'm not even going to charge you the 300 bucks I should for the appointment because there's nothing I can do for you. Your house is just too old to retain it's temperature and you've got a tin fucking roof."

Ok so maybe he didn't say fucking. Maybe I added that to spice up the story a little bit. Give me an Aircon guy who says Fuck. God I'm so hot I can't even pretend to be interesting. It turns out, that in order to be a creative and functioning individual, first your physical needs must be met. Isn't that bullshit? You mean to tell me that My Creative Output relies on first being relatively satisfied with my material existence and only then can I expend the energy for Other Things? I want to write the sun a sternly worded letter, complaining that it's preventing me from writing my blog, but I firmly believe the paper would ignite the moment it was touched by the light of day.

There are a couple of solutions to this problem. The first option is I get a gun and pop a cap in that blustering gas-ball's ass. The second is I move because wow guess I'm a climate change refugee. (God I shouldn't have left Maine i'm told it's Not Bad this time of year now.) The third is that I just sit down here and do what I'm doing which is typing out nonsense so I can express my emotions about how Ball Blisteringly HOT IT IS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

FUCK.

Until next time,

Farmer Gadda

Holes-Posting - I Find An Excuse to Talk About Digimon World 3

2025-07-16T00:00:00Z

Bearmon is my partner Digimon, btw. The Pikachu to my Ash

Howdy, Farmhands!

Digimon World 3 for the original Playstation is one of my favorite childhood games. It's premise and mechanics are incredibly simple, being a Licensed turn-based RPG of a franchise where pointing at the screen and saying in child-like wonder, "That's the guy from the anime" was all it needed to be. The "combat" features 3d models flopping around while special effects relating to the action you chose plays over them to disguise that each model only has 1 or 2 animations. It's game balance is entirely out of whack. The OST is alright, but nowhere near as good as half of the playstation's heavier hitters. Don't even get me started on the writing. Badly paced, barely playtested, and shipped out early to fill a Christmas release... and yet it's one of my favorites? Bad taste aside, what is it that endears me to this shitty little game?

It's got some baller isometric environment design, mostly.

I'm going to regret hosting this image natively on my webserver
but it needs to survive the rot of digital society at full res, so sayeth the Farmer

The world of the in-universe full dive MMORPG called "Digimon Online" is filled to the brim with pre-rendered isometric environments that make use of it's premise incredibly well. The spaces you run around aren't "real" nor do they need to make sense. Grass has circuit board lines imprinted in the fields. Machinery grows from the ground like trees. Buildings are made of computer parts, sized for giants and populated by regular folk. Every step comes with another burst of fantastical world building. Digimon World 3 isn't afraid to front load it's best ideas in it's starting areas, but not all of them are accessible. Throughout these world, the player will stumble upon areas that are visible, but out of reach. Tunnel exits with no obvious entrance gate off the lower half of the starting City. Most bodies of water have one or two dock-like platforms that appear to have no purpose, and strange holes in the ground mark the land. In the very early game, these areas blend in to the other wild visual clutter scattered around, making them intriguing but dismissable elements of the areas you run through.

This changes about a 1/3rd into the game's story, where plot reasons requires the player make their way to a landmass across an ocean. The player is told that access can be acquired if they seek out the Mystical Artifact known as the Digimental of Sincerity, with only the barest hint as to where it's hidden. Which they do, because the next section of the game is gated off until it's done and one fetch quest later-

Now he can call Submarimon and cross the Ocean.

This is where the game gets clever, because players of JRPGs are used to this sort of thing. You get a boat, which expands your options for overland travel, which leads you to new areas and the game continues. The player quickly finds their nearest Dock-like Platform, uses the Digimental to summon Submarimon and-

-cross the... ocean...

This is not Fast Travel. This is a shortcut; but one the Player must traverse in order to skip distances of overland travel, with the same encounter and combat mechanic as on dry land, through a maze of underwater paths that crisscross the entire game. Some Docks only connect to 1 other Dock. Some have multiple exit points. Suddenly, every area you've passed through until now, and every area you encounter next, has an additional dimension to travel through, hidden away areas or blocked off passages becoming accessible, if the Player dares dive into the mini-dungeons that connect them. Once you know where the connections are, traveling between them is technically faster that going overland... but are they worth the risk?

It is possible to get a Game Over in these shortcuts. The system for saving your game involves speaking with an NPC at an Inn, and those don't appear anywhere underwater. The pathways are easy to get lost in, as remembering which exit brings you to a specific spot in the overworld can get confusing fast. It's a new kind of risk, but not an insurmountable one.

Closer towards the end of the game, maybe a little about the halfway point, the plot expands to reveal the evil organizations plot to use Digimon World Online to commit real world terrorism (as you do). The Player is a known antagonist to their plans, leading the organization to purposefully operate from within areas yet inaccessible to them. To chase them down and halt their schemes, the Player is prompted to seek out the Mystical Artifact known as the Digimental of Knowledge, with only the barest hint as to where it's hidden. Which they do, because the next section of the game is gated off until it's done and one fetch quest later-

I couldn't find an image with the textbox, but I imagine
it reads "Now I can call Digmon and dig tunnels!"

This is where the game decides it wants to continue being clever, despite already throwing the Player for a loop with it's previous "Fast Travel" option. The player quickly finds their nearest suspicious Hole in the ground, uses the Digimental to summon Digmon and-

-ok what the fuck, man

Digimon World 3 is proud to pretend to be a computer game. It's aesthetic and level design lean heavily into the concept of a world within a machine, and nowhere is it more blatant than this, the Network Interstice. This connection of tunnels between sheets of giant circuitry is, textually, not just digging under the ground to pop up somewhere else in the overworld - It takes you beneath the very code of the world and allows you to travel to servers operating in another geographical location. That's right, the entire late stage of the game takes place in a second copy of the main world map, as you leave the space made for Japanese players and head for America. (The specific countries are left unnamed, but c'mon. You end up beaming yourself aboard a space rocket with giant lasers onboard, it's got to be America's shit.) Where the Underwater traversal was a series of connected hallways with a few doors to lose track of, the Circuit Board is a sprawling maze, potentially capable of popping you out into one of two dimensions. The same rules with Combat and the chance of a Game Over apply.

So what does any of this have to do with TTRPGs?

I firmly believe that any media, in any medium, can have a lesson to learn for the betterment of running TTRPGs. Ours is a hobby of imagination, after all, and imagination needs fuel from outside itself to properly run. What do I think we can learn from Digimon World 3 and it's holes? Perhaps, something like, "Do not Overcomplicate your worldbuilding. Take something small, established early, and reframe it's use. It will appear as though you are a master at foreshadowing." Maybe, if I'm feeling spicy, it would be, "Do not offer Skips, offer Shortcuts, with unique challenges to offset immediate benefits. Make the choice to avoid a portion of the Game a proper Choice to make."

Or maybe, just maybe, the lesson here today is, "Gadda likes Digimon World 3 and saw the chance to blog about it a little."

- Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

Can't Miss Merchant Stalls

2025-07-04T00:00:00Z

Howdy, Farmhands!

There's nothing quite like shopping in a TTRPG. Unburdened by the logistics of transporting goods or price fluctuations as the economy burns down around you, spending a session or downtime hitting the medieval fantasy mall is as much a power fantasy as casting a spell or punching a guy real good. Better bloggers than I have written at length about the mathematics and sociology of partaking in fictional capitalism, so I'm not even going to bother. Instead, I bring unto you a d20 table of details your players will notice when they approach the next merchant with wares to hock. Maybe the staff is unfriendly, and the goods on the shelf less than ideal, but goddamn if they won't remember their time spent here.

Until Next time,

Farmer Gadda

What's Neat About This Merchant Stall?
1	Wacky-Wavy Inflatable Tube Man
2	Sign Spinner, paid minimum wage
3	Textboard Feud with the business across the street
4	Fursuit Mascot offering Pictures
5	Gigantic Bronze effigy of a Beaver
6	Partnering with Kid Scout Cookies
7	Bright neon signage, mistaken for the moon
8	A large Bell that is rung every hour on the hour
9	Novelty Windmill
10	A Roadside Billboard
11	A full Brass Band
12	They're firing T-shirt Cannons at Passersby
13	They've hired an Aircraft to fly around with a banner saying "Shop At x"
14	Blinking Neon Lights
15	"Now with Indoor Plumbing!"
16	It's Happy Hour
17	Brand new Car in the Display Window
18	Offering Free Pony Rides
19	Buy 1, Get 2 Golfballs
20	Contract with the Mafia. You better not shop anywhere else.

This post and others like it are made possible by members of my Patreon, where you can see Game WIPs and Previews of future blogposts a week early! Thank you in particular to Serket for your continued support!

Hey Folks! - An Appreciation of R. R. Slugger

2025-07-01T00:00:00Z

You will listen to this man's jaunty jingle and you will like it.

Howdy, Farmhands!

The youtube algorithm is a fickle creature. It prioritizes hate clicks and clickbait to populate it's suggestions, choosing the worst of the worst content to promote while other, calmer content gets filtered to the bottom of it's reccomendations list. But sometimes, only sometimes, it chooses to present something magical to you. Three years ago, I was offered a video on a topic I'm actually interested in; the upcoming retirement of a specific color in the palette of LEGO bricks. What I thought I was about to watch was an angry rant detailing the bare minimum details about a corporate decision that would barely effect me and mine. What I found was a measured, talented voice that made me care as much as he did. What I found was R. R. Slugger.

R. R. Slugger is a man of many talents. While his focus is always on the LEGO bricks he's discussing, it is immediately apparent that he has spent time on other artistic hobbies, as his videos are full of bespoke music tracks, high quality photography, and even extended stop motion animation. His scripts are clear and concise, belying a history with writing (possibly in academic circles?) and anyone who can and will spend time discussing the full legal name and serial number of any given LEGO piece in a set deserves a gold star for doing their research. This is a man who has learned and improved many talents over time, and chooses to use those strengths to improve the quality of his creative output. His videos are at once visually and audibly entertaining, while remaining downright educational for their content. I'm not exaggerating when I say that more hobby content on youtube should take a page from this guy's book.

Almost more important than his quality of video production, though, is his genuine joy when speaking about the subject matter he's chosen. Slugger loves LEGO. Slugger loves talking about LEGO. Slugger loves that he loves LEGO. He has no delusions that he's not a silly little man talking about a children's toy on the internet, but he seems to find genuine joy in his enjoyment. That joy is infectious. Listen to this duo of youtubers, one seeing his channel for the first time, shift from amusement to genuine interest the longer they watch Slugger's video on a singular LEGO Mould from 2002. Neither of them have any skin in the game, but his sincerity and thorough discussion audibly convert them into believers within 10 minutes. Vintage LEGO collectors who keep up with the man can pinpoint moments in time where a video of his discussing a previously less than adored LEGO set leads to an uptick in sales of that set, to the point where his fans joke about collecting other unsung LEGO themes before he gets around to covering them, if only for the sake of their wallet.

But just as Slugger has combined his background in photography and music into producing the best LEGO videos he can, he's also not afraid to branch out from LEGO. Alongside his main channel, which retains it's focus on bricks, he's also started a pair of sister channels, Slugscape and Sluggin' Around. The first takes his existing video formula and applies it to another of his loves, Heroscape, while the second is a catch all for video blogging about topics that don't apply to either of the previous two channels. For a main channel video, he composed a cover of a niche television show intro that never saw an official instrumental or sheet music release, which he then turned into a 10 minute discussion on music theory for his Sluggin' Around channel.

At this point in the blog, I'm sure you're wondering if I'm here simply to gush over this one youtuber who makes LEGO videos. And the answer is yes, but also no. Slugger's work is impressive, and anyone with even a passing fancy for LEGO bricks should give his stuff a shot, but on more broadly, I think Slugger is a shining example of something we're lacking in today's online spaces. This is a man who knows his creative strengths, and has applied them to the act of creation for the sole purpose of sharing something he genuinely loves with the world. Without irony, without exaggeration, and without cynicism, his videos present something he adores, thoroughly explains what he likes about it, and offers his audience a chance to fall in love with it too. His coverage of a product for sale by a corporate entity is never meant to convince you to buy, nor does he choose his topics for their profitability; he simply has an appreciation that he refuses to contain. That, above anything else, is admirable and something we all should aspire to. This blog is simply me putting my money where my mouth is. I love R.R. Slugger's work. I love his music, I love his videos, I love his LEGO builds, and I love his Joy.

At the time of posting, the 3rd Annual "Summer of Slug" event has begun; a two-month-long stretch where Slugger takes a break from his dayjob in education to focus solely on video production. To offset costs, he's opened his Patreon, which funds the event and also offers the perk of access to his behind the scenes discord server, which is poppin' all year round. Even if you are uninterested in monetarily supporting him this year, the Summer of Slug is the best time to start watching his videos, as the nichest of content and oddest of topics get covered during this time. Please check his work out, and tell him Farmer Gadda sent you.

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

Does Setting Matter?

2025-06-27T00:00:00Z

oh ok, post over then

Howdy, Farmhands!

For those of you who are fortunate enough to have avoided my ramblings on social media, may God continue to bless you and yours with sweet ignorance. Today's blogpost will have to temporarily expose you to TTRPG Discourse of the Bluesky variety, I'm afraid. I know, I know, you presumably choose to read blogs to avoid using such distasteful websites. There's still time to click off and go read something else. This preamble is mostly dragging out time for you to make your escape.

Not terribly long ago, an individual made a series of Skeets (yes, we call them Skeets) about their experience bouncing off of some OSR products. Assuming you're not reading this in some far off future where said service has completely gone dark (which could be as soon as June, the way online services work in the year of our Lord, 2025) here's a link to said thread. This isn't a sub-post in the slightest, by the way, ACoupleOfDrakes is completely within their right to 1. Dislike a product, trend, or genre and 2. Skeet About It As They Will. The sentiment simply became a hot topic for all of five minutes among people term searching the phrase "OSR," and as such, many of us felt the need to post our Opinions. Naturally, I chimed in so I could feel like a special little boy for an hour.

To DRASTICALLY paraphrase ACoupleOfDrakes' words to quickly establish What my opinions are in reaction to, here's the key statements that caught my attention.

One of the things that keeps me from becoming an OSR guy is how few of the worlds presented seem like a place I'd like to spend time exploring.

There are notable exceptions....(source)

...I think the thing that makes me most interested in an OSR setting is its ratio of wonder to believability....(source)

...There are a lot of gonzo for the sake of gonzo settings that lose me because I can't imagine what you're supposed to /do/ there.... (source)

...Trying to put into words what divides the things that I like versus the things that I don't in the OSR space and only coming up with a Calvin and Hobbes meme about "OSR that's Maps" and "OSR that's Questions." (source)

1. No.

I don't personally believe OSR as a genre needs a ton of cohesive settings, nor that picking out a pre-made setting guide is a necessary step in having an OSR-y experience. There's just something about a self-aware DIY elfgame that's charming all on it's own, y'know? You get your combat rules and your equipment lists and that's kind of all the System needs to do. Half the point of an Old School Game is coming up with your own bespoke fantasy land cobbled together from whatever interests you and your table. You probably have an idea of Where you want to adventure anyway, and you'll purposefully pick modules and beasties that fit that vague impression you have in your mind. The turn to emergent settings being made during play that you see frequently these days (Questions instead of Maps) makes a lot of sense.

Sure, theres people wanting their Greyhawks and their Spelljammers and whatnot, but a large swathe of OSR systems are either compatible with those older works out the gate or stupid easy to convert. Any setting with a travel system worth a damn is basically already an unofficial osr setting, as far as I'm concerned. Get Neverland by Andrew Kolb. I don't care that it's statted for 5e. You can do basic math conversions probably. Make everything a Bear.

2. But Actually, Yes.

And I'm going to immediately go back on what I Just Said. Remember those charming, self-aware DIY elfgames? A large chunk of "The Setting" is found in what exactly the author puts in the basic rules and equipment lists. If a system features Swords and Spears, the implication inherent in the text is that your game will take place in a world where such weapons are reasonable to have around. Imagine one includes Laser Pistols and Bags of Doritos in the list of gear to buy at character creation - Suddenly, your gaming experience is distinct from most others. This comparison is a little exaggerated for effect, but you get what I mean, right? A system with simple access to Magic Spells implies a different world to one with none at all. The choice to include or exclude options is as much a world-building exercise as it is an editorial one. In this manner, there isn't a single OSR game out there that is truly without it's own Setting, even if the Author never names it. You can blur your eyes and come up with some Proper Nouns for Places that would have that shit in it. You're a smart cookie.

3. -Well, Now That I Think Of It, Only Maybe?

What I think individuals are ACTUALLY looking for when they go shopping for the perfect setting is a sense of verisimilitude, a through-line of tone from which their idealized fantasy can be extrapolated. In a previous post, I discussed a series of Pamphlets by Seba G.M., which use a Tri-fold to succinctly offer guidelines and mechanics for running Forgotten Realms and Ravenloft using the Knave system. These are purposefully mere snippets of the full setting guides one can find for these worlds, but in their brevity, I still find the flavor I'm looking for to run a game within them. The mechanics they add or change are adjusted so as to create a feeling at the table, instead of just giving you a list of locations and names to memorize. I could look at one of the many grimdark fantasy settings released over the decades, only to find what I desire is closer to the free zine-size booklet version of Mork Borg. I could decide the exact reverse too! I don't need to invest in becoming a Greyhawk Scholar, but if my personal ideal of a Grimdark setting requires that deep an understanding, it might be to my taste.

All of this is to say, I suppose, that one of my favorite elements of The OSR is the freedom to pick and choose what is necessary for Your Game. Not All games, not The game, just Your game.

4. So, No. lol

Until Next Time,

- Farmer Gadda

looking for a new OSR setting
ask exalted funeral if the setting is maps or questions
they laugh and say it's a good setting

buy the setting

it's maps

- Ty, Mindstorm Press (source)

Things On My Grocery List

2025-06-20T00:00:00Z

Don't you Wanna go Apeshit?

Howdy, Farmhands!

Have you ever heard of "Free Will?"

I make these d20 lists while I'm bored at work, believe it or not. They're a quick and simple way to pass the time, and they technically double as prep for future blog posts, though I try to space out the release of them to be between Actual Blogs so I don't make a name for myself as "A Much Shittier Ktrey". It was during one of these sessions that it occurred to me how one could make a list out of anything and, with a proper trigger, be bound to the result on that list. The sudden euphoria of witnessing all creation unfold before me hit like a truck and I immediately made the choice to just... blog out my grocery list one day. Like no joke, this is what was on my phone to pick up during my next Aldi run. And now it's yours.

When should you roll on this list? Honestly, whenever you don't have another list handy. Forget to come up with a list of "Stuff the Bandits Want?" Roll on this list. Neglected to put loot in tonight's dungeon and can't find your treasure tables? Roll on this list. Does the new NPC need a catchphrase to endear themselves to the party? Don't look now but I think there's a list right below this paragraph for that exact purpose. You can thank me later.

Until Next Time,

- Farmer Gadda

Things On My Grocery List
1	Tinfoil
2	Eggs
3	Almond Milk
4	Frozen Pizzas (Stuffed Crust)
5	Peanut Butter
6	Water Softener Salt
7	French Vanilla Coffee Creaqmer
8	Cranberry Ginger Ale
9	Kitchen Sponges
10	Memory Gel Shoe Inserts
11	RGB TV Cable
12	Christmas Tree Scent-sicles
13	USB Charging Cable
14	Yeast Rolls
15	Korean Corn Dogs
16	Seasonal Candle (NOT Apple)
17	Dry Cat Food
18	Sports Drink (Blue Flavor)
19	Ground Turkey
20	Broccoli

Kludgebuckets - Customizable Vehicles for the Sanic Hack

2025-05-30T00:00:00Z

You wish your ride was this cool - (Source)

This post is part of a series of Blogs where I work on my home-ruleset, 'The Sanic Hack.' You may or may not gain better comprehension from reading the other posts in this series.

PREV/NEXT

kludge: something, especially computer hardware or software, that has been put together from whatever is available, especially when it does not work very well

rustbucket: An old, neglected vehicle, usually a car, a freighter, or a truck.

Ergo; They're called Kludgebuckets.

"Kludgebucket" is the colloquial term for any non-standard watercraft cobbled together by an enterprising Islander. While capable of functioning as transportation, they act as more of a home-base for their crew, and are iterated upon over multiple voyages. It isn't surprising to see a Kludgebucket with multiple pieces of completely unrelated vehicles; land, air, or sea, stapled in varying configurations, with radio transmitters, gatling guns, and even multiple vending machines installed.

Kludgebuckets are managed via a Grid System, similar to Mausritter Item Card Inventory Management. (For the purposes of this blog post, we are going to assume a specific size for these grids, but know that I'm writing this with no balance testing whatsoever. Let's say they're 4 by 4 to start and we'll revisit the specifics later.) To facilitate this, I will be introducing a new card type- Normally, cards come in 1 Slot or 2 Slot sizes, with the latter being for Bulky objects. For Kludgebucket Core Parts, new 2 by 2 cards are to be added, taking up the same space as 4 single slot cards. These cards are intended for overly large items; Chassis, Wings, A tree house uprooted WITH the tree, etc. While a character COULD carry one of these in their regular inventory, they're intended to be Kludged onto their bucket. However, if a player wants to spend 4 whole inventory slots to equip the cab of a bus as a battering ram, I'm not going to stop them.

Core Parts are labeled with Stars, ranging from 1 to 3. These Stars are an approximation of size and buoyancy, but are mostly there to estimate the number of crew it can safely keep afloat. 1 Star can hold 2 to 3 people before capsizing, doubling to 6-ish at 2 Stars and 12-or-so at 3 Stars. A Ski-doo, for example, would be a 1 Star Core Part, while a School Bus would be 3 Stars. Anything larger would arguably no longer be a Kludgebucket, but rather a regular sailing ship with some weird stuff tacked on. For every Star added by a Core Part, there must be Propulsion and Power of an equivalent Star. That Ski-doo's Whirly-gig Copter Blades (Propulsion, 1 Star) could be powered by a single set of Foot Paddles (Power,1 Star) for example, but you'd need at 3 times as many of both to move that 3 Star School Bus. Conversely, multiple parts of lower Star value could be used to power a single Propulsion part, as long as their values align.

Auxiliary parts, like radio transceivers, sonar or fuzzy dice, are regular sized item cards with the 1 x 2 Bulky cards used for valuable machinery. These are installed around the core parts, where the Kludgebucket's grid will allow. Any free space can hold any item, instead of having a dedicated hold.

Core and Auxillary Parts are meant to be found as rewards for Quests or by scavenging wrecked Buckets found as you travel. Similar to Fits, a DM should only need to invent a handful of Thematic options based on the Island they've prepared, the players will pursue what interests them.

Star Rank	Core	Propulsion	Power
☆	Canoe	Paddle Wheel (Small)	Foot Paddles
☆	Jet Ski	Whirly-gig	Oars
☆	Motorcycle	Cloth Sail and a Fan	Large Hamster Wheel
☆☆	Smart Car	Airplane Wings	Steam Engine
☆☆	Tugboat	Single Turbin	Magnets
☆☆	Tree House (w/Tree)	Sea Creature (Tamed?)	Carrot on a String (For Sea Creature)
☆☆☆	Submarine	Rocket Jets	Gasoline Engine
☆☆☆	School Bus	Paddle Wheels (Large)	Coal Furnace
☆☆☆	Blimp Cab	Hot Air Baloon	Cola and Mentos

Jaw-Break Shore

2025-05-30T00:00:00Z

Jaw-Break Shore (0706)

A Hex for Prismatic Wasteland's
Merry Hexmas Blog Bandwagon

Warning: This Post is a WIP, and will be updated as surrounding Hexes are filled in by other participants in this project!

A stony, barren shoreline at the edge of the Swirly Twirly Sea. The weather is permanently somber and overcast; slightly too cold to be enjoyable, slightly too warm for any snowfall to stick. The sugar that washes ashore crystalizes into delicious balls of candy, coated in a rocky shell. It's difficult to determine what's a jawbreaker and what's just gravel.

Adjacent Hexes

North: 0705 - The Rime Ridge

North-East : 0805 - Eostre Fields

South-East: 0806 - TBD

South: 0707 - TBD

South-West: 0606 - Swirly Twirly Sea

North-West: 0605 - Swirly Twirly Sea

Encounters

1d6

1 : A Giant Ant-Lion (Stat as Bear) rests at the center of a 30 foot wide gravel pit, waiting to consume any creature that falls down into it's maw. Each turn a PC spends inside the pit, they must make a DEX saving throw or be moved 10 ft closer to the center against their will. Any use of magical fire will begin to melt the hidden jawbreakers amongst the stone, sealing the creature inside a cooling shell of candy.

2 : A beached gumdrop ice-berg. 2d6 Seagulls, dyed vibrant colors from their diet, swarm to carve sustenance from the gloop. If approached, they will become violent and attempt to chase the party away from their prize. (1 in 6 chance it's hallucenigenic and the birds are high as balls)

3 : 1d2 Defectors, Rabbitfolk (Stat as Soldiers) attempting to escape the civil war to the east. 50% chance of being either from Irontail or Cottontail forces. Are traveling with documents that detail potential secret tunnels into their respective side's primary fortress, in the hopes they can barter for their safety should they be found by the enemy. They will give the clothes off their backs if the party can grant them safe passage on a vessel out into the Swirly-Twirly sea.

4 : 2d4+1 Feathered Fiends (Stat as Wolves) Vulture-like creatures, with bare necks and heads and oily black feathers. Aggressive if eye contact is made. There is a 1 in 10 chance of the ringleader being capable of speech, who will share that they're really here because they like the shores' dreary vibes more than actually wanting anything.

5 : A trio of Elves, Toddy, Toady, and Ted, scheme methods of convincing the Molefolk miners away from their Quarry, intent on taking it for themselves. Their plans range from silly (disguising themselves as leprechauns looking to sell their gold mine) to the outright loony (pretending to be a band of roving Donkey Polishers.) Toady is the smart one. Ted is the dumb one. Toddy is the greedy one, and the only reason the other two are doing any of this. They are just as likely to try to swindle the party as they are to ask for help swindling the Moles. They don't want to sell the Motherload as the Moles do, instead wishing to eat it once it's uncovered.

6 : A gnarled tree with a knot like a screaming face, and one branch outstretched like a grasping hand. If encountered twice, the tree is clearly not in the same place the party last enountered it, but otherwise immobile. Any magic Item placed into it's grip will be drained and rendered inert, but return the Winter Wizard to human form. He was once the Witch-King in Blue, eons before Santa arrived, and seeks to reclaim his throne. He despises Christmas and anything Jolly. Stat as Arch-Mage and give a bunch of Ice spells.

Locations

Sugar Geode "Mine"

More a hole in the ground than a proper mine. A Quarry, at best. Worked by a trio of Molefolk who toil all day to fill their minecarts with delectable chunks of stone that, when cracked open, reveal layers of colorful candy, the flavor of which changes as you suck. Unfortunately it's a toss up determining what's candy and what's just rock, (3 in 6 chance of it being edible)

The Molefolk firmly believe that there is a large deposit of sugar at the bottom of this hole, compressed over years into a single, massive Sugar Geode. This Motherlode is their primary reason for digging, though the loose gravel around them seems to refill the hole as quickly as they can dig. Any attempt to streamline the efficiency of their production will win the party a promise of shared profits once the chunk is obtained and sold. (After one in-game week, notice will be sent out that 1-2: The new system has actually made things worse, and the Molefolk are demanding the party return to try something else, 3-5: Their productivity is up, and they'll surely find the Motherlode any day now; they'll send another letter in a week, 6: They've successfully extracted a large sugar chunk, and have enclosed 1,225 gold pieces for the party.)

Dream Circus

A large, green and red striped tent surrounded by festive balloons and covered in tinsel. A large crowd of folk from across the Pole have gathered to watch the show in the three rings below the stands. The performances in the rings feature exotic creatures and stunts unlike anything the party has ever seen, and each act claims to be performing for "One Night Only." The party can locate any previously met NPC from any other Hex within the crowd, though they can never seem to reach them, should they try.

The Ringmaster is an androgynous child dressed in deep purple furs and an oversized, twin tailed jester hat, accompanied by a swarm of twinkling sugarplum fairies. Gravity appears to be a mere suggestion to them, and they flit about the tent while juggling a collection of round ornaments in festive colors. They will call for members of the audience to join in the performance; should the party do so, encourage the players to come up with an act, and ask for a few skill checks. Regardless of the results, the audience will cheer, and the Ringmaster will award them one of the baubles they juggle.

ITEM: Christmas Memoria - A glass bauble of red, gold, or white, decorated in gold. Once a day, a memory or dream of the night previous may be inscribed inside, appearing as a faint glowing light if inspected closely. The memory can be replayed to an individual holding the bauble and closing their eyes, as if it were their own, or to a large group by destroying the bauble. Once destroyed, the Memoria cannot be fixed.

Should the players incite violence against the performers or audience, complete a performance and gain a bauble, or entertain the notion that this circus is a dream, the party will wake up unharmed in the middle of a jawbreaker gravel pit, with the circus nowhere to be seen.

Ways to Reach the Circus

After encountering it once in this hex, the Dreamscape of the circus is accessible by any who slumber in the Pole, though the method of doing so purposefully is unknown. Should the party wish to return, either for another Memoria, or to speak with the Ringmaster, they will need magical help of one form or another. Perhaps a strong enough wish would do?

How Tricked Out Is this Ride?

2025-05-09T00:00:00Z

Oh boys~

This post and others like it are made possible by members of my Patreon, where you can see Game WIPs and Previews of future blogposts a week early! Thank you in particular to Nebula Bash for your continued support!

Howdy, Farmhands!

Among the many ways I "failed" at traditional masculinity as a child, (as much as any one can do so, mind. Gender roles are bullshit!) I never became A Car Guy. While many a youth saw the wheels and hubcaps and fenders and was overcome with a desire to get behind the wheel, I couldn't really care less. I consider motor vehicles to be not unlike horses. Mysterious creatures I am to respect from afar, but never understand. The primary difference is that a car isn't born with hatred in it's heart.

Vehicles feature in TTRPGS sometimes. That's the segue I'm going with here, just accept it. Vehicles feature in TTRPGS sometimes, so here's a D20 list to roll on whenever one appears to make it distinctive. Maybe your players will think the extra pizazz makes it desireable enough to purchase or heist? Maybe the vehicle isn't even one you'd expect it to be! Your Packmule is a vehicle of sorts! Those Eagles Gandalf called were technically "A Ride." Imagine if they'd rolled up with (rolls on the below table) A Bike Rack. One does not simply Mountain Bike their way into Mordor.

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

How Tricked Out is this Ride?
1	The Horn plays 'La Cucaracha'
2	Pair of Fuzzy Dice hangs from somewhere
3	There's a Luau Bobble Head
4	A Wizard has been Spray Painted on the side
5	Carpeted (Shag)
6	Bull Horns as a Hood Ornament
7	It's a Convertible
8	There's a DVD Player in the Backseat
9	Lifted Suspension (for compensating)
10	A Bike Rack
11	Political Bumper Sticker
12	Theme park Annual Pass Magnet
13	Rainbow Underglow
14	Ultra Violet High Beam Head Lights
15	Comedically Large Race Car Spoiler
16	Lambo Doors (they open UP)
17	Chromed Rims
18	Tinted Windows
19	A button labeled "NITRO."
20	Truck Nuts

Of Dice and Men - Opinions about Rolling in OSR Games

2025-05-02T00:00:00Z

Well? They ain't gonna roll themselves. - (Source, no affiliation)

This post and others like it are made possible by members of my Patreon, where you can see Game WIPs and Previews of future blogposts a week early!
Thank you in particular to Backyard Critter for your continued support!

Howdy, Farmhands.

I am a newcomer to NSR/POSR game design. I spent the majority of the early 2020's being staunchly and loudly against anything even slightly resembling an elfgame! For all intents and purposes, I "don't go here." Being new to a community slash movement slash corpse that's been fractured into multiple sub-branches of design for about as long as it's exiswted means that I have a lot to catch up on. A barrier I keep bumping into is how much of the OSR's Wisdom is shared in maxims.

Maybe you've heard a couple. "Just Use Bears." That's a fun one. "Combat is a Fail-State" I see a lot of discussion that ends once that puppy gets thrown in the ring. Neat one or two sentence phrases that are repeated both as a symbol of belonging between two members of the same in-group, and admonishment for anyone who strays too far from the perceived ideal path. Once upon a time, grand discourses were held in which specific topics were chewed upon at length and eventually required a short-hand to quickly express the longer nuance that nobody had time to keep repeating. That nuance has long been lost, leaving behind a quick and witty one-liner, ripe for misinterpretation and argument.

(As I understand it, the early OSR began primarily as a reactionary movement; most of those maxims not only represented the nuance of the conclusions those great luminaries came to in their grand halls of debate, but also the unspoken existing play styles or mechanics they were reacting to in the first place. That's a whole separate blog post from someone more knowledgeable than me, so I digress.)

With this loss of nuance comes the particular thing I'm pissed off about today - The inaccurate assumption that OSR games don't want players to roll dice. (It's in bold so that people who are skimming past the introductory paragraphs can find my thesis statement easier, hello to those people) It's not difficult for me to understand where the assumption comes from. One of the old maxims I've been taught by my OSR elders reads, "Dice can fail, Good plans don't roll," after all. There is a heavy focus on finding ways outside of rolling against a stat to solve problems, usually with things like "Player Ingenuity" or "Role Playing, not Roll Playing." Maxims within Maxims. Maxims all the way down. OSR games, on the average, would prefer players use the resources available to them to avoid relying on their stats to succeed at a challenge. This is not the same as Never rolling, and here's my personal opinion as to how these statements co-exist.

OSR style play culture places a heavy emphasis on problem solving, using inventory and the fictional environment to achieve your goals. Saying "I roll my Stat" and expecting that to clear up the is counter to the ethos of the movement (if not the original 'problem' that maxims were coined to solve.) A player is expected to use the information at hand and avoid relying on Game Mechanics, except as a method of resolution. "Good Plans Don't Roll" implies that Rolling the dice is to be avoided, if only you're clever enough. In a vacuum, that's as good as saying "If you roll the dice, you've failed." directly to a player's face. If they're asked to roll, then surely their plan was bad, right?

But this design choice, this play style does not exist in a vacuum! OSR and really, any elfgame derivative that's been made since Dungeons and Dragons first made it big, were developed in the shadow of and in conversation with D&D. The genre of the thing heavily affects how and why the mechanics within are intended to be called upon. I posit that Dungeon crawling for treasure or glory doesn't lend itself to only ever having good plans! In most instances, the players are explicitly in the dungeon to be tempted into taking risks! A cautious adventurer lives to fight another day, but also doesn't go home with the shiny that was juuuuuust on the other edge of an out of the way spike pit. The mechanics of the game reward clever problem solving by avoiding the dice; but the dice are still there to resolve the possibly-still-sorta-clever-but-mostly-STUPID plans. It's a gamble, a literal roll of the dice, and it's what the players of one's medieval fantasy loot-motivated resource management game should arguably be there for.

This concept is pushed even further in games of the Into The Odd branch, where stat checks are removed entirely for auto-hit damage and Saves, wherein the Roll is not to gain permission for an action to succeed, but a chance to avoid an incoming consequence. But I do think it holds true for most games that find themselves comfortable under the OSR umbrella. Skipping dice rolls for permission for actions that have little to no risk to the players then acts not as a limiter, but a time saving effort to focus on the moments where fate is interesting and the results, good or bad, directly correlated to the players willingly sticking their character's necks out for the chance at something nice.

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

Further Reading-
All Dead Generations: 7 Maxims of the OSR

Prince of Nothing Blogs: The Road to Hell; OSR Design Principles

Explorer's Design: Why Combat is a Fail State

Making Do - I Played a Solo Game At Work

2025-04-25T00:00:00Z

Eat your heart out, novelty dice manufacturers

Howdy, Farmhands.

I got bored at work. It's one of those jobs with a lot of sitting in one location while waiting for very important things to happen, and depending on where you're stationed, you're not allowed to access your cell phone for the duration. Normally, my attention is needed frequently enough that I don't go stir crazy, but on slow days, it could be an honest to God HOUR before I'm required to do more than look pretty. This is the perfect time to let my mind wander and daydream, so I played a solo game in my head. Which is where most solo games are played, but I had no access to dice or prompts or rulebooks or anything.

What I DID have was a computer screen with a digital clock that would display the seconds passing, and an idea. If I looked away from the clock while "resolving" scenarios, only glancing over to it to answer a yes or no question that would clarify the fiction, it was almost like using a randomizer to create an output. If the number was Odd, the answer was no, even for yes.

And I had fun, actually! The trick was to hold myself to the limitations of this weird binary resolution system. If the seconds flashed to the next number after I'd glanced over, even if the result would be BETTER, I had to accept the lower number. Conversely, I need to be the best GM to myself. If a flash of inspiration strikes, I ought to let it play out in my head instead of asking the clock if my cool idea -really- happened.

I knew I wanted to have a self-insert Digimon Adventure, specifically playing as my avatar of Farmer Gadda. To begin with, I asked questions about how I got isekai'd- Does Farmer Gadda have prior experience with Digimon? (No.) Was he chosen for some destiny? (Also no.) Are Digimon reflections of their Human's soul or wild animals they make friends with? (The first one) Are there OTHER Humans getting isekai'd or just him? (Yeah there's others.)

Does he get to bring his Farming tools? (Sure.) What about food? (Yeah.) At this point, I had the mental image of a wormhole forming in the middle of a field of potatoes where he was weeding, meaning the food in question is just a bunch of potato plants. But would he be able to plant potatoes where he landed? Where did he land anyway? A Forest? (No.) Jungle. (No.) On a Mountain? (Nope.) On the... Beach? (Absolutely not.) This was taxing, as so far my luck with questions had leaned towards Yes answers, and I was running out of ideas. An Island? (Yes) But we just established there's no Beach so like... a FLOATING Island? That would actually be very cool and also give me a limited space to run around in. Until I get OFF the floating island, I'm restrained to a specific space, and encounters can be justified by the rock making it's way about with no input from the Farmer.

A series of questions later, I have a D-Arc digivice but no cards (Goddamnit) and the floating island has 8 potential Upgrade spots for me to build stuff. I'm stuck up there with a dwindling food supply, no water source, and a baby Wanyamon that's just happy to be included.

He'll be cooler later, I promise

I'm big on timekeeping in roleplaying games, so I seperate my "actions" by splitting the day into 4 Watches. This is also useful for pausing the fantasy when I have to accomplish something, as I AM still at work. Every Watch I ask if there's an encounter, and if not, I check for resources.

The first Encounter was, according to the clock, A Bird Digimon (I chose Piyomon off the top of my head), it was unfriendly, BUT it wasn't going to attack. I decided it would be funny to have the bird be startled from it's roost and, should it appear later, have an ongoing grudge with the Farmer. One day dream about what that scene looked like later and it was on to the next Watch.

I decided pretty quick that as my note-taking abilities are limited to a sticky pad and pen that I couldn't write out an extensive list of requirements for the upgrades, so instead of keeping track of an inventory, I ask the clock "Is this enough to-" whenever I acquire more of something. The first upgrade only needed Stone, which I can get no problem. But an upgrade in the middle of the island that ONLY requires stone... oh!A three story structure that looks like hollowed out geometric cubes would be nice! Keeps Farmer Gadda and his little furball from sleeping in the open air.

I continued playing this game in my head and on my notepad for about two hours irl before the inevitable rush hit and my focus was on being gainfully employed, but that's fine. I can return to that fantasy whenever I please, adjusting the fiction and asking the clock more questions because... this is basically just my overly complicated day dream. Before I stopped though, that Piyomon and his friends brought me more food and some lore: Other humans have been Isekai'd and most are of the Colonialist type, which is why they were distrustful of me. It looks like there's an Adventure to be had somewhere on the mainland below.

Now if only I could figure out how to get down there...

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

Sonic The Hedgehog - Where Do We Go From Here?

2024-12-13T00:00:00Z

Sonic the Hedgehog had a rough transition to Live Action.

This Blog-post was written as a thank you for a generous monetary donation that arrived during a moment of need!

Thank you so much for your support, Mxfaery!

I have been a Sonic fan for the majority of my life, and I have loved him in many, many forms. From the very beginning, the character has been interpreted and re-interpreted across basically every form of entertainment media. In the first few years of the original video game's release, he appeared in two concurrently airing animated children's shows, one which portrayed him as a Looney Tunes styled hooligan performing slapstick, and the other in a dark and gritty anti-authoritarian guerilla resistance, with body horror and death frequently featured. So it was no surprise to me to learn that the first Live-Action adaptation was going to be a buddy cop movie with a CG animal sidekick. A disappointment, sure, but not a surprise.

SONIC 1: The Good, The Bad, and the Hedgehog

I'm not going to recap the development history of this film. It's practically internet folklore by now- the release of the initial trailer and Sonic's design received SUCH backlash, that not only did Paramount delay the movie by half a year, they brought on Tyson Hesse to rework it into something that would hopefully make them any money. The result was... visibly a movie built on the bones of a much worse one.

Some decisions from the original film were irreversible; the human actors, the Owl-mom that came out of nowhere, the garbling of existing Sonic lore to include Echidnas alive and well during a relatively recent window of time, and ESPECIALLY the buddy-cop road-trip element that is honestly the weakest parts of the film. I'm sorry to all of the "Sonic has human parents" fans out there, but nothing in that movie made me like James Marsden. I've seen Hop. This was basically just Hop.

Despite these flaws, the resulting film was actually Not Bad. It was significantly less of a SONIC movie than it was an origin story for Dr. Eggman; the shift from eccentric but genuinely genius government scientist into the megalomaniac bent on world domination we expect of the character actually makes a lot of sense in this continuity. It's not my FAVORITE take on the character, and the subsequent sequels had to take that direction and work hard to validate it, but it's a very good starting point, for Eggman.

For Sonic and the Movie franchise as a whole, the need to retain the irreplaceable elements of the original plans for the movie has had visible effects on everything that comes after it. For this rant, the most important is the focus on significantly smaller scale locales based in a real world environment. The majority of the movie takes place in rural Americana, with pit stops in 1 major US city and the Great Wall of China for some reason. This focus on real world locations instead of leaning into the fantastical elements expected of Sonic media has definitely become a feature instead of a bug, and the grounded setting and slew of non-furry characters in the cast means these films feature more character stories instead of pure anime spectacle.

SONIC 2: Finally, some Good Fucking Food

For my money, this is where the franchise gets interesting. Sadly, my money is Zero dollars because it's the one piece of Sonic Movie Media I haven't actually seen. I've heard plenty about it, such as the HEAVY implications of a past Owl vs Echidna war, everything involving the Chaos emeralds, and most importantly for this blog-post- a less than stellar B-plot with a destination wedding in Hawaii taking up more screen-time than most people wanted. This is juicy lore, interesting concepts the movie doesn't have full time to explore, DELICIOUS hooks on which to hang future adventures in this franchise... and also the destination wedding in Hawaii.

The flawed premise of the original movie immediately comes to bite the franchise in the ass, as the human characters who aren't Stone or Robotnik need something to do while Sonic and Tails are dealing with Knuckles, and even the final fight at the apex of the movie can't figure out how to properly include them in the action beyond acting as squishy sideline cheerleaders. So Hawaii it is. And yet... When looking at the duology together, the lower stakes Human-centric events feels more in line with what the original movie wanted to go for. Despite the more exciting SONIC stuff in Movie 2, it's at odds with what the previous movie actually WAS.

This imbalance comes to a head in, of all places-

KNUCKLES MINI-SERIES: He's Jewish Now

I've seen most of this show, though not through the official channels (Paramount is run by Zionists, y'all.) And while most of it's flaws can be attributed to the reality that neither CG or Idris Elba come cheap, and both are required for Knuckles to be on screen, I feel most of it's issues come from the expectation fans had going into it. Because the entire series was primarily an attempt to focus on the lower stakes, human-centric writing that was core to Movie 1, and present but not integrated as well in Movie 2. Audiences wanted more Sonic Action, and less sit-com human slice of life. This is a problem for the franchise as something an audience needs to enjoy to continue supporting, but makes sense for the trajectory of the series.

It also, similar to Movie 1, features a lot of Americana, and specifically the main goal of the series- A bowling tournament in Reno, Nevada. This is the third time I've directly made reference to the big, real world set-pieces, so I'm done being coy- Sonic's Movie Franchise is HEAVILY focused on taking the characters to real places, On Earth, and doing fantastical furry things there. In fact, outside of Robotnik's temporary banishment to the Mushroom Planet, and the Green Hill Zone segment in the first movie, there's been no action that removes the Hedgehog and his friends from Earth.

Interesting.

There IS, of course, still Sonic Action to be had. There's an entire dream sequence that shares more lore of Knuckles' people, and that finale features Knuckles unlocking the Flames of Disaster... Which... aren't actually anything to do with Knuckles in the original game continuity...

INTERESTING.

SONIC 3: That Damned Fourth Chaos Emerald

Lets get the key point out of the way. In Japan, the movie is literally subtitled "Tokyo Mission." We've seen in the various teasers that they'll be stopping in London. Despite this movie, more than anything before it, focusing on the high stakes, anime action Sonic fans expect from Sonic Media, the real world and human-centric stakes are still going to be front and center. This, more than any other story the movie franchise has tried to adapt thus far, is going to be an interesting stretch. Sonic Adventure 2 was WILD, y'all. The government has a black ops orbital space station. Hell, they have a tropical island PRISON that completely explodes at one point (There goes Hawaii.) In order to chase Eggman INTO space, the heroes go to Not-Egypt and find a NASA-esque rocket INSIDE A PYRAMID. There is a lot of Sonic Action to be had in this story. Too much Sonic Action to shove into a Movie of realistic length. WAY too much Sonic Action to shove into a Movie in this franchise, which, I repeat, has always had a significant desire to focus on Human-centric, grounded character stories.

So what ARE they adapting outside of the action set pieces? Judging by the trailers we've seen thus far? Shadow the Hedgehog.

SONIC 3 INTERMISSION: WHO IS SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG?

This is, unironically, the million dollar question. Before the game franchise underwent a less than ideal focus shift to chase industry trends around 2007, Shadow the Hedgehog had all of 5 Video Game appearances to build up his character. The first, Sonic Adventure 2, was intended to be his ONLY appearance, and ended with a quickly retcon'd Death Scene. After that, he comes back with AMNESIA, and needs to retread the ground already covered by the first game, and that's BEFORE he's told he's genetically part Alien.

But let's recap, for the kiddies at home. During the events of Sonic Adventure 2, Shadow is portrayed as a dark and twisted mirror image of Sonic the Hedgehog. Where Sonic is open and bright, Shadow is dark and brooding. Where Sonic is heroic and free, Shadow is selfish and calculating. The pair fight whenever they're in the same space and if you play through their encounters in chronological order, you realize that Shadow figuratively and literally places himself above Sonic, not even bothering to learn his name until the very end of the game. But where the marketing material plays up the comparisons, the story of the game is actually really uninterested in maintaining that 1 to 1 dynamic.

Shadow is possessed by his anger, unable to see anything outside of his desire for (honestly, reasonable but incorrectly aimed) revenge. The persona he presents as a dark and brooding and evil person is not all there is to him, and the longer the story goes on, the more the audience sees that slip. The entire time Shadow is working through that anger, Sonic is a constant annoyance, keeping up with him, preventing him from easily succeeding at his plot, and repeatedly trying to reach out and talk out whatever the issue is. By the end of the game, Shadow textually recognizes that for all his flouting of being the Ultimate Life form... Sonic actually might be stronger. Not because they can both go Super or anything, but because his worldview prevents him from being consumed by the anger that Shadow couldn't let go of. It's a story of how Shadow grows and changes into a better version of himself by mere proximity to Sonic.

And then he fucking dies.

Sonic Heroes (2003) returns Shadow to the cast, as he was simply too popular to never bring back, but this time with a twist! Eggman has created an army of Androids that look just like Shadow! And the Shadow we follow during the game might be one of them! He doesn't have any memories to say otherwise, so his development has been reset and this Android mystery takes the forefront whoo!!!! (The end of the next mainline game, Shadow The Hedgehog (2005) reveals that no, that was all bullshit it was the original the whole time lmao. Thanks Sega.)

Shadow the Hedgehog (2006), uses it's bizarre game play format to present both the most heroic and most villainous potential series of events to reach a less than satisfying end thesis: Shadow the Hedgehog contains all of those possibilities. He is equally capable of great evil as he is great heroism and everything in between. Similar to Sonic's desire for freedom guiding his actions, Shadow's desires are what motivates him. There is no destiny or assigned role for him; to assume so would be to ignore an entire chunk of his being. This is, on paper, a really good direction for the character. It's just a shame it took a two (three if you count Sonic Battle) games to reach this point, which isn't even as neat or complete an arc as was already done in Sonic Adventure 2.

Shadow's story doesn't progress to a comparable point as the end of SA2 until Sonic The Hedgehog (2006). His appearances leading up to this point rehash the same concepts, but spread thinner, and conveyed less directly, across multiple games and multiple years. Each time he appears, it is with the lingering question, both in and out of universe, "Who is Shadow the Hedgehog?".

I cannot in good faith pretend to believe that Paramount will be able to cover this in a single movie. I do, however, FIRMLY believe that the creative team working on these films know that.

END SONIC 3 INTERMISSION

Sonic the Hedgehog Movie 3 is going to focus on early Shadow- the brooding, angry, borderline evil Shadow we saw throughout the marketing material and goofed upon for much of the 2000's. He will be driven by a desire for revenge, pushed by an alive and vengeful Dr. Gerald Robotnik into committing acts of violence against the world for GUN's crimes. By the end of the movie, by sheer proximity to Sonic the Hedgehog, he will question and rebel against his creator's plans, because while Shadow is fully capable of such evil, he is equally capable of great heroism, and denying the kind heart Maria loved would mean becoming something else entirely. The movie will end on this incongruity, making the cast, the audience, and maybe even Shadow himself wonder who he truly is. But that's okay, really. Because we already have the perfect story to give an answer. One that allows for both the Sonic Action fans desire, and the grounded story telling set on the planet earth featuring a real-world set piece that is the backbone of this media sub-franchise. You've read my fucking manifesto this far so don't dip out on me now, when I say something truly and utterly bizarre. Are you ready?

The inevitable Shadow the Hedgehog Miniseries is going to adapt Sonic the Hedgehog (2006)

SHADOW MINISERIES: WITNESS THE POWER OF THE ULTIMATE LIFE FORM

Sonic The Hedgehog (2006) featured an entire campaign focusing on Shadow, and primarily, the demon whispering in his ear, Mephiles. Mephiles takes on Shadow's form, emulating the Hedgehog like a dark and twisted shadow. He shows him visions of a future wherein he is betrayed, suffering an unfair fate at the hands of his enemies, overtaken by his rival Sonic, all in an effort to enrage Shadow and push him to take actions that would benefit Mephiles' master plan. But Mephiles has it completely wrong- his manipulations assumes that Shadow is the same angry, misguided person he was at the start of SA2, that he hasn't grown or changed or accepted all of his incongruous facets of his personality. Shadow plays along just enough to grasp the full gambit, at which point he simply and concisely calls Mephiles out on his bullshit. As a capstone to the development shown through Sonic Adventure 2, Sonic Heroes, and Shadow the Hedgehog, he stands in front of an army of his own shadows, and declares, "Even if the world chooses to become my enemy. I'll fight like I always have."

If Sonic 3 displays Shadow's capability for Villainy, with his kind heart revealed for the final act, Soleanna will be the perfect scenario to turn that on it's head. Just not with the time travel, Silver, Blaze, or even Sonic. A solo adventure with a devil on his shoulder tempting him to give back into the anger he was manipulated with the movie previous, and a human girl stuck with a terrible destiny that prevents her from shedding tears. A parallel to the sister he lost and mourned and the authority figure who used that bond to commit violence against the planet she loved. The perfect scenario for him to compare what he was created as with what he knows he can be, and choose to be all and none of those things; to reject the expectations of others and follow his own heart wherever it takes him. Just like Sonic. Just like Maria would have wanted.

The introduction of the Flames of Disaster, tied to Knuckles and the Echidnas, raise a lot of eyebrows. Hailing from Sonic The Hedgehog 2006, this concept had nothing to do with either, and was a change that didn't make a lot of sense at the time. Now though, with what I've posited? It's simply a shorthand to tie whatever happens during this Miniseries back into the greater world lore. It won't matter if the series spends all of it's time on the character stories if it naturally furthers the previous mini-series' plot thread just by having Shadow be in the right place for that exposition to be dumped.

Final Thoughts: What the hell did I just read?

I don't know. What the hell did I just write? Hang on, lemme give it a skim.

---

I think I might be mentally ill.

If any of this turns out to be correct, I will simply have to do another one of these, with significantly less recapping and more predictions for the franchise. Off the top of my head, I do believe that Movie 4 will be the Metal Sonic/Little Planet movie, being the first to be an Interplanetary adventure now that they've gone to Space to fight the Ark in Movie 3, and Shadow the Miniseries used the last big real-world set piece they could have without adapting Sonic Adventure 1. Beyond that, who knows if the series will even still be running? It doesn't show signs of slowing down, but as with any Sonic media, you can never tell what changes they'll make next.

Until next Time,

Farmer Gadda

Solo-ish; An Experiment

2024-12-06T00:00:00Z

I would lose my mind if I had to type in 65193 every single roll

This post and others like it was made possible by members of my Patreon, where you can see WIPs and Previews of future blogposts a week early! Thank you in particular to Suzy for your continued support!

Howdy, Farmhands

I will occasionally Poast my regrets on social media. Nothing too deep or heavy, just whatever occurs to me as something I ought to change in the near future. Putting the thought out into public for others to read acts as a motivator to take action, lest my audience think me a waffle (derogatory). One such regret I've poasted about time and again is my lack of experience with Solo Games.

Solo Games are Games you Play Solo. (lol) Usually, they're designed from the ground up to be a Solo experience, while more frequently in recent years, additional rules for Solo play to multiplayer or gm'd games have become the norm. Lots of people want to play the games they buy, but organizing a dedicated table of players is difficult. Playing by yourself, in whatever free time you have, is a very tempting prospect. But it's a space I've largely not engaged with. Until right now.

I run two separate campaigns at the moment, each taking up my Tuesday evening slot on alternating weeks. This usually takes up most of my available free time set aside for gaming; if I'm not prepping, running, or facilitating downtime for one, I'm doing so for the other. This fell apart the moment a schedule changed. One player had vacation, another had a work event, then Halloween hit and there were parties to go to and Thanksgiving to prepare for, and here I am two months later having run... Nothing. The stars have aligned.

For this project, I quickly decided I wanted two things- first, I was going to host the game on a Discord Server I maintain. Not my brand server, but one of the Group Chats for buddies who've put up with my bullshit long enough to be willing to engage with me while I go on this journey. Secondly, I was not going to enforce the game remaining purely Solo, in the event anyone saw what I was doing and wanted to join in. This meant whatever system or tables I employed needed to be accessible and legible to Other People as well.

For the basic resolution system, I chose to primarily handle things as if I were playing an Into the Odd hack, using Cairn as a base. HP, STR, DEX, WIS, d20, roll under. I looked for a couple of GM oracles, but settled on using a simple "Yes/No" table I found on chartopia, with the understanding that a good chunk of play would be asking clarifying questions of it instead of expecting it to act as a spark table for me to interpret. Luckily, Chartopia has it's own Discord Bot which can trigger and roll on any table on the site remotely.It even lets you give tables an alias so you don't have to memorize the numerical code for each table you want to roll!

With the bot and tables handled, I needed to choose which tables I would be using. Lucky for me, a number of existing games, Solo or otherwise, currently are accessible via Chartopia. Scouring the website, I came to the conclusion that I wasn't about to play a standard medieval fantasy. I was envisioning a Stardew Valley sort of vibe, with chill, character and resource based adventuring on the overworld, with danger and mystery found inside adventure sites littered about. Lucky for me, there's already a Solo Game about playing in a Harvest Moon slash Animal Crossing setting, and all of it's tables are available on Chartopia.

There was just one final thing I wanted, and I wanted it quite badly. A simple Yes or No oracle wouldn't suffice for NPC dialogue, so to google I went. What I've tentatively settled on is this; Let's Talk, by Dr. Gerald Ravenpie. It's a fairly robust system, with a couple moving parts that might be hard to grok by others who join, but since everything else is very simply Yes/No questions and basic Stat checks, a little chunk might be what this project needs. The immediate change I chose to make, was to take the "sometimes" emotions and permanently add them to my deck, as well as label the emotions 1 through 13 so I could "draw" them from a standard playing card deck. I'll report back if further changes need to be made.

Here then, are the RULES for Farmer Gadda's Solo-ish Play By Post!

How to be your own GM

Ask clarifying questions: The Y/N bot can be questioned multiple times about the same thing, it won't get annoyed with you. If you want more details about something, feel free to keep asking yes or no questions; just don't try to make the bot un-answer something you don't like.
Be neutral when writing reactions: Its easy to say "well, I dont need to hit my character THAT hard" and never really face adversity. Let consequences happen, and respect the Y/N bot; it will create problems you then can have fun trying to solve!

CONVERSELY

Be a fan of your own work: The best DM's are the ones that put things they know the player will enjoy in front of them. When generating or interpreting positive answers, indulge and let your silly ideas happen.
Only Roll when there's Risk: You can spend paragraphs JUST writing what happens without using the Dice at all; it's just you here and nobody can judge you. What you do or do not engage with in your fiction has no requirements to follow, follow your heart and inspiration

Dice Math

Roll 1d20, Under your Stat to succeed
If your HP hits Zero, take any further damage from your STR, and roll a save with the new value. Fail, and you fall unconscious.
1d4: Fists, Generic Damage from Environments, 1d6: Weapons, Actually Aggressive individuals, etc etc
You are free to ignore or add as many or as little rulings as you see fit, so long as you're having fun

And that's pretty much it! Armed with as much prep as I was willing to make, I set out into the wild unknown as Gadda, the Human Farmer. What will come of this experiment is a series of play reports regaling the adventures I get up to and those of anyone who decides to join me.

Until next Time,

Farmer Gadda

Ol' Gadda's Pirate Game

2024-11-21T00:00:00Z

y'know what, sure, why the fuck not?

Howdy, Farmhands.

As of the time of writing, it is the release day for Dicegoblin's "Block, Dodge, Parry" (and thus, "Cairn") supplement, "Sail, Swab, Scurvy." The document is available on itch for half off during release weekend, and is apparently only 5 dollars full price once the promotion is over. BDP is one of many Cairn hacks that I return to for inspiration while collating my own personal preferred ruleset, and while I don't yet own it in physical, it's near the top of my To Buy list for a good reason.

But I'm not actually here to talk about BDP or it's new supplement. Because as it turns out, I've been running my OWN odd-like pirate game for the past 6 months, using it as a testing ground for whatever nonsense I decide to try and put into the Sanic Hack. The first iteration was made of me doing copious amounts of googling to see what other people who wanted to sail the seven seas in an OSR-y fashion had done before me; cobbling together their concepts and roll tables until I had something CLOSE to the vibe I expected. Every change since then has been seasoning to the taste of my actual players. So color me surprised when, at the very end of SSS, there's a short list of credits and references Dicegoblin used while writing the thing.

    - Enthusiastic Skeleton Boys by Sam C.
    - Lilliputian: Adventure on the Open Seas by Manadawn Tabletop Games
    - This series of blogposts on Wavecrawls and Pirates by Skerples

This is list is, I shit you not, the exact same 3 sources I used to cobble together the first few iterations of my ruleset. Not for a lack of Other, equally impressive sources, mind you. They were simply some of the most immediately obvious results to read from, and so I did.

I found this happenstance very funny, but it also made me wonder. If two completely separate people could approach a similar project, around the same time, using the same core texts as inspiration, and come out with two different systems, then there's got to be other people who will inevitably try as well. So here's the point of today's post. I could let what I've got fester in the word document I keep it in, polishing it off and on over the next 10 years until it's PERFECT and ready for public consumption. I could dripfeed individal rulings and concepts out as some sort of retroactive design documentary, for you to piece together. Or. I could slap what I've got down here, in the hopes that it becomes useful to the next person wanting to craft their own bespoke Pirate OSR NSR POSR D&DIY Elfgame Mark of the Odd Odd-like Wavecrawl Sailing TTRPG experience. At the very least, I've linked like, 6 different games they might not have found in their search yet. To those future people I say welcome.

Quick disclaimer: This is only the player facing rules my table needs to reference; character creation item data, and monster statblocks use standard Cairn notation. We also play in a Shounen Furry Waterworld with Sanics and rubber people and stuff. I hope this helps you, despite this, lmao.

Brace yourself for whatever This is
- Sonic Prime, available on Netflix

Until next time,

Farmer Gadda

Ol' Gadda's Pirate Game
Basic Rules:
If you do something Risky, roll 1d20 and aim to roll Below your relevant stat. (STR, DEX, WIS)
If you get into a fight and get hurt, you subtract damage from your HP. If HP hits zero, you start taking away from STR. Every turn you get hit without HP, you have to roll against STR, and if you fail, you drop.
If you have any questions about anything at all, I'm to give you the information, no rolls required. You guys are supposed to try to be smart and solve problems without getting yourselves killed. I'm supposed to be neutral and not try to kill you guys. We all get to have fun in a big sandbox of adventures and npcs and shit.
Inventory Rules:
You have 10 Slots on your person. Unless noted, most items take up 1 Slot.
Fatigue ALSO takes up a slot. If your slots are full and you gain Fatigue, you must choose an item to drop.
Technique Rules:
Unless written with an explicit cost, Techniques can be done as an Action at any time, only rolling if it's use is particularly Risky. To perform feats only vaguely related to known techniques, you must gain 1 Fatigue and roll a WIL save to perform it.
You can LEARN new Techniques by Finding A Master, Studying a Guide, or Training the new Technique after successfully performing it as listed above Once.
Wealth Rules:
A vague idea of the party's resources, be it monetary or favors. When in port,it is assumed you can afford food for basic living, and scenes in which coins are required for RP won't count against your WEALTH.
Common Items can ALWAYS be bought from relevant Vendors for 1 WEALTH each. For LARGE, RARE, or IMPORTANT purchases, roll against the party's WEALTH Score. On a Success, you can make the purchase, reduce the score by 1 when you do so. On a failure, you do not have the funds, and cannot try again until the Wealth Score is increased.
Combat Rules:
Once Combat begins, time is tracked using Turns and Rounds. The Party goes first unless noted by the GM.
On the Party's Turn, every member can Move and Perform an Action (you can do either first or choose to only do 1). Move: Up to "30 Feet" or between "Close" and "Near" ranges. Moving "Far" requires two turns of Movement. Action: Casting a Spell, Attacking with a Weapon, or any other Activity that requires focus to do. If you're not sure, ask your GM is an activity would take up your entire action for the turn.
On the Enemy's Turn, if a Party Member is attacked, they can choose to do 1 of these things-
- Fight Back: Choose one attacker and roll to deal damage against it after you've taken the incoming damage.
- Block: Tank the hit, but it's damage becomes Impaired (reduced to d4), you must have a Weapon or Shield for this. If you are willing, you may completely sacrifice the shield to negate all damage; the item will become irreparable.
- Dodge: Avoid being hit at all by bodily moving out of the way. Roll a Dex Save. On a Failure, this action costs 1 Fatigue to complete. You may choose to simply accept the hit.
- Parry: Choose one attacker and roll to deal damage; if you roll higher damage than they, their damage is invalidated, and your roll is applied directly to their STR score. If you roll lower than they, your roll is invalidated and damage is applied directly to YOUR STR score After both the Party and Enemy have had Turns, the Round ends- The GM re-describes the scenario and the next Round begins.
Things to Know About Combat:
- Dual Wielding and Teaming Up on a Guy: If more than one weapon is used on an Opponent in the same attack (unless marked as a multi-attack weapon like a boomerang I guess) all weapon dice are rolled and the Highest number used.|
- Morale Checks: Enemies that take half or more of their HP in damage make a Morale Check against their WIS. Failing this check means they no longer wish to fight and will look for an out. You can purposefully try to convince or de-moralize your enemies to remove them from Combat faster. Groups of enemies take a group Morale Check after losing half their number OR their Leader.
- Odd Stunts: If you describe your attack in a cool way that incorporates your surroundings (kicking a table at your foe, running up a wall for a backflip kick), the GM may enhance your damage roll to a d12. Basically you gotta bribe them.
What Happens after reaching 0 HP:
- Down: A Player Character at 0 HP is Down, and only able to choose between Moving and Performing an Action each turn, but not both. Any further damage is taken from their STR score, requiring a Roll against the new STR number to stay standing. If they fail, they are-
- Out: Unconscious and otherwise unable to participate in the battle.
- Carry: Players may Carry a Downed member of their party. All attacks made during this time are Impaired(reduced to a d4), but for every round the Downed Member is Carried, they regain 1 hp.
Timekeeping Rules:
The day is split into 4 "WATCHES", Morning, Day, Evening, and Night. Generally, you may perform one activity per Watch, and at least 1 Watch must be spent sleeping. The number of Roleplay Scenes within a Watch is up for discussion based on the table and narrative's needs, and clarification can be asked for at ANY time.
Overland Travel Rules:
To walk somewhere, you just do it. Each WATCH, I roll for events along the way, sometimes you'll find problems sometimes you'll have an easy trip. Terrain types and Weather determine how fast you can go without slowing down.
Sailing Rules:
To sail somewhere, you need Rations (Food and Water) to last you the trip. Each DAY, I roll for events along the way, sometimes you'll find problems sometimes you'll have an easy trip. The Hold slots are for Cargo, and the other slots are for Upgrades like cannons and shit. It's your home base so customize it as you like.
(We've been using the Lilliputian Ship Sheet for this)
Scaling Rules:
Some things are just Bigger than other things. To determine the difference between them, we use Scales. Creatures and Vehicles of any scale have their damage die against anything of a smaller scale Enhanced. Conversely, they can only perform Impaired damage against targets 1 scale larger than them. Beyond that, their attacks are ineffectual.

My players only understand new concepts if I can relate them
to Digimon in some way, it's a recurring problem.

Sherbert Forest Clearing

2024-11-19T00:00:00Z

"Forestmen’s Hideout 6054", TLG 1988

This Adventure Site was written as a thank you for a generous monetary donation that arrived during a moment of need! Thank you so much for your support, Anonymous Farmhand!

Deep within the dark woods of Sherbet Forest lives the jolly gang of misfits known as The Forestmen. Beloved by the peasantry and begrudgingly tolerated by royalty, these free spirits spend their days carousing in search of food and song. But one should never forget that the Forestmen's autonomy was hard won through their talents with sword and bow. They are a genial folk, but only as long as your respect their freedom.

Upon stumbling into their clearing, the Forestmen will welcome you to their revel! There are tables full of snacks and soda and a roaring bonfire in the center of the space on which to roast marshmallows. No less than 20 Forestmen are partaking of the merriment at any one time, but individuals come and go silently, making it hard to keep track of who's who.

A. Boasting

The Forestmen gathered around the campfire are playing a game of Boasts, trying to one-up the other in ridiculous claims of daring and bravery. In turn, they make a declaration of a feat they once committed, with the next either increasing the ridiculousness or demanding the previous member "Prove" they performed as promised. The challenged must then perform an act that explains their claim successfully, if they fail, they must serve the group another round of delicious Root Beer Floats.

One Time I-

1d6	Result
1	Beat Basil the Batlord in a duel
2	Scared away the Black Monarch's Ghost
3	Got a Kiss from Queen Leonora
4	Told a joke that made King Richard laugh
5	Rode on the back of an angry Dragon
6	Liberated the Wolfpack's treasure hoard

-with nothing but-

1d6	Result
1	-My Bow, and - (Roll again on this table)
2	-An impassioned Song and Dance routine
3	-My bare, C-shaped hands
4	-The feather in my Cap
5	-A convincing impression of a Hunting Dog
6	-A cleverly hidden Banana

-and then I evaded the Guard by-

1d6	Result
1	-Hiding inside a Hay-bale!
2	-Digging an Escape tunnel under the jail cells!
3	-Finding a secret passage!
4	-Swimming across the Moat!
5	-Swinging from the Chandelier!
6	-Flinging myself from a Catapult!

If any member of the party can succeed at proving a Boast they were challenged over, the Forestmen will reward them with their pick from the Treasure Cart

B. Captured Knight

A Knight bearing the arms of the Royal Family sits behind rusty bars in the hollow of a tree. They alternate between glaring at their captors and staring longingly at their confiscated weapons at the Treasure Cart. (They're mostly upset at the mocking they've suffered for lowering their guard in the Forestmen's woods.) What do the Forestmen plan to do with their captive?

C. Treasure Chest

A wooden chest filled with loot, atop a dual wheeled barrow. The yellow flag tied to a spear is in tatters, and the house crest of the crusading Lion Knights has been scarred by arrow marks. The Forestmen will happily tell you of how they managed to acquire these goods, but they keep a watchful eye of anyone who nears their hoard. Attempting to steal from them will not end well for you or your party.

What wonderful loot have the Forestmen collected?

1d6	Result
1	The Sword (d6) and Shield of a captured Lion Knight. Presenting these to a Lion Knight has a 1 in 6 chance of convincing them you are a member of their order.
2	Dragomil Stave - A metal rod with a 5 pointed star sculpted onto the end. Spews a line of Dragon's Fire when used. (d8, 3 charges, only 1 remaining) To recharge, it must be heated with a true Dragon's flame.
3	Sanguine Helm - A black metal helmet with batwing horns jutting from the sides. Wearing this puts the Peasantry at unease, and may frighten weak opponents (Morale saves are at Disadvantage)
4	Locksley's Bow - A weapon crafted by Robin himself. Arrows fired from it act as if enchanted, and fly towards anything painted to look like a bulls-eye. (Robin stopped using it. Except as a laugh)
5	Banner of the Pack - A cloth flag embroidered with the head of a Wolf. Showing this to marauders met on the highways have a 50% chance of allowing you safe passage, should they believe you one of them.
6	Golden Idol - A statue of a wingless reptile, made of solid Gold. Larger than a man's head and too heavy to carry without assistance. If chosen, the statue forever "belongs" to the Party member, but until they can successfully remove it without help, it will remain in the Forestmen's treasure hoard.

D. Tree Houses

High above the treeline, floating constructions have been built haphazardly around the strongest of tree trunks, connected by rope bridges and accessed with hidden pulley systems. The Forestmen protect their safe havens with all of their might, and refuse entry to strangers. If you can prove yourself an ally of theirs, or better yet, pledge to join their ranks, they may grant you access to their home and family.

What can you gain from joining the Forestmen? (click for spoilers)

Distrust from the Monarchy!

The agreements that leave the Forestmen unencumbered by things like Taxes and Sworn Fealty were written under less than amicable circumstances. The reigning government fears what will happen if either side breaks the treaty, or worse, the Forestmen decide they want more.
Knowledge of Sherbet Forest!

The secret of Sherbet's enchantments is known only to Robin Hood himself, and as long as it remains that way, the forest is a confusing maze to anyone not of his clan. Membership with the Forestmen includes you and your party in that exclusive club, preventing you from ever getting lost within it's borders.
Robin's Attention!

The wayward Lord of House Locksley keeps a close eye on his Forestmen. While in Sherbet Forest, there is a 1 in 6 chance per day that a missive tied to an arrow will land near your Party, though you'll never see the archer who fired it. Complete the task written inside to increase Hood's trust in you; a strong enough faith in your abilities will increase the asks you may make of him in return.

Once the feast wraps up, the Forestmen will blindfold and lead their Guests on a twisting and random path before releasing them within eyesight of the Castle.Unless explicitly invited and guided by a Forestman, the clearing cannot be found again. Don't worry though, should the Party ever enter the wood in the future, the Forestmen will be well aware of their arrival.

Slip-Wreck Rock

2024-11-17T00:00:00Z

"Island of Dragons Bones" by Zhang Li

A simple jut of stone and sand, upon which the fossilized bones of some great beast lay. The water surrounding it feels oily and smells revolting. A small pit-stop of a village has been built here, with little to offer but cheap grog and the barest of supplies.

This Adventure Site was written as a thank you for a generous monetary donation that arrived during a moment of need!
Thank you so much for your support, Nebulabash!

A. Ribcage Village - The pillars of bone create a sturdy support for this series of wooden bridges and buildings. Rope lifts allow the villagers to travel up and down the different layers, with the prime real estate being along the spine. (The smell's thinnest up there)

- Point of Interest: Pigsbreath Pub - A greasy shack with bar stools next to the open windows. Offers mugs of grog and "Seashore Surprise." The surprise is that it's made from whatever recently was found on the seashore. PCs can sell whatever they've foraged here, for a copper each.

B. Seashore - A small strip of sticky sand with an unnatural sheen. Once per day, the party can forage for resources, though anything they find is glossy and unpleasant to touch. A cave system can only be accessed during low-tide, leading to area C.

What Washed Ashore on Slip-Wreck?

1. 1d6 Fish? These were probably fish once. This one has three eyes!
2. A cluster of sentient seaweed. When a PC nears, it lashes out and attempts to drag them back into the sea. On a successful hit, it gives up and scampers into the water.
3. Driftwood and other detritus. Collecting enough of this will let you build a vacation home here!
4. A message in a bottle. The words are too smeared in grease to read, but it DOES make you wonder if this gunk is flammable. (It is)
5. 1d4 Bone shards (As Caltrop), sections of bone that's flaked off the Beast and been shaped by the ocean waves. Feels worse than stepping on a Lego.
6. A whole parrot, bright green and waterlogged. What's a tropical jungle bird doing all the way out here- oh no wait. It's just a seagull covered in slime.

C. Cave Mouth - Filled with wet and slimy rocks. Movement is difficult, and any loud noise has a 1 in 4 chance of dropping a sharp Stalactite on your head for d6 damage.

D. Vertical Passage - A hollow in the pillars of rock that hold the Beast's bones, 60 feet high with the sky visible above. The walls are coated with the same slime as the rest of this place, with a visible water line stopping halfway up. If adventuring during daylight, swarms of bats rest in the shadows of the outcroppings and will attempt to knock you off your perch if disturbed. (Dex save)

E. Skull Hollow - A large cavern of bone, held aloft by a spear of stone through the skull. A blackened tooth drips with putrid goop from above; retrieving it will end the unfortunate spill surrounding the island.

- Special Item: Toothrot (As Great sword), once per day, can spew a stream of putrid, flammable liquid from it's tip, creating difficult terrain or subduing a creature with it's stench on a failed CON save

Camping!

2024-10-30T00:00:00Z

Pokemon Base Camp" - Pokemon Legends Arceus, Game Freak

Howdy, Farmhands!

Heroes of Cerulea by Blackfisk Publishing comes with 3 separate campaign styles printed in it's rules. The first, Dungeon Campaign, allows Players to skip all overworld travel, teleporting them from entrance to entrance of the main campaign's 3 Dungeons in whatever order they like. In the second style, Overland Campaign, the map is placed before the players with the Dungeon's locations clearly marked, with overland travel being used to fill in the space between them. The final, and most expansive style, Screen Crawl Campaign, is the focus of today's post.

My current game is run in Screen Crawl style. The map is entirely whited out, with the contents of a square only being made known to my players as they choose to enter it. NPCs will mention the names and general direction of landmarks, but until the players choose to head in that direction, they know nothing about it. Sure, both of my players have access to the PDF with the full map included, but ostensibly, they're traveling blind. Rules as written states that "completed" squares can be ignored for fast travel purposes once the obstacle within it is solved, be it a puzzle or a fight with Monsters. I've decided this is too easy, and have seasoned the game to taste with the following homebrew.

Disclaimer:

This is an independent production, unaffiliated with Lucas Falk and Blackfisk Publishing, published through the Heroes of Cerulea Third Party License. Heroes of Cerulea is copyright Lucas Falk and Blackfisk Publishing.

Homebrew Rule #1 - Square Repopulation

Unlike in the core rules as written, a "Completed" square cannot simply be skipped as players travel through it again. Puzzles remain solved, but Pots and Grass respawn, provided the party isn't purposefully abusing this by repeatedly exiting and reentering the same square. Any Square that contained Monsters as it's obstacle has a 1 in 4 chance of being restocked upon reentering it's space.

The result of this rule is twofold - First, it increases the chance of the Party gaining Gems from Pots and Monster Loot. For my Archer character, this is very important, as bad rolls in the campaign thus far has made Gems a very valuable resource for their desired play style. The second result is that it creates squares that are objectively more dangerous than others. Knowing there is a chance, however small, that Monsters will generate in a specific space they've already traveled through, gives players an option to make decisions on how risky they want to play. If they're well stocked, a Monster square offers more Loot drops. If they're low on Hearts, however, a Monster square risks a Game Over.

Speaking of Game Overs, if a Party Game Overs in the Overworld (not in a Dungeon), all completed Squares will have their Monsters respawn. Puzzles and other obstacles remain solved, but the Monsters WILL come back. There are Three ways to prevent this from happening.

The party could simply Not Die. As mentioned, Squares only have a 1 in 4 chance of respawning Monsters while traveling through them, and only if Monsters were previously spawned there.
Defeat the main Dungeon in a Biome. My game assumes that the main dungeons are what spawn Monsters in the first place - all terrain of a similar color stops respawning Monsters once it's related Main Dungeon is cleared. This means it's possible to "clean up" a region by entering every square and ensuring you've defeated all monsters within it.
Using a Campsite to set a Save State.

Homebrew Rule #2 - Campsites & Save States

A Campsite is a consumable Item, with a 1 in 4 chance of being available at any given Shop, separate from it's generated stock, for 100 Gems. Alternatively, it can drop from General Loot on a roll of 44, if the Character has Full Hearts AND already has a Pixie in a Bottle in their inventory.

Using a Campsite sets a Save State, which is a Point in the relevant Biome that prevents any square ventured before it from respawning it's Monsters in the event of a Game Over. Should the Party leave the Biome, or Defeat the Main Dungeon (thus ending the Respawn mechanic entirely), the Save State will be lost.

This rule, unfortunately, requires some extra work from the DM, needing to note on what square the Camp was used, and which Squares after it are not protected by the Active Save State. I personally have no issue with this extra bookkeeping, though I'm sure it won't be as digestible for everyone.

Additional Thoughts

There are a number of locations within the officially released Heroes of Cerulea catalog that I personally refer to as "Minigames." In Overworld Areas, there are Three - the Cow Herding Minigame, the Fishing Minigame, and the Mountain Traversal Minigame. Unlike Puzzles, these are meant to be repeatable events, wherein the Resolution Mechanic is slightly altered to create a modular experience. Some sort of dice related activity to be done "Overnight" while Camping would be fun, though I don't think it's benefit should be the traditional healing found in ttrpg long rests.

Savvy Players may find there is an Optimal point to use a Save State, and attempt to tactically deploy them for maximum protection. I think this is perfectly fine. Campsites are not guaranteed to be available at every Shop they find, and while ensuring maximum usage of a Save State _is_ technically Metagaming... So is the knowledge that defeating a Main Dungeon ends the Respawn mechanic and choosing to beeline for it. I think this should be a valid party tactic of everyone at the table agrees to it, and offers interesting choices.

Until next time,

Farmer Gadda

Disability in Elfgames

2024-10-19T00:00:00Z

"The Combat Wheelchair" for dnd 5e by Mark Thompson
The homebrew that launched a thousand piss-baby's tantrums

Howdy, Farmhands-

Twitter is dead. Long live... well, preferably Not-Twitter.

The following is what was once a tweet-thread, collated here for better archival and perusal. It is sadly devoid of the interesting input received upon it's posting from other people in disabled spaces, but despite those conversations happening, I still think the content reflects where I am at personally with this topic. As always, my opinions are my own and reflect my life experiences and biases, so please do not take anything here as some sort of attempt at being authoritative on the matter.

Until Next Time,

-Farmer Gadda

Limitless Heroics" by Wyrmworks Publishing

A mutual approached me with the request that I write an opinion piece on portraying permanent negative effects for pcs in elfgames. My kneejerk reaction was "This isn't my lane", forgetting my wife is permanently disabled, and I use corrective devices for my personal medical issues. So actually, maybe, hey, I AM in a place to have opinions on Some of this topic.

The tl;dr is that Fifth Edition, especially with it's Conditions as written, is made with the internal assumption that all PCs are able-bodied, with any change to that status quo being a net loss to playability. Mathematically, you're worse than your peers at actions you're expected to be capable of. -if not completely barred from subsections of equipment. A blind individual, if going by 5e's definition of Blinded, is incapable of casting many spells from the outset. This is not a moral judgement or anything, just a statement that RAW, this is how the system is set up to work. I've read a bunch of "fixes" for this. Guidelines for DMs to band-aid over or ignore wording of specific rules, mechanical Feats and Magic Items to "Nuh-uh" those uncomfortable rules away for the one player who wants to play a disabled pc; but none of it addressed (or could address) the core issue.

5e, and honestly, most elfgames that primarily function as a combat engine, are games about causing violence and physical harm to an opponent, while mitigating physical harm to the party. Any state that isn't able-bodied is mathematically meant to be avoided lest it lead directly to a fail state. From a Game Design perspective, being disabled or negatively affected by any physical or mental ailment is undesirable, with a decent chunk of the game mechanics explaining how to Un-Do or preemptively avoid certain kinds of ailments. Stripped down to it's core, that Is The Game.

But saying "Play other games" is not actionable here. The individual WANTS to play an Elfgame, and WANTS to not be shitty about disabled rep in said Elfgames, so what does Gadda suggest trying to meld those two desires into an enjoyable game night with the boys?

As a -baseline-, everyone at the table needs to be aware of the game's biases. They need to understand that the assumptions made while writing the thing were ableist and racist, and that those decisions are unfortunately inherent to the game they've chosen. There are no quick fixes to be had here. And frankly, anyone who claims you CAN fix those issues with the right amount of homebrew is either drinking the Kool-Aid or trying to sell you something. Sorry, not sorry. Being aware of the assumptions the Game makes will make it easier for both players and GM to be able to recognize when the rules are pushing the fiction into uncomfortable territory, and that awareness will then facilitate discussion in the moment of what the table is willing to do to mitigate that

"Hey, GM, the mechanics say that my disabled character should not be able to do this, but that feels bad and like I'm not as useful as the rest of the party." or "Hey guys, this game clearly would reward us for taking this uncomfortable action, but this reeks of [insert social issue here]." No table will be able to solve the game for everyone, but no table should be worried about that. The focus should be on the comfort of the people At That Table, In That Moment.

How would -I- go about it, as a GM? I would assume that, mathematically, a disabled character's "Normal" is on par with an able-bodied character. Conditions that connect to a disability on a flavor level would not be substituted for that disability. If a player wishes to ROLE-PLAY that their disability would negatively affect the NARRATIVE in a scene, I wouldn't hold them back from doing so, but at no point would I attribute a negative roll modifier or bar them from a mechanic for doing so. For Players who intend to role-play the story of an individual OVERCOMING a physical or mental disability, I might offer a small de-buff, but ONLY for that Player, and ONLY if everyone else at the table is comfortable with it. Then I'd dangle an obvious quest with a Feat at the end that "Nuh-uh"s it.

But also, I just wouldn't use 5e or an associated Elfgame to tell those kinds of stories in the first place, but what can ya do.

The Realms I Never Knew

2024-10-16T00:00:00Z

Elminster's Tale"- Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide

Howdy, Farmhands-

I almost didn't blog this at first, wanting the opinions and input of people more learned than me. After typing out the third paragraph into the group discord, though, I knew this would just save everyone's time.

In the same 24 hour period, I encountered two separate author's works of writing that aligned together in a way I can only describe as serendipitous. I want to walk you through my thoughts about them, as something deep and burning within me insists there is something of value to be learned or discussed, if only for my own personal growth as someone with TTRPG opinions.

Firstly, a rabbit hole of blog links lead me to Dwiz' 2019 4-part series "The Differences in Mystara, Greyhawk, and Forgotten Realms". Though my personal history with Dungeons and Dragons didn't BEGIN until late in the same year this series was posted, I still feel a sense of regret that I missed out on it as it was being released. What's important for my current Thought is this: I've never really needed to engage with Mystara or Greyhawk as settings, outside of passing curiosity with D&D's wacky lore. Dwiz' summarization of them; where they shined and what elements needed to be emphasized to fulfill their fantastical conceits, finally gave me a moment to appreciate how "D&D" evolved as a set of fantasy worlds alongside it's mechanical changes. This post was ALSO where I finally understood what the Forgotten Realms as a setting was before it became the de-facto sandbox for every cool dnd concept ever, as Fifth edition expanded and stuffed more and more ideas into it's confines. Having begun my experience with the game in the latter half of 5E's life cycle meant I had only ever seen it as a generic fantasy-land, where all the greatest hits were played.

The second work I found, "Knaves of the Realms" by Seba G. M., took the kindling provided by Dwiz and ignited it into a flame. This series of Tri-fold pamplets, a GM and Player facing duo for running Ben Milton's Knave in the Forgotten Realms setting, and "Knaves in the Mist", a similar supplement for GMs running Knave in Ravenloft, does something incredibly similar to Dwiz's blogposts, in a smaller, more gameable way. They begin with something of a mission statement, declaring which Four or Five key concepts the setting should enforce, and follow with tables and procedures to facilitate a game that makes use of those concepts; even if the system being used wasn't written with those settings in mind.

And this just

Fascinates me.

But it also somewhat concerns me, on a personal level. I am on the record as having significantly negative opinions about Fifth edition D&D, D&D as a brand, and Wizards of the Coast as a company- but a good amount of my vitriol is aimed specifically at the "Just Homebrew It" mentality that has seen countless players become laser focused on only ever playing a game system that isn't designed to support the genres they would like it to. Sure, Knave is a considerably smaller and less mechanically complex system compared to 5e, but Knaves of the Realms rebalances the existing magic system wholly. Is there not an obvious contradiction between my loud and public distaste of a practice and my sudden appreciation of it here? If I were cheeky, I'd say No; but I genuinely don't know.

The distillation of the themes and tone of a fantasy setting down to their basic elements, limiting choices or emulating and promoting the choices of entire other games intrigues me and by highlighting them in their respective works, both Dwiz and Seba manage to endear me to these settings where their official releases have failed to. And my mind races with the possibilities of similar works being made that distill other settings down for use with... Who knows? I've seen conversions of stats and items to allow Vaults of Vaarn to be played with Cairn; but nothing that explains to me why that should excite me. Starfinder is continually marketed to me as THE sci-fi ttrpg, but I don't understand it's lore anymore than I understand actual rocket science. Is there something in this concept that could go beyond specifically adapting these two official D&D settings into this specific OSR game system, something that promotes why these fantasy worlds became remembered so fondly outside the game they were created to sell?

I have no fucking idea.

Until next time,

-Farmer Gadda

The Nether

2024-08-19T00:00:00Z

Welcome to the Underground

Howdy, Farmhands

Yes, The Nether. Yes, like in Minecraft. No, I don't ever tire of making half-baked adaptations of media I enjoy separately from the TTRPG hobby. Here's what a Depthcrawl is. Here's what the Nether is. You're basically all caught up now.

The purpose of introducing such a thing into an OSR game is twofold. Firstly - the option to take a quick kip to HELL is just fun. There's resources and adventures to be had without needing to invest in a whole campaign centered around the setting. Second of all - the Minecraft Nether is famous for its ability to act as a shortcut for travel. In-game, every 1 block is equal to 8, allowing you to blaze (heh) past difficult terrain, so long as you're willing to risk a fiery death in exchange for time saved. In an OSR game where an area may be straight up impassable, a dip into the Nether might get you onto the other side of that mountain range, supposing you survive it.

This post is acting as a sort of proof of concept for now; some things like specific Adventure Sites will need their own pages with internal details, and I'm not about to sit here and write out an entire Minecraft Bestiary. What is going to follow is a series of posts where I take a Nether Biome, either from Vanilla or Modded (and won't that be a fun email to some poor coder, wondering what on earth I'm talking about when I ask permission to use their IP), and produce some simple tables with their unique content. Feel free to use as many or as few of these as you like for your own personal experience. I, for one, will be overloading myself until I burn out from the effort. Heh. Burn.

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

Travel Memoirs of the New Nether: Nether Portal

NETHER TRAVEL DEPTHCRAWL PROCEDURE

Entering the Nether requires an Active Portal, which can be constructed with 10 Obsidian
Once a Portal is constructed, either from the Overworld or generated by Surfacing from within the Nether, it will always deposit the players in the same Biome.
Any table's first venture will begin in the Nether Wastes.
Players enter the Nether with a Depth value of 0.

Roll Locations, Details, and Events to generate an Adventure Site
The players may choose to Stay (Roll Events again), Go Deeper (Increase Depth and Roll all again), Go Back (Decrease Depth and return to the most recent Location), Move Sideways (Retain Depth but Roll all again), or Surface (Leave the Nether)
The Volatile nature of the Nether means it's almost impossible to accurately find specific locations again once you've gone too far from it.

The DM should retain both the Total Depth, and the relative Biome Depth when moving between Biomes. Total Depth is required for calculating the exit point in the overworld, while Biome Depth is required for calculating relevant Locations.

Nether Wastes, via Minecraft.fandom.com/wiki

NETHER WASTES

Description:
   Hot, Dry. Red Stone Caverns, Bubbling Lava flows, Darkness as far as the eye can see.
Resources:
    Always-
        Nether Rack
        Lava
    Sometimes-
        Gold Nugget Ore
        Glowstone
    Rarely-
        Ancient Debris
        Nether Quartz

Location (1d6 + Biome Depth)

Open Field, ripe with golden ore
Open Field, pockmarked with tunnel openings
Open Field, Barren and quiet
High Cliff, you arrive at it's edge
High Cliff, you stand at it's feet
Deep Gorge, you arrive at it's edge
Deep Gorge, you stand at it's feet
Remnants of a Bastion
Entrance to a Nether Fortress
+ Border to another Biome.

Details (1d10)

Glowstone Blobs grow from the Netherrack
The Bones of a large, unidentifiable creature
A slow stream of Lava with (roll Location) on the other side
Large Pillars of Blackstone hold up the ceiling
Volatile Geysers spew steam if disturbed
A minefield of heated Magma blocks
Low flames slowly devour everything
Mushrooms feast on the heated rot
Gravel piles about, disguising deep pits
Roll Twice on this table

Events (1d6)

Normal Encounter
Hint/Clue/Foreshadowing Normal Encounter
Weather Change
2 Factions encounter (Roll Normal Encounter Twice, Roll Demeanor to determine vibe)
Nothing
Nothing

Encounters (1d6)

Piglins (1d6) (Roll Demeanor)
Magma Cube (1d4)
Zombie Piglins (1d4)
Strider (1d2)
Enderman (1d2)
Ghast (1)

Babidra!

2024-08-17T00:00:00Z

Tyrannomon, as seen in
Bandai's Digimon Analyzer

Howdy, Farmhands.

During the Kickstarter campaign of my current ttrpg fixation, Heroes of Cerulea, one of the met stretch goals was for the creation of a proper Third Party License for others to make and sell content compatible with the game. At the time, reading through the unlocked content and my pledge already safely invested, a single thought came unbidden to me and branded it's words into my soul; "I must add Chocobos." Years later, and with the final product in hand, I seek to fulfill this glorious purpose.

There is a number of problems I had to address first, the largest being "how can I shave off the fewest serial numbers without making Square-Enix mad at me," so I sat down to determine what EXACTLY I wanted to include for an experience similar to the one in classic Final Fantasy. Using them as Mounts for easier travel was more or less out. Heroes of Cerulea has no codified rules for Overland Travel. What I had left was "funny bipedal bird fellow" with "Racing?" underlined multiple times in my notebook. But Heroes of Cerula already has the playable Avian Kin, so even the BIRD part of this formula wasn't going to work.

After some tinkering and scrolling pinterest for inspiration, I've settled on combining a Racing minigame with a separate inventory space for storing Items, in the form of a bunch of bumbling little Dino-guys, The Babidra! I hope you like them!

Until Next time,

Farmer Gadda

Disclaimer:

look at these little GOOBERS
Dino Character Sprites by @ArksDigital

BABIDRA

Descendants of the great dragons that hatched at the beginning of the world. Millennia has changed them from gigantic beasts of terror into their current form of short, stumpy armed bird brains. These friendly, though cowardly, reptiles can be found across Cereulea acting as companions or work animals depending on the region's need.

Freshly Hatched Babidra, after imprinting on a Party, can carry 1 Item for the group. Babidra aren't capable of manipulating Items, nor will it partake in any Combat. Lucky for them, Monsters completely ignore Babidra, for reasons that are entirely unclear. It will follow it's Party wherever it goes, but refuses to enter Dungeons. It will bravely wait at the entrance for their Party to defeat the Boss inside, or Game Over and respawn next to them.

Babidra Life Stages

Babidra who have been raised well can grow into a myriad of powerful forms and seem to undergo growth spurts after completing some arbitrary goal in their life. With each advancement to a new life stage, the Babidra's carrying Capacity can be upgraded to a grand total of 4 Slots, though if it reaches adulthood, it can also act as a beast of burden, pulling a Cart with its own storage space.

Digiegg model found Here

EGG: It's an Egg. When it hatches, roll on the tables below to generate its appearance.
BEGINNER : A weak and inexperienced little Babidra. Beginner Babidra don't fully know how to use their bodies efficiently, swinging their arms haphazardly while they try to keep from tripping over their own two feet. They have a roundness to them that makes them cute while fumbling about, and it's hard to be upset when they make mistakes. They are about the size of an Elf Toddler.
Inventory Slot: 1
NOVICE : A more energetic Babidra, having gained confidence from its first victory. Novice Stage Babidra retain their stumpy forms, but begin to lean into their forward momentum for better aerodynamics. Their size increases to that of a large dog, or tall Seedling.
Inventory Slot: 2
ATHLETE : A Babidra that has tasted success and desires more. Athlete Babidra become lankier, with longer tails and stronger legs, gaining enough height to match an adult Elf. Their stance begins to reflect the bestial nature of their heritage.
Inventory Slot: 3
Capable of Equipping [LARGE CART]
OLYMPIAN : A fully grown Babidra. Now towering over the average Elf by at least a head, the Babidra looks and moves like the predator it's ancestors once were. Fully capable of carrying both Cerulean party members and pulling wheeled vehicles, it is a formidable and useful member of any group. Sadly, despite its size and intimidating looks, it's still the same scaredy-cat baby it was when it first hatched.
Inventory Slot: 4

This Babidra is (Appearance Table, "Heroes of Cerulea", pg 13) with (Markings Table), (Backspines Table) Backspikes, and a (Snoot Table) Snout.

d4	Marking	Backspike	Snoot
1	Spots	Spiky	Narrow
2	Stripes	Rounded	Square
3	Light Underbelly	Frilled	Round
4	No Marks	Plate	Horned

RUN, LITTLE GUYS, RUN!

DRACORACING

The most common method of guiding a Babidra through it's life stages is the formation of The DracoRace, a stadium that hosts racing tournaments for Babidra to compete in. (And Ceruleans to bet on.) Each DracoRace has it's own stipulations for entering, but all play out the same.

Each DracoRace consists of 5 DracoRacers, 4 Rivals and the Party's Babidra. Number the Rivals 1–4 based on their starting position. There are 4 Laps, during which the Party's Babidra must finish in First Place to advance to the next Dracorace. Each Lap, Players take turns rolling a minimum of 4d4 and comparing the number of MATCHING results to the Results table. Dracosnacks, purchasable at the Stadium before a Dracorace, can be spent to entice your Babidra to move faster, adding 1d4 to the pool per Dracosnack spent, before the pool is rolled.

No Matches = The Babidra falls behind 1 position
2 Matching = The Babidra retains its position
3 Matching = The Babidra moves ahead a position
4 Matching - The Babidra moves ahead 2 positions

After the Party's Babidra's position is resolved, compare the Lowest value on the Dice Rolled and move that Rival back a Position. Compare the Highest value on the Dice Rolled and move that Rival forward a position.

(What happens if the Party's Babidra moved from 2nd into 1st with 4 Matching, and the Rival in 2nd moves forward? Assume that the "two spaces" your Babidra moved prevents its Rival from surpassing it.)

List of DracoRaces

Beginner's Jog
req. 5 Gem Entry
Starting Position: 1st
Novice's Sprint
req. 10 Gem Entry
Unlocks after 1/3rd Trinity Shards collected
Starting Position: 2nd
Athlete's Dash
req. 20 Gem Entry
Unlocks after 2/3rd Trinity Shards collected
Starting Position: 3rd
Olympian's Marathon
req. 50 Gem Entry
Unlocks after acquiring all pieces of the Trinity
Starting Position: 4th

Olympian Status

After completing all 4 DracoRaces, you are known as an Olympian, able to participate in any race as a Rival for novice Babidra. You may race to your heart's content, placing down any Gem amount you wish as your entry fee and receiving a price of Gems equal to your fee multiplied by your placing. To determine your starting position for these races, simply roll a d4.

1st Place: x3
2nd Place: x2
3rd Place: x1
4th or Last: No Prize

And Just One More Thing...

It wouldn't do for me to dangle this idea in front of you and then not tell you where to go to encounter it! Should I ever reconfigure these blogs into something prettier for itch, I'll expand the below entry to include the Racing Minigame mechanics listed above. Have a new Overworld Area, on the house!

▸DRACORACE STADIUM (H10)

   ▸A Colosseum, built of Sandstone
   ▸A dusty racetrack in its center
   ▸A wooden stall set up by the entry

     THE BABIDRA-TTENDANT
      ▸Middle aged Geon Salesman
           ▪Handles Entry Fees for the DracoRaces
            ▪Offers DracoSnacks for 10 Gems Each
            ▪Has a Babidra Egg that is about to hatch

Songs for Heroes of Cerulea

2024-08-14T00:00:00Z

My mother didn't live to regret forcing me to take
piano lessons, so that honor goes to you ig

Howdy, Farmhands!

So, Music. Music is like. A core element of video games. Especially Zelda video games.

I'm gonna be honest that's the entire premise of this post. I wanted to add Songs to Heroes of Cerulea.

Here ya go.

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda <3

Disclaimer:

SONGS OF MAGIC

A piece of music that, when played with intent, causes a reaction in the world around you. Known Songs can only be played with an Instrument in the player's Inventory, and when the unique limitation for the song are met. Songs exist outside traditional player Inventories, and it is presumed if One member learns the song, the rest of the Party is aware of it as well. Keep a list of Learned Songs' names and effects for future reference.

[NAME OF SONG], limitation
"Effect"

Third Creator's Hymn, req. Mysterious Statue, n/a Risky or Danger

Played to a Mysterious Statue. The words of the youngest of the Creator Dragons will answer 1 question honestly, then fade away. If used again, the Statue will hum along, but ignore any questions.

Song of Slumber, cost 1 Energy, 1 Round

1d4 Monsters fall into a supernatural sleep until awoken by an Attack. Once this song has been used on a Monster, they are immune to falling for it again.

Ode to Quill Town, cost 1 Energy, n/a Risky or Danger

A plucky tune that reminds you of a Duck's waddle.
Teleports a Party to the center of Quill Town.

(Songs that affect Monsters ought to cost Energy, and only be usable once per combat to prevent cheesing. Songs that affect the geography of the world for puzzle solving should be free, but require the Players not be in combat. Songs that allow for Fast Travel or other QOL features should both cost energy and require the Players not be in combat, but ONLY affect Party Members.)

INSTRUMENTS

An Item in your inventory that allows you to perform a Song of Magic. Once a Song of Magic is learned, players may purchase an Instrument for 30 Gems from Shops in Villages.

    Elf: Flute, Oboe, Ocarina
    Avian: Accordian, Bagpipe
    Aquarian: Violin, Guitar, Harp
    Geon: Drum, Maraca, Rainstick
    Seedling: Trumpet, Saxophone, French Horn
    Felian: Harmonica, Jaw Harp, Jug

(An "Instrument" doesn't have to make noise in a traditional sense! Consider offering Wrist Bangles or Ribbons as Instruments that turn Songs of Magic into Dances!)

COMPOSING A SONG

Roll DD, 2d4 times. You are allowed to pull any combination of notes from the pool to create a simple melody, which repeats twice. A closing phrase of notes may be freehanded to complete the song, though this isn't required for gameplay.

DD

11-12 : C

13-14 :D

21-22 : E

23-24 :F

31-32: G

33-34: A

41-42: B

43-44: High C

Example:

I rolled a 7 on 2d4, then roll DD 7 times to produce: B, E, High C, C, E, High C, High C (or just C, E, B, High C). Playing around in a Virtual Piano app, I found that Starting from the first rolled Note, B, and bouncing up and down the remaining notes made for a haunting little waltz; (B, E-High C, C) useful for the Song of Three Crows I'll eventually teach to my players when they find the right spot in the Gloomwood.

Dabloons and Hint Merchants

2024-08-06T00:00:00Z

I've been given this power and am about
to make it everyone else's problem

Howdy, Farmhands!

Blackfisk Publishing released the 3rd Party License for works based on Lucas Falk's "Heroes of Cerulea," ahead of the game's public release and promised Itch.io Jam. I'm already super in love with the base game, and cannot wait for there to be additional content to fill out the empty spaces of it's overworld map. So much so, that I started working on this project the same day my kickstarter backer physical copy finally arrived at my door!

The issue was in finding a foothold for which to insert anything new. Heroes of Cerulea is a game that flirts with being a Capsule Game, where both the game mechanics and campaign setting are cleanly laid out for you with limited room for expansion. There really isn't much the game system NEEDS outside what's already offered, barring those un-written squares on the World Map. I've chosen to come at this from the other direction, then. Instead of asking "What does this video-game adaptation need to be a better ttrpg", I'm wondering "What does this ttrpg need to be a better video-game adaptation?"

Heroes of Cerulea wears it's inspiration as a badge of honor, emulating the screen-crawly dungeon games of the 8 bit era. A time before internet and google, with secrets shared across the school yard at recess with no way to vet any of the information other than trying it out for yourself. I've decided to try and re-create the experience of having little but some cryptic dialogue from an in-game npc and your own common sense to try and figure out the game world.

One thing before I begin, though- ahem

This is an independent production, unaffiliated with Lucas Falk and Blackfisk Publishing, published through the Heroes of Cerulea Third Party License. Heroes of Cerulea is copyright Lucas Falk and Blackfisk Publishing.

Until next time,

Farmer Gadda

Dabloons And Hint Merchants

"Pawprint Coin" by JB-Pawstep (Deviantart)

Dabloons are a coin-based currency with a Paw Print design, found in Standard Loot in place of a Heart (33-34) when the PC is at full hearts. Alternatively, a reward for re-completing mini-games. The pool is marked seperately from the Character sheet, shared amongst the total party, and any member can choose to "spend" them with Felain the Hint Merchant in exchange for a Hint

The Hint Merchant: A furry, cat-like NPC from a distant land. Curious to a fault, and willing to share what they've heard for a Shiny Dabloon. They will appear outside of dungeons if the party leaves after completing at least 1 Room, or Restarts after a Game Over.

)

"A Wizard Cat" by heikala (Deviantart

"Ny'ah-ha-ha! I found you, Travelers!"

Hint Merchant's Shop

Price	Result
1 Dabloon	Random Hint
4 Dabloons	Choose a Hint

If the Party rolls or asks for something they've already learned, the Hint Merchant will respond, "I think you already Nyow that :3c" and return their Dabloons.

Hint Table

DD	Hint	Dialogue
11-14	Challenge	"Ny'ey there, Travelers! Did you see that (Puzzle Type) in Room (Room Letter)? [Puzzle Description Table]."
21-22	Monster Type	"Nya? Those tracks... I bet they mean a (Monster) is in this dungeon!"
23-24	Monster Heart	"Nya? Are you scared of the [Monster Description]? Don't worry, (X) bonks ought'a take care of them!"
31	Mini-boss Lore	"Nya've you heard the Rumors about (Mini-Boss Monster)? [Tall Tales Table] Or at least, that's what -I- heard~"
32-33	Mini-boss Hearts	"Nya-ha-ha! Ny'aving a hard time with (Mini-Boss Monster)? Don't worry, (X) smacks ought'a do it."
34	Mini-boss Special Attack	Be careful, Travelers! (Mini-Boss Monster)'s Special Attack might (Description of Special Attack)
41	Boss Lore	"Nya've you heard the Tale of (Boss Monster?) [Tall Tale Table]! Or at least, that's what -they're- saying! Nya-ha!""
42	Boss Hearts	"Nya-ha-ha! Ny'aving a hard time with (Boss Monster)? Don't worry, (X) good whacks ought'a do it.
43	Boss Weakness	"Nya've you heard? (Boss Monster) can be beaten easily if you [Weakness Table ("Heroes of Cerulea", pg.27)]!"
44	Boss Special Attack	Oh Ny'o! Watch out for (Boss Monster)'s Special Attack! It'll (Description of Special Attack)

Puzzle Table

Puzzle Type	Dialogue
Mini-Boss	(Use Unused Dialogue from Mini-Boss Heart or Special Attack response)
Monster	(Use Dialogue from Monster Type or Hearts response)
Switch Puzzle	"There's gotta be some sorta pushy-pully-switchy thing somewhere to activate it. I wonder what'll nya'ppen when you do?"
Push Puzzle	(Push a Block) "I feel like a Block is out of place... Can you guess which one?" (Rotate a Statue) "Ny'a-ha-ha! That Statue's facing the wrong way! Ny'a? Which one?" (North facing) "I'll Never tell!" (East facing) "It's Easy to guess!" (South facing) "Sadly, I can't say!" (West facing) "I Wonder if you'll figure it out!" (Rearrange blocks in a particular pattern) "Ny'a gotta place 'em in a pattern, see? Start with (First Block Location) and finish with (Last Block Location), you can figure out the rest!"
Brazier Puzzle	(Light all Braziers) "Make it bright, light 'em up, get your shine on!" (Extinguish all braziers) "Tone it down, dim the lights, make it moody~" (Light braziers in a pattern) "Ny'a gotta light em in order, see? Start with (First Brazier) and finish with (Last Brazier), you can figure out the rest!"
Teleport Puzzle	(Activate Teleporters in a specific order) "Ny'a gotta activate them in order, see? Start with (First Teleporter) and finish with (Last Teleporter), you can figure out the rest!" (Find the Correct Path) "I bet it's frustrating, huh? Ny'ow, how did the order go again...?" (North facing) "I'll Never tell!" (East facing) "It's Easy to guess!" (South facing) "Sadly, I can't say!" (West facing) "I Wonder if you'll figure it out!"
Hidden Door	"No? Well, that's why it's called a 'Hidden Door Puzzle', silly! Take another look around, you'll find it!"
Key in Chest	"I bet the Key is lying around somewhere; have you checked every Chest in the Dungeon?"
Key on a Monster	"I'm sure something's run off with the Key. Go bother the Monsters until one of them coughs it up!"
Key from a puzzle	"I figure the Key will be around somewhere. Maybe solve another Puzzle first and you'll find it?"
Elevation Obstacle	"Unlike you, Travelers, I always land on my feet and have no problem leaping up to high places. Come with you? Help you throw down a rope or set up a ladder? Ny'o Thanks, I'm fine out here, Nya-ha-ha!"
Wall Obstacle	"Two opposites usually cancel each other out! I wonder, what's the opposite of (Obstacle Theme)?"
Liquid Obstacle	"Every tub has a drain, probably. I wonder if the trigger is even in the same room, though..."
Darkness Obstacle	"I bet if you had a LANTERN, you'd be able to see better. There's gotta be a switch for the Lights somewhere, though!"

Monster Descriptor

The Hint Merchant will describe Monsters without their name outright, using a trio of words based on the monster's vibe. For example, a Rat would be called a "furry-sneaky-squeaky", while a Slime would be called a "gloopy-jello-fellow". Try to come up with something silly in the moment instead of preparing these ahead of time, for the humor of putting yourself on the spot and having to accept whatever you get.

Tall Tales

DD	Tale
11	"One time, this Monster got chased by a guy wearing just his pants and brandishing a tree branch, and he TOTALLY beat them up. They don't really like talking about it."
12	They found a magic hat that makes them tiny- they're normally twice this size!"
13	"They tried to jump on top of a flying bird and missed! I'm sure they're still embarrassed about that landing!"
14	"It's always looking for a dog it can take on a walk. I didn't know Monsters kept pets..."
21	"They used to be friends with a talking sword! It doesn't talk anymore because it's run low on 'batteries,' whatever those are."
22	"They have a shining golden treasure they keep as a reward for helpful people! It's shaped like a... well, maybe you wouldn't really want it."
23	"It fell down a well once! Nobody really knows what went on down there, but afterwards, it seems super scared of it's own shadow!"
24	"It's got a cool looking rock shaped like a puzzle piece on one side! I bet if you found the matching half, it'd want to be your friend! Or not."
31	"It had a dream once... about an island and a giant egg... It said it felt so real..."
32	"It tried it's hand at being a Pirate at sea! Sadly, the crew loaded it up into a barrel and flung it back to shore."
33	"It sings a gentle tune to itself sometimes, then looks sad. Maybe it's a song shared by a friend, long ago?"
34	"They used to be a Werewolf. Don't worry, they got better."
41	"It SWEARS it saw an Italian man jump through a painting and just disappear! Yeah right. Everyone knows only Ghost Horses can do that."
42	"It fought a brave knight in brilliant metal armor and lost handily. Then the knight removed her helmet and it was like WHOAH, WHAT A BABE!"
43	"It likes to play make believe with the people it meets, but only if they play the bad guy."
44	"It tried to steal some Monkey's bananas once. They caught it and threw it in the Slamma."

And Just One More Thing...

As a Reward for collecting a grand total of 40 Dabloons, your table can unlock a new Player Option for your table! Now anyone can play a cat-folk whenever they please!

    ▸Felain. Furry, cat-like humanoid hailing from a distant land.
        ▪Special: You can spend 1 ENERGY to make a high pounce and STUN one Monster (not boss) for one ROUND
        ▪Starting Weapon: wooden stave

"Nya-ha-ha! So long, Travelers~ :3c"

This blogpost is soon to be made available in a prettier, fancier pdf format, in both color and print. The content is identical between the post and pdf releases, but if you want the information in a slightly more convenient and professional looking format, consider purchasing it at the link below:

Dabloons & Hint Merchants by farmergadda

Rubberwho - A Player Option for the SANIC Hack

2024-07-31T00:00:00Z

Wakka Wakka

This post is part of a series of Blogs where I work on my home-ruleset, 'The Sanic Hack.' You may or may not gain better comprehension from reading the other posts in this series.

PREV/NEXT

Howdy, Farmhands.

This was sitting almost complete in my drafts for two months, just waiting for someone to complain loudly enough that I hadn't posted anything about the Sanic hack in a while.

This one's for you, whiny little baby.

Till next time,

Farmer Gadda

RUBBERWHO

Rubberwho are a group of vibrantly colored, cartoonish folk. Their bodies are extra pliable, with skin like rubber and limbs that can streeeeeeeetch! Their physique and properties allows them to be incredibly mobile, with architecture built for primarily Rubberwho societies featuring long lengths of tubes, slides, and trampolines that would give other Kinds trouble. Despite the number of large family units choosing to settle among human-centric cities on the mainland, Rubberwho are adaptable enough to live comfortably anywhere that isn't too cold, and it isn't a stretch (heh) to find solitary Rubberwho happily added to a Furkind's pack.

NAMES

Rubberwho traditionally retain strong familial ties, with a single naming convention being adapted into the names of every additional member. This could mean a shared surname, similar to Humans, or a phonetic syllable repeated across multiple forenames. Solitary Rubberwho may choose names that, when combined, create a sort of pun or word association.

(I.e. The Smiths; Mac, Jack, and Plaque; Trom Bone)

COLOR AND SHAPE

Rubberwho can mold their bodies into almost any shape they want, choosing their form based on personal preference. Most tend to stick to simple geometric shapes, but some give themselves pseudo hair, ears, or other facial features. Sure, people read into their choices, make some assumptions about who they are based on their appearance, but are they accurate to the person inside? (That is, in fact, the joke.)

How do you choose to let the world PERCEIVE you?

d6	Color	Shape
1	Red The color of Power and Passion. Red Rubberwho are known for their aggression and short tempers. They may come across as irrational and difficult, or easy to mislead.	Ball The most common shape of the Rubberwho, simple to maintain and easily recognizable. They appear soft and nondescript, making an individual easy to overlook in a crowd.
2	Orange The color of Stability and Warmth. Orange Rubberwho are called the homemakers of the world, always ready to listen and offer comfort. As an extension of their gentle nature, it's said that Orange Rubberwho are uniquely skilled at handling children and wild creatures.	Cube Sharp right angles and smooth, even planes make up all 8 corners of a Cube Rubberwho. They have a reputation for being stubborn and difficult to talk to, and it's said that an opposing group of them are impossible to negotiate with.
3	Yellow The color of Youth and Joy. Yellow Rubberwho are seen as childish or naive, with cutesy personalities. They may appear to be unknowledgeable about complex topics, or unable to remember details.	Objectual Usually an offshoot of Ball or Cube shaping, Objectual Rubberwho emulate a physical object as a form of self-expression. It can be as simple as including a "leaf" to look like an Apple, or adding bumps and divots to replicate a computer monitor. This decision is considered quirky and trendy by most.
4	Green The color of Safety and Success. Green Rubberwho are considered trustworthy, but shrewd. It is commonly believed that any bet taken by a Green Rubberwho is sure to have a modest return.	Humanoid While every Rubberwho has qualities comparable to Humans and Furkind, some take it a step further by replicating Human physique. This appears in the presentation of a more detailed torso, a head separated from the main body by a proper neck, and extraneous body parts like ears and hair.
5	Blue The color of Melancholy and Calm. Blue Rubberwho have long been known for their emotional stability and ability to help shoulder burdens. Their coloration symbolizes rain in many cultures, so a soothing nature that washes away worries is expected of them.	Quadruped An inverse of Humanoid, many Rubberwho take inspiration from creatures, adding features like snouts, tails, and ears. Most choose to emulate an animal that exists within their local environment for efficiency purposes. Unfortunately, these forms come with the expectations of behavior similar to the creature being emulated, with Quadruped Rubberwho being labeled wild or feral.
6	Purple The color of Prestige and Refinement. Purple Rubberwho are assumed to have a strong sense of duty, with an air of authority to back it up. Being natural leaders in society, their taste in quality is never to be doubted.	Conceptual Rarest, but most notable, Conceptual Rubberwho base their appearances on ideas over objects, attempting to express themes such as 'Dreams' or 'Hope' with their shape. These Rubberwho choose vague designs for their bodies, emulating the fluffiness of clouds or the shining points of a star as part of their overall presentation. The Rubberwho themselves frequently describe this practice as freeing, but outsiders describe them as pretentious.

TECHNIQUE

All The World's A Stage - You play into the perception of people around you, triggering a new Reaction Roll from any NPCs nearby. Roll 1d4; your DM will inform you of the results if you were to add or subtract that number from the Reaction table result, and you choose which you take. This Technique only works once on any given group of NPCs per day.

BLESSING

Unlike Furkind, who's blessings are chosen at the whims of the planet, Rubberwho inherit their special abilities from their ancestors, rarely deviating from generation to generation. This means that their pranks and bits can be iterated on for decades, with each successive Rubberwho continuing the work of their forefathers.

What BLESSING have you inherited from those who came before you?

d6	Blessing (Refer to This Blog Post)
1	Reach
2	Form
3	Iron Stomach
4	Cloud
5-6	Elements

There SHOULD only be One - Exclusive Class-as-Hirelings Options for OSR Games

2024-07-27T00:00:00Z

Considering a third of this image is "blue haired anime guy with sword",
it might not be the most appropriate to the topic but oh well.
-Fire Emblem Heroes Official Art

Not So Recently, I read SandroAD's blogpost, "Hirelings as Specialists." It's less of a gameable system, and more of a proof of concept for turning existing fantasy game skill sets into hireable NPCs, and thus allowing Players to access those abilities without needing to be of that class themselves. Slightly More Recently, I went down a bit of a Rabbit hole, beginning with Joshy Mcroo's blogpost, "A Campaign Where There Is One Of Anything." As the title suggests, it posits a fantasy world in which concepts, classes, monsters and the like are singular and rare. It's part of a longer discussion among multiple blogs, some helpfully listed at the end of Mcroo's post, about the nature of Monsters, the banality of 'generic' fantasy concepts, and ways to mitigate those issues. With both of these blogposts rattling about in the empty space where my brain should be, they were bound to eventually collide, which is where I find myself today.

In a game where There Is One of Anything, especially if Player Options are also uniquely limited, there comes a question of how literal that One is. Having The Bard doesn't mean there are no other sassily homoerotic lute players roaming the lands and getting gigs at taverns. Having The Witch doesn't mean the concept of a full Coven is an alien one. The impetus on creating a world Where There Is One of Anything is a matter of focus. Yes, there are "Paladins", knights that swear oaths to a higher power and follow a code of conduct. But for the purposes of your adventure? Your characters? Your party? There is only one that truly matters. Only one whose purpose and goals are truly divine in nature, and who's decisions will alter the path of history (or at least, do so where your players can see them).

Expanding on SandroAD's concept of placing class features into a hireable npc to feature multiple classes is fairly simple. The Specialist Point system they posit would need tweaking and balancing, but the base concept is sound. Each Hireling has a set of abilities with a point cost, which the players can trigger once a Dungeon Turn by paying it. There are a handful of passive abilities that make just having the Hireling come along a good choice, even if you never use their Point abilities in that specific dungeon. I could open any edition of DnD, blur my eyes, and come up with a bunch of these in one go.

For a DM who runs multiple campaigns, especially those with overlapping players, this system might already sound like an utter wash. Do you just make 12 NPCs, one for each core class, and reuse those over and over? Isn't that??? Boring? And to that I say no, not really. For starters, while Sandro details a specific Thief in his blogpost, none of the mechanical abilities are tied to that character's species, personality, or toolkit. I think this should be left alone on purpose. By keeping the mechanics the same (i.e. all thieves across games have the same abilities), but changing the context in which those abilities came to be, you create a familiarity with the Rules and their use, while creating a new social challenge for your players to overcome in order to attain them. Rannie the Human Thief may actively want to work for the Party in one game, while Yoseph, the Dwarf Thief might actively dislike a member of the party in another game. If the players already know what they will gain by convincing Yoseph to put aside their differences, they may choose to invest more time in that character in the hopes they can add his abilities to their toolkit.

Example: The Alchemist

    (1) Acid Splash - The Alchemist can set a trap using their questionable ingredients to damage foes or infrastructure. (1d4)
    (1) Identify Poison - The Alchemist can test a substance for negative effects, declaring the properties and means to nullify them
    (1) Chug Jug - Regardless of turn order, if The Alchemist can physically reach a PC, they can use a Potion from either's inventory on the PC.
    (3) Quick Brew - In a pinch, The Alchemist can just throw something together, they can create a slapdash Potion of 1d6 efficiency. - Roll d6, on a 1 they only manage a 1d2 Potion

Passives:
    - For every day spent alone during Downtime, The Alchemist has a 1 in 6 chance of brewing a Potion of 1d6 efficiency. The potion has a random effect and must be accounted for in a PC's inventory or sold at the end of the Downtime action
    - The Alchemist has textbook knowledge of medicinal plants and minerals used in potion making, and can ascertain the location of most ingredients, should they be needed.

Additional Thoughts:

- Starting from the 12 core dnd 5e classes would be a good start, but what of subclasses? If you have a "Ranger" NPC, would you want to treat "Beastmaster" as a separate entity, or randomly choose WHICH Ranger is in this specific game? With a handful of triggerable abilities and some passives, this makes homebrewing additional content in fairly simple, but where do you draw the line?

- Perhaps adding in a Gacha system of sorts, with basic Classes being more common to find, and the wilder concepts being rarer? Or throwing caution to the wind and letting the Power Ranger and Super Saiyan NPCs show up when the dice or story say they do.

- Like stated in Mcroo's post; these NPCs can just exist in the world as well. Use them as Masters to train with to learn one of their abilities as a PC, have them be shopkeeps with their abilities for sale, make them quest-givers or leaders of their own factions. The players should be aware of when they meet The One Class of the campaign, but they don't all Need to be Hireable.

Gotcha'! - Capture Monster Friends for Old School Gaming

2024-06-15T00:00:00Z

Life's just better with friends at your side.
Doubly so if they're Magical Pets.

Recently, I read Dwiz's blogpost, The Genres OSR Can't Do. I must admit, I sort of expected a listicle of weird media that have nothing in common with european medieval fantasy, with the unspoken reasons they wouldn't work within the expected framework of OSR left for the reader to assume. Gaze upon me, for I am Boo-Boo the Fool. A better blogger than I, Dwiz instead specifies what each genre offers that might intrigue a ttrpg player in the first place, detailing what he feels sets them apart from other genres in an appreciative tone. Sure, the OSR as is probably can't support it without crossing it's eyes a little and unfocusing, but that's no reason to build a wall and forever cordon them off from your tables. Even with the examples Dwiz puts forth, there have already been instances in the ttrpg scene where individuals attempt to make OSR Hacks to emulate those genres.

To me and my twisted little gremlin mind, this almost sounds like a challenge. Also, God is dead and Life is short, so why not give it a shot.

To that end, I decided to take something I'm fairly familiar with, and take a swing at jamming it into an OSR/POSR/NSR-ish experience: Magical Monster Buddies and How To Catch Them. I'm a big Digimon fan, and you can't be one of those without also being intimately aware of how Pokemon works, so I'd say I'm pretty well-rounded. Goblin Punch took a swing at putting the Pokemon experience into a Wizard-ish Class, which certainly is a way to do it; but I'm imagining something a smidge more modular, something to be placed over your system's existing mechanics and procedures without replacing them directly.

RELIC/ARCANA/MAGIC ITEM: "GOTCHA PAWN"

very best dot gif

A hollow sphere made of a marble-like material that separates into equal halves. Magically stores or summons a single Bonded Creature at will. While inside the Pawn, Bonded Creatures are placed in a pseudo-stasis, aware of external events, but stabilized in time until summoned. Should a Bonded Creature fall to or below Zero HP at any time, they will be instantly stored within the Gotcha Pawn, stabilized until medical help can be offered.

To bond a creature to a Pawn, the creature must be a Sentient Non-Humanoid capable of consenting to the ritual. Once completed, both the Creature and it's Bonded PC can activate the storage or summoning function of the Pawn at will. The bond will be broken should the Pawn ever be destroyed, freeing both members from its responsibilities, unless a new Pawn is used to reinstate it.

BONDED CREATURES

Monsters rule, actually

Stat as Hireling. If your system of choice includes armor and weapons, roll their values into the base creature's abilities. Choose 1 thematic beginner level spell, the creature can cast it innately. While not requiring payment, like most Hireling rules suggest, Bonded Creatures instead require an equivalent amount of daily rations to keep happy.

Creatures should not be capable of using weapons and tools, though they should gain the positive effects of armor they wear. If using a game with a Slot-based Inventory system, halve the expected number of slots for a PC.

Orders & Quick Orders

On your Turn in Combat, you may use your Main Action to give a simple Order to your Bonded, which they will attempt to complete to the best of their ability. (i.e. "Run Away!" is easier to follow than "Dodge under his legs and escape out the North door")

You may instead use your Movement or Free Action (talking) to give a Quick Order, however it won't be as commanding. The DM will roll the Bonded's response on their Obedience Die.

Obedience Die

If a Bonded Creature is given an Order that is too complex or hurried, the DM will roll a die and compare it to the table below. The value of this die begins at a d6, but may be increased to a higher die size via a Downtime Action.

Result	Effect
1	REBEL/INVERT
2	IGNORE/BE DISTRACTED
3	RETREAT/FLEE
4	REPEAT PREV. ORDER
5+	OBEY ORDER

DMs should feel free to temporarily lower your Obedience Die Sizes in relation to behavior at the table. Using your pikachard as a meat shield too often will naturally make it less likely to listen to you.

DOWNTIME ACTION: CREATURE TRAINING

I refuse to raise an uneducated 'mon

For Downtime spent primarily on Training your Bonded, roll a WIS save against the Creature. On a success, the Obedience Die is temporarily increased 1 Size until the next Downtime. After 3 successful Downtime Actions, the increase becomes permanent.

Creatures may also gain the benefits of Downtime Actions available at the table, such as Stat Improvement, Learning Spells, and Carousing. (please don't lead your pikachard to drink)

EVOLUTION:

IMMA' MOTHER FUCKING TEEEEEEE-REX!!!

At a Milestone, Bonded Creatures gain a new form unattainable in the wild.

Roll 1d20 against each Stat, increasing them by 1 on a success.
Learn to innately cast 1 thematic Spell of the PC's choosing.
Decrease the Obedience Die by 1 Size.
If the Evolution occurs mid-combat, heal the Bonded Creature by the difference between their previous and new Max HP values.

What constitutes a Milestone depends on the system at your table, but in the abscence of a leveling mechanic or story-based progression, consider the first time a Bonded Creature's Obedience Die is permanently increased to a d10, d12, and d20 as milestones.

Extra Notes

   The availability of Magic Items in your system/setting greatly determines how accessible any of this is. Are Gotcha Pawns purchasable? Expensive? Lost Relics of which only a few remain? Perhaps the Bonded Creatures in your setting are limited to Elemental Spirits, prebonded to a Pawn and waiting for a Hero to find them?

   I personally would limit the available Gotcha Pawns, filled or empty, to 3 to a PC. Being able to only issue a single Order per Round balances out the convenience of a magical pet in combat, but trying to keep track of more than 2 positions on a grid will slow down the game considerably.

   As Evolution potentially increases a Bonded Creature's stat, Evolution is triggered by a Milestone tied to the Obedience Die, and increasing the Obedience Die requires a Downtime Action Save against a Bonded Creature's stat, there SHOULD be a slight, but noticable increase of time/difficulty in achieving further evolutions. I personally wouldn't go any granular than this, but as with anything you find in an OSR blogpost, feel free to season to taste.

The SANIC Hack Part 6 - Weapons and Mastery

2024-05-29T00:00:00Z

Wispon Concept Art for Sonic Forces

This post is part of a series of Blogs where I work on my home-ruleset, 'The Sanic Hack.' You may or may not gain better comprehension from reading the other posts in this series.

PREV/NEXT

Howdy, Farmhands.

I like to think that my posts in this series up to this point have been somewhat novel. TTRPG blogs tend to cover a lot of the same ground, which is not a critique or complaint- there's a limited number of tried and true topics that everyone ought to take a whack at. Meanwhile, I've been over here talking about Sanics and Soda and whatever other nonsense passes through my twisted little mind. Today, I'm giving you a list of Weapon stats and expecting you to ooh and aah in all the right places. I promise we'll get through this. Stay strong.

PART 1: I ESTABLISH A BASELINE OF WHAT TO EXPECT WITH THE AFORE-MENTIONED LIST OF WEAPON STATS

Weapons in this hack are made up of 3 things, Category, Damage Die, and Damage Type. Damage Die is the simplest; ranging from d4 to d12, and rerolled with every Attack. Attacks in Odd-likes Auto-hit, meaning that most of your math will be done calculating how the damage die is modified by the environment you're using it in.

Damage Type is a bit more interesting. Maybe a bit too interesting. Consider yourself lucky; I have had to physically restrain myself from creating a full-on Pokemon Type Chart for this. I think what I've landed on is still good. Instead of having pre-determined interactions between an exhaustive list of types, I intend to make use of the existing Enhance/Impair mechanic found in Cairn and a good dollop of Common sense.

If fighting from a position of weakness (such as through cover or with bound hands), the attack is impaired and the attacker must roll 1d4 damage regardless of the attacks damage die.

If fighting from a position of advantage (such as against a helpless foe or through a daring maneuver), the attack is enhanced, allowing the attacker to roll 1d12 damage instead of their normal die. - Cairn, as usual

Damage Types, then, are an opportunity to have visible triggers for Impairment or Enhancement of attacks. Fighting against a Wood Creature with a Fire type Weapon? Of course that's Enhanced. Trying to slice your Sword through something covered in Metal? Probably gonna be Impaired, bud. While every table is different, and some players may not be willing to take the lead on determining whether their character does LESS damage, I like the idea of the GM and Players working together to establish these interactions through play. Player A was Impaired the last time they tried to use Arrows against a Water Creature, so Player B innately assumes the same without the GM needing to add that tidbit to every Water Creature Statblock in their notes.

The core Damage Types I'm currently considering are-

Slashing - Generic Sword Damage
Piercing - Stabbing, mostly
Clobbering - Any sort of blunt or heavy impact
Explosion - When things go BOOM

And of course, we need Elements, but these I'm not considering to be quite as exhaustive as the core types. These can be paired with or used in absence of the core Damage types.

Fire
Water
Electric
Rock
Psionic
Laser
etc

The final component of a Weapon is it's Category, a classification that works as shorthand for additional mechanics and range. Generally these will be grouped by shape and function. A Katana and Fencing Rapier would both be "Sword" Category; with their differentiation in use conveyed via their Damage Types. Maybe some enemy statblocks could specify a weakness to an entire weapon category instead, but I'm not going to hardcode that into place. Some example categories include-

Category Name	Category Description
Sword	Swords, Clubs, Hilted weapons with a specific end you hit with. All Swords can perform a Flourish as a Technique, adding 1d4 to their attack if successful at the risk of taking Fatigue on a failure.
Polearm	Staves, Spears, and the like. All Polearms have double the reach of other Melee weapons, but do 1 die size smaller to foes that are too close
Dagger	Daggers, Knives, Throwing Stars. All Daggers have two sets of Damage Die, one for Melee and one for Ranged, as they can be thrown. The intended use of the specific dagger will determine which is mechanically optimal.
Gun	Any weapon that discharges an object as ammunition. Yes, Bows count as guns. All Guns are exclusively ranged weapons, unable to be properly fired at melee range. They also tend to have higher die sizes compared to weapons of the same quality class. The trade-off is their need to Reload- whenever a Gun rolls max damage, it becomes jammed, emptied, or otherwise unusable. A PC can use their action next turn to clear it, returning it to use the turn following.
Buster	Any ranged weapon that discharges energy as ammunition. Usually mounted on one's forearm. All Busters can Charge as an action, sacrificing a turn to add an additional Damage die to their next attack.
Bomb	Anything that goes Boom. All Bombs deal damage with Blast, affecting every target in an area around it. All Bombs require 2 turns to trigger, one to Activate it (lighting it's fuse, setting it's timer, etc) and another to Ignite. All activated Bombs will automatically ignite at the start of the Activator's next turn.

Putting these three Components together creates a ton of interesting Weapon options! The tried and true options are available, but what about a Sword that does Clobbering Damage? Daggers that do Explosion damage when thrown? What would those even look like? And more important to the game I'm writing- what choice will the players make when they have the option to choose a bizarre weapon, but don't have the space to keep their more standard tools?

PART 2: THE AFORE-MENTIONED WEAPON LIST

Remember, your lines are "ooh" and "ah." Don't ruin this for me.

Name	Category	Damage Size	Damage Type
Bronze Dagger	Dagger	d6/d4	Piercing
Shuriken Star	Dagger	d4/d6	Slashing/Piercing, Explosion
Bomb	Bomb	d6	Explosion
Napalm Bomb	Bomb	d12	Explosion, Fire
Nocturne Blade	Sword	d8	Slashing
Bashōsen	Sword	d6	Slashing, Wind
Katana	Sword	d8/d4	Slashing/Piercing
Piko Piko Hammer	Polearm	d8	Clobbering
Rusty Spear	Polearm	d6	Piercing
Popgun	Gun	d6	Clobbering
Pudding's Guitar	Sword/Buster	d4/d6	Clobbering/Electric
Energy Ball	Buster	d6	Electric

PART 2: MASTERIES AND OTHER COOL SHIT YOU CAN DO WITH A STICK

I've been playing a lot of Legend of Dragoon (PS1, 2000) lately. It's a turn based rpg with a quick-time mechanic- successfully pulling off combos increases an xp track per named combo per character. I'm not... going to make everyone engage with the same level of detail lmao. But this will be here as an Option.

As an OPTIONAL Mechanic, Players can choose to pursue a Weapon Mastery. This is a title and list of Techniques granted to a player character that has invested time and study of a specific Damage Type or Weapon Category. A PC can only be pursuing one Mastery at a time, though they may choose to change which Mastery is 'active' during Downtime.

A PC actively pursuing a Mastery that rolls Max Damage when using a Weapon that matches that Mastery's focus can choose to instead mark a Track and re-roll, taking the second value. For every (X amount? Set amount? Increasing amount?) of Marks, the PC may learn a Technique from the Mastery List. This Technique is permanently added to their kit, though it requires a Weapon of the Mastery's focus to perform.

In my mind's eye, each Mastery list will have at minimum 5 techniques to choose from, and the order in which they're taken is up to the player. Depending on the context of the technique, it's entirely possible a player will "dip" into a single mastery for 1 technique, then switch to another for the remainder of their play. Note that as Mastery is gained via a track that logs Max Damage, Mastery is easier to accrue using weapons with smaller damage die. In theory, that means faster advancement at "lower" levels, but riskier combat. Enemies hit like trucks in odd-likes; sticking with a weaker weapon to MAYBE get a new technique is in itself a massive risk.

Example Sword Mastery

Technique	Effect
Flurry Blade	For every Dice Size you choose to lower your Weapon Damage this turn, you may make another Attack with that Weapon
Leaping Strike	You may move up to 1/2 your movement speed vertically to target an enemy that would otherwise be out of range.
You Are Already Dead	Choose a target within your range of vision, and quickly unsheathe, then sheathe your blade. At the beginning of the target's next turn, their action is interrupted as they take delayed Damage from your Weapon
Gambit Finish	Roll a number of 1d4 up to the amount of Fatigue in your inventory, adding the sum to your attack. On a failed save, accrue an equal amount of Fatigue.
A fifth one	idk man i've been editing this for like a week i'm tired and just gonna hit post so i can not think about it anymore lists are hard

-Until Next Time,
Farmer Gadda

Furkind - A Player Option for the Sanic hack

2024-05-22T00:00:00Z

I actually owned this poster before the house fire destroyed my belongings and left me homeless for a winter.
Maybe I should blog about more important things..

Something I always struggle with when writing anything is remembering what i have and have not actually put into words. My brain is a disorganized cacophony of images and sounds on a good day, and lining them up into a string of comprehensible words is a challenge. My work on the SANIC hack, even when collated into an overview post, probably still doesn't look like anything close to a complete picture for an outside observer. This post is me filling in some gaps; something I'll be doing for the next couple of posts as well- writing up semi-complete pages for character options for the SANIC hack that doesn't really need a full deep dive to explain them. The goal is just to have the edges of my imagined product be less blurry, as opposed to me thinking I've done anything clever and deserve praise. Also it allows me to introduce readers to some of the setting lore I've been holding back for fear of Telling You About My World Lore, an activity that everyone loves unconditionally and should happen as frequently as possible. (/s)

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

FURKIND

>FURKIND

Furkind is an umbrella term for the many sub-species of humanoid animal people that exist all over the world. They are known for their relatively short stature, vibrant coloration, and durable bodies. While Mammalian Furkind are the most common, Reptilian, Avian, and Insectoid members do exist; some using more fitting variations of the term to refer to themselves. (I.e. Scalekind, Featherkind, etc). Furkind are more plentiful in regions too dangerous or chaotic for Humans to traverse, with the majority of Furkind cultures originating from the many islands that dot the great seas.

NAMES

Common forenames include Nouns or Verbs the Furkind identifies with. Common surnames use descriptors, such as their animal ancestor or their chosen job title; though a shared Clan or Family name may be substituted.

(I.e. Rush The Cat, Claws The Hunter, Carrot The Lop-Ear, Lavender Of The Tulip Clan)

WANDERING

Established Furkind societies develop around settlements of one or two Packs; groups of individuals that make up a family unit. The members of a pack can vary wildly, even including other Kinds a Furkind befriended along the way. More solitary Furkind can be found living with other Kinds the world over, adapting to those communities' structures. It is common knowledge that young Furkind will eventually feel the need to wander off on their own, leaving on a journey to find their own place in the world.

What made you leave your den to WANDER?

d6	Reason
1	Your Voice beats at your chest; you wander to share all that you know. Your Keepsake is a Crumbling Statuette, an Official-looking Seal, or a Decorated Mask; a symbol of your obsession
2	Your Heart feels a Yearning; you wander to find those who will be your Pack. Your Keepsake is an Old Bracelet, a Pock-marked Stone, or a Feather; a gift for your fated ones
3	Your Mind is ever-curious; you wander to learn of other cultures. Your Keepsake is a Pocket Watch, a Wooden Abacus, or a Faded Tome; a tool of your education
4	Your Feet never stop moving; you wander because staying still feels like drowning. Your Keepsake is a Broken Compass, a Carved Walking Stick, or a Cracked Spyglass ;your first companion on your journey.
5	Your Hands feel empty; you wander to find something you've lost. Your Keepsake is a Bronze Locket, a Sepia Photograph, or Ragged Toy; the last memory you held onto
6	Your Blessing is a Curse; you wander to avoid those who would mistreat you. Your Keepsake is a Threadbare Scarf, Dark Eye-covering, or Broad-rimmed Hat;how you once kept yourself obscured

BLESSING

Furkind are naturally in tune with the planet, and many find themselves blessed with supernatural abilities from birth. Often, these will manifest in enhanced natural abilities, like speed and strength. Rarer, a specific element will imprint on their being, giving them some control over it in a manner not unlike spell-casting. Neither are considered odd to Furkind, though other Kinds might be surprised to learn what they can do!

What BLESSING has the planet gifted you?

d6	Blessing (Refer to This Blog Post)
1	Speed - A flash in the pan, a split second reaction, a foot that won't stop tapping. You're not just fast; everyone else is too slow.
2	Strength - A bent metal bar, a shattered boulder, a world that folds around you like paper. Your strength is greater than most could gain with training alone.
3	Flight - The wind in your wings, a gut-churning dive, the end of the horizon and a bright blue sky. You've broken your shackle to the ground, and now you are limitless.
4	Shell - A tough hide, a strong constitution, a will to power through the pain. Your body has a covering you can use to shield yourself from harm.
5-6	Elements - A burning passion in your heart, an icy chill down your spine, the depths of the ocean in your eyes. You gain the power of an Element, able to call it forth at will.

LEGO Adventurers DINO ISLAND - Summer LEGO RPG Setting Jam Entry

2024-05-20T00:00:00Z

Howdy, Farmhands.

When it came to my attention that DIY&dragons was hosting a Summer Lego Jam, I knew I had to get in on the action. Lego, specifically the sets released around the turn of the millennium, were my bread and butter as a kid, and I still collect the stuff today. It makes all the sense in the world that the open-concept, sandbox style of play present in those toys could be used as inspiration for a Tabletop Role-playing game.

The actual parameters of the Jam do not call for a complete Game Product, however. There are purposeful holes left in the designs I hand over to you today. I assume no system or method of play, simply outlining a setting and implying procedures you'll need to adapt to your table of choice.

Anyone who uses your setting will have to do additional work to get it game-ready, so help them out by making something exciting and inspirational! Basic guidelines are more important than fine-grained distinctions. Be clear and coherent, use motifs and themes, and trust that the person running the game will make decisions that are shaped by the tools you've given them -diy&dragons

To that end, this post assumes you are using a system with its own support for Overland Travel, be it pointcrawl, hexcrawl, or whatever else. It also assumes some method of facilitating faction play, with at least 2 separate groups for players to ally with. There is no inherent 'good' team, despite Johnny Thunder being the hero of the original LEGO theme. Statistics for Dinosaurs, Weapons, or Vehicles are absent, you'll need to plug those in should you need them.

Thanks, Inkarnate", by Yuji Uekawa

A mysterious island inhabited by survivors of the great extinction; the Dinosaurs here have lived in peace for thousands of years... until now! Johnny Thunder's expedition arrives to study this phenomenon, while his rival, the Baron, follows closely for profit. Both risk endangering the balance of nature and triggering the Volcano at the center of this lost world.

Factions:
The Adventurers Team

Johnny Thunder: Daring, Handsome, Audibly Australian. Out of his depth with no Treasure to find.
Dr. Lightning: Academically Brilliant but Absent-minded. Naively ignorant to the potential abuse the Island faces.
Mike: Eager to please. Inexperienced. Views Johnny as a role model.
Miss Pippin Reed: Journalist with a One-track mind. Focused on writing the best story, to the detriment of the subjects she covers.

The Adventurers will attempt to corral a random specimen to their base for study, a process that takes 1d4 days. If made aware of the Baron's crew having successfully captured a dinosaur, they will attempt to free it, but otherwise focus on their own work.

The Baron's Crew

Lord Samuel Sinister von Barron: Successful Criminal with a personal vendetta against Johnny Thunder. His wealth was primarily gained through grave robbing. Actively haunted by an Ancient Egyptian Pharaoh that tells bad jokes.
Alexia Sinister von Barron: Younger sister. Pragmatic. Prefers easy money to harebrained schemes.
Mr. Cunningham: Slovenly layabout. Loyal to Alexia,specifically Frequently overestimates his own capability.
Ghost of Pharaoh Hotep: Incorporeal Guardian of the stolen Re-Gou Ruby. Has the sense of humor of a 12-year-old. Wants his gemstone returned to Egypt or to ruin Sam Sinister's day, whichever's easiest.

The Baron's Crew alternates daily between 1. Setting Traps, 2. Damaging Adventurer's Infrastructure, and 3. Pursuing a random dinosaur. Should any of their activities be foiled by the Adventurers specifically, as opposed to their own hubris, they will spend 1d4 days 'Plotting and Scheming' and generally keeping to themselves.

The Dinosaur Herds

Stegosaurus: Defensive. Prone to stampede. Avoids Triceratops herd.
Triceratops: Aggressive. Travels in a Clockwise direction across the island.
Tyrannosaurus Rex: Opportunistic Scavengers. Follow the nearest moving herd. Passive until their young is threatened.
Brachiosaurus: Immovable object. Fears no Predator. Travels between Swampland and Jungle in search of tall foliage.
Pteropod Flock: Annoying. Curious. Too intelligent for their own good.

The Dinosaur Herds are in constant movement, and keeping track of which herd is where is vital to traversing safely across the island. The location of the 1d3 Tyrannosaurus Rexes should be kept a secret from players, though the table can and should participate in the daily adjustment of the herds' location, for the sake of the GM's sanity.

Locations:

Base: (5987 Dino Research Compound) A rusty radio transmitter tower held together with driftwood, rope, and prayers. Constantly in need of repairs. A clearing nearby works as an airfield.

Swamp: (5912 Mike's Swamp Boat) More of a marsh, really. Potentially a quick path across the island, if your boat doesn't get stuck.

Jungle: A thick forest with massive trees. Predators roam the edges, looking for easy meals.

Plains: (5955 All Terrain Trapper) Grassland with little cover. Stegosaurus can be found here, unless they've been run off by a traveling Triceratops.

Stony Beach: (5975 T-rex Transport) Grey and dismal; no creature bothers traveling here.

Pterodon Rock : (5921 Research Glider) Steep stone, devoid of plant life. The Pterodon flock nests here at night, returning to the green main island with the sun.
Volcano: An imposing peak with lava visible at the lip of the caldera. The slightest jostle could set off an eruption. The Cave system below is too narrow for predators to follow.

FURTHER INSPIRATION:
    Brickset List of all Official Products
    Brickset List of "DINOSAURS" Sister Series
    Brickset List of "STUDIO" Sister Series
    Compilation of tie-in short Comics
    DL Link for Stud.io A 3D modeling program with the large majority of LEGO's pieces included; useful for creating custom renders for game visuals.
NOTES:
    Vehicles have always featured prominently in Lego sets, and Dino Island is no exception. Before play, determine which vehicles of either Minifig faction are operational, and scatter resources to fix up the rest across the island as player rewards. If you're using a system that supports it, consider having specific vehicles negate difficult travel over specific terrain.
    The caves beneath the Volcano are purposefully left without any dungeon map. What is contained beneath it, and how or why your table will seek it out is up to you - is there a mystical artifact keeping the island afloat? Ruins of a Minifig civilization that once shared the island with the Dinosaurs? A gateway to the ancient past through which the ancestors of the Dinosaurs traveled? Listen to your table discuss the possibilities, and then decide what would be the most exciting to uncover!
    Additional Dinosaur Herds for desired dinos (raptors or ocean predators come to mind) could be included, but the interplay between the herds I've already written means that interacting with One affects the locations and temperament of the rest. Adding more herds in would require they weave into this tapestry, or they may as well just be set dressing.

The SANIC Hack - Checkpoint 1

2024-05-10T00:00:00Z

Don't worry; there's no special stage above this one.
Halfpipes suck.

Howdy, Farmhands!

I don't expect many people to read this post. Or maybe it'll be the post everyone reads to avoid reading the previous posts, idk. I've made 5 full blogposts detailing my design choices for this ttrpg heartbreaker, (though the first was really just an overview/declaration of intent) so TODAY I think I ought to compile the changes made into a more concise post. Consider this the elevator pitch, but like, we've already stopped at every single floor and I've followed you into the hallway even though I was originally headed elsewhere.

PART 1: INTRODUCTION

The fact of the matter is that I wish to put a Sanic in Cairn, and none of you have any authority nor power to stop me. But before I do, a couple of points must be made. Firstly, what do I think a Cairn is? And secondly, what the fuck is a Sanic?

As of writing this post, it's actually been exactly one month since part 1 went live! Neat! This being my first Serious attempt at Poasting in this longer format (I'd posted before, but that was expected to only reach my existing Vtubing audience, not a greater fandom/design space) it's oddly verbose with a ton of links to images nobody really commented on. As a declaration of intent, it also didn't involve any interesting or actionable content. As a landing page, I think it's okay? Certainly helps weed out the people who aren't interested in This Sort of Thing without asking them to get invested before they leave. I only want to waste my OWN time, tyvm.

TL;DR-

Baseline system is Cairn (Later clarified as general Into The Odd-likes)
d20 roll under stat (STR, DEX, WIS)
HP refills quickly, but damage beyond HP lowers STAT
Slot-based Inventory System
Classless, with Gear being the primary method of customization
Nobody commented on the image I linked so I'm linking it again here

PART 2: PROBLEM SOLVING

"Doesn't this mean it's much harder for the players to ever seriously experience danger?"
yes, but it creates a few more layers of player choice before you reach the "you don't get to roll any more" stage with those blorbos.

In hindsight, this was probably not the most interesting first, actionable post I could have made for this project, but it was the one I'd recently talked about on twitter, so my hands were tied. I spent the first section essentially trying to walk the reader through my thought process and first draft ideas for this topic, before jettisoning that work in favor of the final product in section 2.

This was a mistake. Don't expect your audience to get invested in something if you're only going to betray that investment in the very next paragraph. Heed my words lest ye befall the same fate.

TL;DR -

DOWN: A character at ZERO HP. Must roll a STR Save if damaged further.
OUT: An unconscious character that has failed their STR save after taking damage beyond ZERO HP. Effectively removed from the combat/scene.
CARRY: An action that can be performed by PCs to shield DOWNED Allies from further harm. All Rolls are IMPAIRED for the duration. Requires 5 free Inventory Slots per Ally carried. CARRIED allies regain 1 HP per round.
SCORE: Mostly theoretical at this point. A checklist of behaviors and goals with an amount of Metacurrency attached to them. This Metacurrency is awarded at the end of a Session, and can be used to 'Purchase' features or items to be used during normal play.

PART 3: BLESSED BE THE HOG

In an effort to differentiate Fantastic Furries from their less magical counterparts, I'm putting together a short list of options to be taken during Character Creation. I considered having separate combinations be available depending on what KIND of furry you're using, but frankly, that's boring.

Tweaking how 'death' works in an Odd-like was important for giving this heartbreaker more of a Super-Heroic feel without completely rejecting the elements of the Adventure Game design philosophy that led me to choose Cairn as my starting point. Part 3, then, was intended to push a little further and see if anything broke.

The only thing that broke was my formatting. This was the first post I made that got pushed not because I thought it was 'complete' but because I was so fucking tired of editing it, and it shows. I SHOULD clean it up now that I'm thinking about it but fuck if I want to do that.

One thing I should note here is that the list of Blessings available to PCs at Character Creation will be limited/curated by specific Lineage. I've established that I want to hold off on talking about My World Lore as long as possible, but the Fantastic Furries and the Ridiculous Rubber-people will both have overlapping but unique Blessings to choose from, while Humans are barred from picking a Blessing to start.

TL;DR -

BLESSINGS: A thematic set of minor additions to or alterations of standard game mechanics. Intended to be found rarely during gameplay by most PCs, though Furry Characters* choose one at character creation.

PART 4: SODA POTIONS

I genuinely think this is my best post so far. Out of any of them. Like, this is the standard I'm going to be holding my writing to going forward. It's technically just a compilation of a brainstorming session on twitter that got out of hand, but the end result isn't just stable and actionable, it's GAMEABLE for people who AREN'T ME. Finally, I've moved out of the realm of theory and into actual Game Design, lookatmego.

Unlike PART 2: where I failed to properly guide the reader through my thought process and instead invalidated their investment two paragraphs in, this post does a very good job of describing both the starting point of the design from Cairn, the specific areas I've already made changes to, and the slice of design I intend to affect with the NEW design the audience is about to be introduced to. I did it Ma, I'm a blogger!!!!

I'm now legally required to repeat that I'm not going to explain Bar'd to you. Maybe I'll discuss Smackjeeves/The City RPs at a later date, from which you can triangulate what Bar'd is about, but that's somewhere down the line.

TL;DR -

POTIONS: I'm just going to copy paste from the main post.

Potions are a consumable liquid that produce an effect in the drinker.

   They come in 3 Tiers, JUICE, SODA, and ENERGY, each with an associated Die Value (d4, d6, etc). A Potion that restores a resource (HP, Dice Pools) instantly grants that resource equal to the Die value of it's Tier. A Potion that grants an effect (Extra Damage, Invisibility, Extra Armor) temporarily grants that effect for a number of Rounds equal to the Die Value of it's Tier.

    In Inventory, Potions of the same Tier and Flavor may be stacked up to the maximum determined by their Tier.

    In Combat, 1 Potion may be Chugged each turn, before and separate from that PC's Action. In order to Chug a Potion, the PC must have at least 1 hand free to hold the container, and 1 forehead free to crush the container against once emptied.
    JUICE: 1d4, No Associated Save. Stacks up to 16. Usually served in Juice Boxes.
Arguably Healthy, considering the amount of sugar.

    SODA: 1d8, Save against WIL or BURP*. Stacks up to 12. Served in Cans.
Carbonated, which makes the Magic Better or something.

    ENERGY: 1d12, Save against WIL or BURP*. Stacks up to 8. Also served in Cans.
Contains the maximum recommended daily dose of various questionable chemicals. Drinking more than 1 per 24 hours risks a CRASH**
*BURP: Failing a WIL save after Chugging a Potion of SODA or ENERGY Tier results in a BURP, replacing your Action for the Round with a loud belch.

**CRASH: A Floating value Equal the number of ENERGY Tier potions consumed within 24 hours after the first. At any point after accruing any value of Crash, should the PC BURP, Fatigue equal to the Crash Value is instantly applied.

HOMEMADE/CUSTOM BREWS: Crafted Potions do 1 die-size less than their store-bought counterparts. Mixed drinks do 1 die-size less of an effect per effect mixed.

PART 5: RELICS, SPELLS, SCROLLS, AND OTHER SOME-SUCH

Magical nonsense happens frequently, even if it isn't recognized as such... There's no chanting or latin, or even an agreed upon method of categorizing specific phenomenon. There is only chaos, and those who can temporarily control it.

You'll notice the weeks-long gap in posting between 3 and 4, and the literal 19 hours between 4 and 5. This is because Part 5 was ORIGINALLY intended to follow up after Blessed Be The Hog, and was a bitch to edit. Also, I had to do construction on my house after my wife fell through the floor. Don't worry about it. I'm happy with the final result, but the Soda Potions post was finished quicker, so it became part 4.

This is an Important Post for this project, even if it's mostly reflavoring existing Cairn/ItO mechanics to match the fantasy. With these terms and their uses described, however, I can now refer back to them as needed going forwards. It's all downhill (/pos) from here, lads.

TL;DR -

TECHNIQUES: A special maneuver performed by a PC who has memorized it. Always requires a Save, with Failure imparting FATIGUE. Techniques do not exist within the Inventory, though may require an Object to trigger. (Comparable to Spells)
UPGRADES: An object containing a limited number of uses of a specific Technique. Takes up an Inventory slot, and comes with specific Recharge requirements. Use does not risk Fatigue. (Comparable to Relics)
POWER-UPS: A stackable object containing a single, limited use of a specific Technique. Usable by anyone with the object in their possession. The object is fully consumed upon use. Use does not risk Fatigue. (Comparable to Scrolls)

FINAL PART: CHECKPOINT 1

Going back over the previous set of posts in this series has actually been really interesting. It's odd, looking at the disparate ramblings as one cohesive project, and seeing the spots that still need attention. If I had to start the project over, I'd definitely post them in a different order, beginning with the reflavoring of existing mechanics such as in Part 5, tweaking Death mechanics such as in Part 2, and THEN introducing new content by way of Blessings and Soda Potions in 3 and 4. Hindsight is 2020 I'm afraid, so there's not much I can do about it now.

What I CAN do is give a brief overview of what I plan to do next. The blogpost following this one SHOULD be about Weapons, how they'll be categorized, and how specializing in one fighting style can earn PCs Weapon-specific Techniques. After that, the project should be 'Complete' mechanically, with the bones ready to be filled with meat. A few d66 tables later, and I'll be ready to begin Telling You About My World Lore, and probably giving this project it's own unique name. We'll see how much of the above I actually accomplish by Checkpoint 2.

Until Next Time,

-Farmer Gadda

The SANIC Hack - Part 5 - Relics, Spells, Scrolls, and other Some-Such

2024-05-09T00:00:00Z

Oh actually, I think this part of the game is gonna be easy to write
- The Bounce Bracelet in Sonic Generations, Sonic Beyond (2022)

Howdy, Farmhands.

Odd-likes (I've made the executive decision to stop name-dropping Cairn as the sole originator of this project, people are making understandable assumptions) tie their magic systems in with their inventory system via the Fatigue mechanic. In many cases, powerful or supernatural abilities are either explicitly One-Time use, or cost a temporary burden filling in an Inventory slot. But also, there are objects that can contain multiple uses of an ability that cost no fatigue, but instead have specific requirements to regain those uses once spent. Do you use up your empty Inventory Slots to cast a spell multiple times? Do you fill your Inventory with single use spells you might never need? Do you bring a spent Relic on your journey in the hopes you can recharge it? And all of this is with the logical concern that you'll come across something important and shiny and need to decide what you take home with you; the stuff you have or the stuff you've just found.

It's honestly an excellent balancer in a game that's all about diegetic advancement.

(For the remainder of this blog, assume any stated Durations, Damage Die, and Charges are placeholders. I'm just throwing numbers out here as examples for now)

Part 1: Relics

"Relics are items imbued with a magical spell or power. They do not cause Fatigue. Relics usually have a limited use, as well as a recharge condition." - Cairn

The Sonic series has a history of including optional collectibles, be they wearable swag, new technology to add to their existing battle mechs, or mystical artifacts that are usually a set of jewels. The specific context varies by game, but generally, these objects are referred to as Upgrades.

Light Speed Shoes, 3 Charges.
A pair of golden sneakers that magnetically pulls the user towards nearby Rings. Recharge: Place a Ring worth at least 100 into each shoe and leave overnight.
Bounce Bracelet, 1 Charge.
A gray metal bracelet with a green power meter on the side, capable of casting Bounce on the wearer. Recharge: Access to a Power Source for 1 Short Rest
Type-3 Laser Blaster, 3 Charges.
A ranged weapon capable of launching explosive missiles (d12, Blast). Recharge: 3 new Rockets and a full tank of fresh Coolant.

Part 2: Spells

"Anyone can cast a spell by holding a Spellbook in both hands and reading the contents aloud. They must then add a Fatigue to inventory, occupying one slot... If the PC is deprived or in danger, the Warden may require a PC to make a WIL save to avoid any ill-effects from casting the spell." - Cairn, again

Magic exists in the world I'm envisioning for this project, but not necessarily in the Dungeons & Dragons way, Vancian or otherwise. This dips a bit into talking about my totally cool fantasy setting I've imagined, which I'm sure you're all thrilled to hear about, so bear with me. Magical nonsense happens frequently, even if it isn't recognized as such. Rules of reality are casually broken, super strength, flight, and psionic abilities are just born innately in the populace. The energy that causes these events can be read and measured, with geographical locations having more or less of it, relative to how weird the place is. There's no chanting or latin, or even an agreed upon method of categorizing specific phenomenon. There is only chaos, and those who can temporarily control it.

The abilities performed by tapping into that power, then, would be less 'Casting a spell' and more 'Manipulating the Force;' with specific triggers being memorized as Techniques.

Drop Dash - Fall a vertical distance up to your Movement speed, without harm. Upon landing, jettison an equal distance to your fall in any direction, dealing 1d4 damage to any Creature in your path.
Homing Attack - Pick a target within range of your Movement speed. You are launched towards that target as part of your Attack Action, without using up your Movement for that round.
Insta-Shield - A burst of air blocks a single melee attack at the point of contact. If targeted by multiple opponents, take the second highest damage roll instead of the highest.

Part 3: Scrolls

"Scrolls are similar to Spellbooks, however, they do not take up an inventory slot, do not cause fatigue, and they disappear after one use." - Cairn, a third time

This is even easier now that I've sorted out what "Upgrades" and "Techniques" are. Instead of a smaller form, one charge consumable Spell, we can just... HAVE Mario Power-ups.

Super Mushroom -
You and your possessions grow to 3x your proportional size for 10 minutes.
Boomerang Flower -
Toss it's oddly shaped head at an object up to a distance equalling your movement speed; it will retrieve any loose object that is not Bulky and return to your hand.
Drill Mushroom -
You can burrow into solid stone for 10 minutes., moving through it like water while leaving a tunnel behind you
Fire Flower -
Cast Fireball

Final Part: Other Some-Such

For the sake of the fantasy, some things won't be 1 to 1 between Cairn and the Sanic Hack. Techniques will not be part of a Grimoire, rather being a list of abilities, though they will require Saves to pull off. Power-Ups, unlike Scrolls, will take Inventory space, and their abilities won't be able to be transcribed into a collection for use later; they're one and done.

Likewise, I feel that Upgrades can and SHOULD be Weapons and Armor, but in a significant move away from how Odd-likes usually handle them, they should also be things that can be manufactured. Maybe not easily, lest they lose all credibility, but still something that can be tinkered with and improved in some way. Maybe a particularly tech-savvy PC would want to take an Item or Weapon or what have you, and slowly develop it INTO an Upgrade? I'll put a pin in that for a future blog post.

An Upgrade would need to be highlighted to Players at the table, especially if they're going to be commonplace tech in the context of the world. Mystical Gemstones, sure, they'll notice those. But placing a technological upgrade in an adventure site could lead to players missing them entirely.

I'm afraid I'll just have to take another whack at all of this later on down the line.

Until Next Time,

-Farmer Gadda

The SANIC Hack - Part 4 - Soda Potions

2024-05-08T00:00:00Z

There honestly isn't any context I could add that would make this better. My friend circle was working through some stuff in 2006.

Prev Post / Next Post
    Look. I refuse to explain Bar'd to you. Just know that in a very specific subset of Sonic fans who were Teenagers on the Internet that found a Webcomic Hosting Service called Smackjeeves in the Mid 2000's, a series of modern mixed drinks providing supernatural enhancements was not just the norm, it was the One True Way. Most of them were less than subtle attempts to experiment with kink in a safe space, but, again, I refuse to explain Bar'd to you. Anyway...
   Goblinpunch recently put out a blogpost about Healing, Potions, and Shrines, laying out both the pros and cons of traditional Healing options in ttrpgs, as well as spitballing ideas for how to tweak that experience to be more in line with your specific fantasy. I don't vibe with every suggestion, but I can see why specific tables would gravitate to them. This got me thinking about what -My- preferred method of offering Healing at my table would be, if I got to choose.
   Wait, of course I get to choose, i'm a game designer forever cursed to toil on my heartbreaker. Neat.
PART 1 : HOW HEALING CURRENTLY WORKS
   Reminder that I'm working off an ItO/Cairn framework for this project. Health is already kinda funky compared to Most Expected mechanics for HP and Damage and whatnot. HP stands for "Hit Protection", a gauge of how close a character is to actually taking the hit that will send them down. Damage that exceeds their available HP is taken from their STR score, with a save against that Score required to keep them conscious every time they take another hit. Once combat is complete and the Danger averted, however, HP is relatively easy to regain!
Resting for a few moments and having a drink of water restores lost HP but leaves the party exposed. Ability loss can usually be restored with a week’s rest facilitated by a healer or

other appropriate source of expertise. Some of these services are free, while magical or more expedient means of recovery may come at a cost. - Cairn

This gameplay loop- having a refreshable pool of protection, but lasting effects of combat that carries through an adventure- is one I want to preserve. Therefore, any Healing I add to this ruleset should probably focus on quick refreshes of that HP pool, as opposed to undoing Ability loss.

Well, wait, I already did that. Sorta. Here's what I added:

Reaching Zero HP puts you Down, you're wheezing and looking rough. For NPCs, this is when the Morale roll happens to decide if they Flee or stay to take a stand. For PCs, they may choose to Move OR take an Action each round but not both. Any further Damage affects their STR score and they must make Death Saves as normal, or be Out. And "Out" is just. Fainted. They're not dead, but they're an unconscious or otherwise indisposed lump on the floor. They may not rejoin Combat. In Cairn terms, they're present but Deprived. Retreating when Downed is basically choosing to be Out, knowing you'll be able to recover HP as usual after the dust settles. But, because I love Mario & Luigi RPG, Downed PCs can stay in the fight by being Carried.
A PC may Carry a Downed PC if they have 5 Inventory Slots free. A Carried PC regains 1 HP per Round they are Carried, up to their Max. However, the PC doing the Carrying rolls attack rolls as if Impaired. - Me, "The SANIC Hack: Part 2 - Problem Solving"

Allowing another PC the option to temporarily handicap themselves to slowly refuel a Downed ally is still something I think is cool. It's not a negation of consequence on part of the Downed PC; their actions now directly hamper their friend's ability to perform in a dangerous scenario, but there's a chance the pair of them can make a comeback if both can be careful for just a few rounds. There's also the possibility that being Carried is just not an option for their situation, so it isn't a one size fits all. It ALSO only triggers once HP is gone completely AND an Ally chooses to sacrifice their Damage output and Inventory slots to perform it.

With these points in mind, this means the area we'll need to focus on is the space BEFORE a PC loses all their HP and is Downed.

PART 2 : THE FLAVOR I CRAVE-OR

"Sodaaaaaaaaaaaa" -Whoever voiced the Belts from kamen rider Gaim

I'm specifically calling upon Drinks/Cans/Soda in this design for a number of reasons.

It harkens back to Fantasy Potions

Mystical Brews, Glass Flasks, Stoppers in the shape of Skulls; you know what I'm talking about. The short-hand of "Drink X and Y Happens" is pretty well understood in TTRPG spaces. Work smarter, not harder, I say.
It requires Capitalism to Produce

This is a bit too close to "I Tell You About My World Lore" for my liking, but humor me. Anyone can squeeze an Apple, but Apple Juice (tm) as found on Grocery Store Shelves is not the same thing. There needs to be an infrastructure producing that specific product, and a distribution system to get it to it's intended market. Cola from your Sodastream isn't the same as a bottle of Pepsi.

In this scenario- you can absolutely Make Your Own, but it will never be quite the same as storebought; and isn't it convenient that for the low low price of [VALUE] [CURRENCY] you can get it in travel size containers?
It's Memorable and Meme-erable

Did you know that there is a Soda Brand in the Mario universe called "BaNaNa Boy?" You do now. Think abou that. Sit with it. Grieve who you were before I told you this. You can never go back. Anyway, I want to give my Drinks funny names too; think of the marketing opportunities if they're good.
It reminds me of my Childhood.

Ok, you got me. A Large part of why I like this design has to do with Nostalgia for my VERY niche experience as a SANIC fan, and this is a way to carry that feeling into my work. I still won't explain Bar'd to you. Sue me.

PART 3: POTIONS, A FIRST DRAFT

    Potions are a consumable liquid that produce an effect in the drinker.

   They come in 3 Tiers, JUICE, SODA, and ENERGY, each with an associated Die Value (d4, d6, etc). A Potion that restores a resource (HP, Dice Pools) instantly grants that resource equal to the Die value of it's Tier. A Potion that grants an effect (Extra Damage, Invisibility, Extra Armor) temporarily grants that effect for a number of Rounds equal to the Die Value of it's Tier.

    In Inventory, Potions of the same Tier and Flavor may be stacked up to the maximum determined by their Tier.

    In Combat, 1 Potion may be Chugged each turn, before and separate from that PC's Action. In order to Chug a Potion, the PC must have at least 1 hand free to hold the container, and 1 forehead free to crush the container against once emptied.

JUICE: 1d4, No Associated Save. Stacks up to 16. Usually served in Juice Boxes.
Arguably Healthy, considering the amount of sugar.
SODA: 1d8, Save against WIL or BURP*. Stacks up to 12. Served in Cans.
Carbonated, which makes the Magic Better or something.
ENERGY: 1d12, Save against WIL or BURP*. Stacks up to 8. Also served in Cans.
Contains the maximum recommended daily dose of various questionable chemicals. Drinking more than 1 per 24 hours risks a CRASH**

*BURP: Failing a WIL save after Chugging a Potion of SODA or ENERGY Tier results in a BURP, replacing your Action for the Round with a loud belch.

**CRASH: A Floating value Equal the number of ENERGY Tier potions consumed within 24 hours after the first. At any point after accruing any value of Crash, should the PC BURP, Fatigue equal to the Crash Value is instantly applied.

FINAL PART FOR NOW: ADDITIONAL MUSINGS

Each Flavor (Lemon, Apple, Mint, Vanilla) should have an effect attached to it; meaning Lemon Juice and Lemon Soda will recognizably perform the same function.

Homemade Potions, because there will always be that 1 person who wants to fulfill the Witches Brew fantasy, should do 1 dice size lower than the standard, Grocery Store version of that Tier. JUICE(Homemade) does 1d2, SODA(Homemade) does 1d6, etc.

Mixed Drinks that combine Flavors, and thus, effects, should ALSO be worth 1 dice size lower, per Flavor. Lemon-Lime, as an example, could Restore HP (Lemon) and Grant +1 Armor (Lime.) A Lemon-Lime SODA, then would restore 1d6 HP and Grant Armor for 1d6 Turns. A Lemon-Lime SODA(Homemade), would restore 1d4 HP and Grant Armor for 1d4 Turns.

Dregan, Author of Bar'd, if you're reading this, know that our time together is remembered fondly. Also, I'm Genderfluid now, which may be partly Your Fault. No hard feelings.

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

The SANIC Hack - Part 3 - Blessed Be The Hog

2024-04-21T00:00:00Z

3 of God's Specialist Little Babies (non-derogatory) -IDW Sonic the Hedgehog #4, Evan Stanley

Prev Post / Next Post

Howdy, Farmhands.

I've had exactly One interaction with Evan Stanley on social media. She briefly marred me with the horrific possibilities of 'Acoustic Eurobeat.' Anyway, tl;dr: Gadda gives Feats and Titles a fancy new name.

In an effort to differentiate Fantastic Furries from their less magical counterparts, I'm putting together a short list of options to be taken during Character Creation. I considered having separate combinations be available depending on what KIND of furry you're using, but frankly, that's boring. I'd much rather someone try to explain to me how their Fox OC has the power of flight, (he has, uh... two tails? And they spin like helicopter blades?) than limit their choices just because it doesn't match what -I- imagine they SHOULD do. Non-furry PCs, should they be included in the final product, will be differentiated by their lack of a Blessing at Creation, though that doesn't prevent them from acquiring one during play if the adventures lead them to one.

Blessings are not meant to be something earned through training, but rather, something that is conferred upon a PC by another. Suitably powerful individuals may grant a magical ability to someone who's done them a favor, sleeping next to radioactive meteors might mean you wake up with Force Powers, stuff like that. The current plan is that these will work more like micro-mechanics instead of a simple +1 to a stat. Every player will roll the same dice and follow the same rules, but a Blessing will include a unique or variant rule for that player specifically. I'm not particularly interested in balancing them perfectly, either.

Unlike some games with page upon pages of Feats, these are meant to be a one time choice to color your focus for the rest of the game, OR a special extra something given to a character to shake up their experience. Scaling abilities or Blessings that become stronger over time feels like too much of a stretch from the diegetic advancement found in the game I'm starting from, here.

I'm also Very Open to opinions on any of the following, please feel free to comment on your social media of choice, I love interacting with my audience.

Flight - The wind in your wings, a gut-churning dive, the end of the horizon and a bright blue sky. You've broken your shackle to the ground, and now you are limitless.

-Unless otherwise restrained, you can choose to use a portion of your Movement to move Vertically. Any vertical movement beyond 10 feet puts you Out of Range for Melee attacks.
-While flying, an Ally can use you as a Mount, provided they have at least 1 hand free to hang on, and You have 2 hands free to hold them. Traveling in this manner does not require Item Slots, such as when Carrying a Downed ally. Allies moved in this manner may Dismount and use any of their remaining movement after your Turn.

Speed - A flash in the pan, a split second reaction, a foot that won't stop tapping. You're not just fast; everyone else is too slow.

-You always go first in any Round (arguing Speed-Blessed may settle their differences with a DEX save against the other).
-You gain an additional Move action each Round.

Strength - A bent metal bar, a shattered boulder, a world that folds around you like paper. Your strength is greater than most could gain with training alone.

    - Bulky items only require 1 hand to carry.
    - Your Unarmed Attacks may deal 1d8 Damage instead of 1d4, but require a STR save or suffer Fatigue.
    - Downed Allies only take 3 Slots to Carry.

Shell - A tough hide, a strong constitution, a will to power through the pain. Your body has a covering you can use to shield yourself from harm.

- You naturally have +1 Armor that cannot be negated.
- You may choose to spend your entire Action retreating into your shell for a Round, doubling your total Armor for the duration, but rendering yourself immobile.

Foresight - A sixth sense, a connection with the divine, your bad leg aching when a storm is coming in. You know things you shouldn't, but not necessarily how to use that knowledge.

- You gain a pool of three d6 which may be spent individually to alter any Save by the value it produces. The Player must declare their intent to use this ability after the Save has been rolled, but before the GM narrates the effects. The GM will narrate the original result, as a Vision of a potential future, before resolving the adjusted value of the roll. These dice may be regained, 1 per short rest, or all 3 at the end of a long rest.

Camouflage -A whisper on the wind, a blur in the corner of your vision, the uncomfortable sensation of knowing you are not alone. You can hide in plain sight, but be wary should you be found.

- You have the ability to become invisible to the naked eye once per Short Rest. You can fool creatures that rely on sight into ignoring you 1d4 times per use. Should the effect be discovered or dispelled, accept 1 Fatigue as punishment.

Elements - A burning passion in your heart, an icy chill down your spine, the depths of the ocean in your eyes. You gain the power of an Element, able to call it forth at will.

-Once per short rest, you may choose to become Imbued, surrounding your body with your element. Roll 1d4, turning the die down one value at the end of every Round. Should the value turn below 1 before the effect is dismissed as an Action, you take Fatigue equal to the original value of the roll. While Imbued, your Unarmed Attacks deal 1d6 instead of 1d4, and you gain +1 Armor. You cannot use Shields or Weapons in this state, though they remain in your Inventory.
-You may Cast your Element as though it were a Ranged Spell, for 1d4 damage.

Reach - stretchy. Idk, i'll come back to this. Tangle the Lemur and Ristar.

    - You may choose to spend your entire Round (Movement AND Action) to extend your limb in a straight line, up to your Maximum Movement and do 1 of the following:
        - Attack an Enemy within your Limb's range
        - Grab an Enemy or Object and drag them to your starting location
        - Launch yourself forward in a straight line, traveling up to double the distance that was extended.
    The limb always retracts at the end of the round.

Form - Your body is clay to be molded as you see fit.

- You may contort your body to replicate the shape and function of an object you are familiar with. If the object is a Weapon, you may use that Weapon's Damage die and Properties on a successful WIL save each Round. Otherwise, the effect ends and your body returns to normal. Replicating objects you are not familiar with, such as machinery, fine art, or specific door keys require a WIL save, and incur a Fatigue on a failure.

Iron Stomach - kirby basically

-You can consume Relics, innately gaining their effects, charge capacity, and recharge requirements. Only One Relic can be consumed at a time; should another Relic be consumed, it's abilities overwrite the previous. If a PC goes Down, they temporarily lose all abilities from the Consumed Relic until the end of a Long Rest. Once Consumed, a Relic cannot be retrieved, destroying it utterly.

Clouds - Something about being Lightweight

- You gain a pool of three d6 which may be spent individually to absorb Damage from 1 attack to HP or STR. The Player must declare their intent to use this ability after the Damage has been rolled, but before the GM narrates the effects. The PC is instead shot backwards from the source of the damage 1d6x10 feet. If the PC is restrained, and thus unable to be launched, they instead take 1d2 Fatigue per spent Dice. These dice may be regained, 1 per short rest, or all 3 at the end of a long rest.

Until Next Time,

-Farmer Gadda

The SANIC Hack - Part 2 - Problem Solving

2024-04-18T00:00:00Z

The Band (pictured here getting back together) - IDW Sonic the Hedgehog #9, Tracey Yardley & Matt Herms

Howdy, Farmhands.

For all my big talk in the Previous Post in this series, I actually do have quite a lot of work to do. How do I take the high-risk, high reward, low numbers problem solving of an OSR game like Cairn and fulfill the aesthetic promise of the colorful, cartoony butt-rock action of Sonic the Hedgehog?

Here's my first few swings.

Part 1: Death Fail-safes (maybe)

I spent the better part of a 2-hour Minecraft Livestream talking about Violence in TTRPGS and how Gary Gygax was an Insurance Actuary. Sonic came up at some point. That's the only segue I got. Here's my plan A to soften things in Cairn:

"Unless specifically stated to be With Intent To Kill, any attack that lowers an NPC combatant to 0 HP triggers a Morale Roll instead of a Death Save. A Failed save removes the Combatant from the fight, be it through fleeing, surrender, or petrification from fear. A Successful Save means they're willing to fight to the death, any further damage affects STR and Death Saves as normal.

Alternatively, a PC attacking an NPC with Zero HP should be able to simply knock them out with the butt of their sword if they really don't want blood on their hands." - Me, on Twitter, sometime last week

Ok. Good. We can work with this. The problem isn't solved, this is just a start. But what am I actually DOING with this? There's a layer there to act as a buffer, to let the players really think about if this is the result they want to pursue. And if they decide that yes, Murder IS the play here, what has this rule change done to positively affect the experience? I've basically just halted the flow of combat for one final "Are you SUUUUUURE?" dialogue prompt.

I can do better than this.

Part 2: I Do Better Than That

A more drastic change would be to go by Pokemon Rules, so we can have our violence and still be safe for kids('s parents). Instead of Death, the fail states of Combat are "Down", followed by "Out."

Reaching Zero HP puts you Down, you're wheezing and looking rough. For NPCs, this is when the Morale roll happens to decide if they Flee or stay to take a stand. For PCs, they may choose to Move OR take an Action each round but not both. Any further Damage affects their STR score and they must make Death Saves as normal, or be Out. And "Out" is just. Fainted. They're not dead, but they're an unconscious or otherwise indisposed lump on the floor. They may not rejoin Combat. In Cairn terms, they're present but Deprived. Retreating when Downed is basically choosing to be Out, knowing you'll be able to recover HP as usual after the dust settles. But, because I love Mario & Luigi RPG, Downed PCs can stay in the fight by being Carried.

A PC may Carry a Downed PC if they have (let's just pick a number for right now.) 5 Inventory Slots free. A Carried PC regains 1 HP per Round they are Carried, up to their Max. However, the PC doing the Carrying rolls attack rolls as if Impaired.

Although, thinking about it, if Carrying a Downed PC costs 5 Inventory Slots, a PC COULD theoretically carry 2 of their allies, but only after 1. Dropping all their Stuff and 2. Accepting that it's going to push them to 0 HP until both of them get the fuck off their shoulders. If the Carrying PC takes fatigue that encroaches into that 5 slot allowance, they're unable to Carry the Downed PC any longer and they are forced to rejoin the combat with whatever HP they have. Course, then they're no longer Down so it's probably fine.

"Doesn't this mean it's much harder for the players to ever seriously experience danger?"

yes, but it creates a few more layers of player choice before you reach the "you don't get to roll any more" stage with those blorbos. It also introduces the possibility of PCs focusing on assisting and healing their party, without needing a specific class or set of combat abilities to do so.

Part 3: Advancement

Sonic the Hedgehog is a Videoed Game. So I think... I think I want to purposefully include some Videoed Gamery into this. It'll be fun, I promise.

Recently, I read Gno Mann's premiere blog post, a response to a currently 5 year old blog post by Luke Gearing on the topic of Experience Points and Incentives in Game design. I think both are worth a read. Gearing's post has been bandied about as something of a divine text, and Gno's belated response pokes a ton of holes in it. I'm not about to throw my hat into the ring between them, but reading both blogs gave me a great number of thoughts about traditional leveling up systems and how they can be used in ways to manipulate the player (non-derogatory) and manipulate the player (derogatory.)

Cairn's only systematic method of advancement is in its Scars table; when a PC is knocked down to exactly 0 hit points, their body is marred by the experience, giving them a boost to their HP, and leaving them with a visual reminder of the time they got said HP boost. This is actually REALLY great, but doesn't fit the vibe I want with this Sanic game. All other advancement in Cairn is diegetic; finding new weapons and armor, kitting yourself out with Relics you've collected on your adventures, and simply surviving with the gold needed to sleep at an inn are all the game as written is concerned about.

My first swing at an alternative is a system I'm calling "SCORE." Similar to the Arcade Classics of the 80's, Score is a running tally of all the cool shit you've done, with the goal being to reach the end of the level with as much of it as possible. Unlike vintage videoed games, (and yes, they're considered VINTAGE now. Late 90's LEGO are Vintage. Hell, Mid-2000's LEGO are Vintage. I hate it.), Score is not a measure of skill, but a reward for completing a Task listed on a long list of possible Achievements. Deciding which Achievement to accept at the end of any given session or adventure would work great as a cool-down activity, I think. Everyone pulls up the list, compares it to the adventure they JUST played, and decide which on to mark off. Simple Achievements, such as "Start a Fight and Win," would be worth a small amount of Score, but be able to be taken multiple times. Eventually, the small fry 'Chieves will dry up, requiring Players to seriously consider some longer term goals to gain more of the resource.

And what would this resource do, you ask? Again, similar to the Achievements, small bonuses would cost smaller amounts of Score to purchase, packages of 100 Rings, for example, could be bought multiple times for a small amount of it. Bonuses to a Stat, a new Title or Feat, high-end game loot like vehicles and buildings, I don't know exactly what would be on there. The key would be making the Achievements be accessible without making them the main focus of the game. Diegetic growth is STILL the focus here- if a PC has already consumed enough Achievements that none of the simple ones are available anymore, they shouldn't feel as though their character did nothing worthwhile or didn't grow while they worked towards a bigger goal.

Until Next Time,

-Farmer Gadda

The SANIC Hack - Part 1 - Introduction

2024-04-10T00:00:00Z

Cover A for IDW's "Sonic the Hedgehog 2019 Annual", by Yuji Uekawa

~~Prev Post~~ / Next Post

Howdy, Farmhands.

As I am wont to do, I have decided to start Another TTRPG project. It's really just the 20th restart of my eternally unfinished heartbreaker, which started out as a Lasers & Feelings Hack with Opinions and hasn't ended up as anything after, like, 3 years. Surely this will be the time I make it stick haha. You're free to completely ignore these posts if you like, I won't blame you.

Anyway.

The fact of the matter is that I wish to put a Sanic in Cairn, and none of you have any authority nor power to stop me. But before I do, a couple of points must be made. Firstly, what do I think a Cairn is? And secondly, what the fuck is a Sanic?

Part 1: Cairn?

If you've already read Cairn you can skip this.

Cairn is a TTRPG, written by Yochai Gal. It's an "Adventure Game," with a narrow focus on producing Old-School fantasy experiences with snappy combat, a limited inventory, and little else. It's basically a freshly shaved Into the Odd. Maybe. I haven't actually read Into the Odd. From an evolutionary standpoint, I'm led to understand Cairn is like Mausritter, scaled back even further, but with the flavor and genre expectations of someone playing Knave. I would need to actually read more than one of the aforementioned titles to say for sure, though.

(It's probably more than a little bit of a misnomer to state I'm hacking Cairn specifically; it's just my first dip into this school of design. Maybe "Putting a Sanic in an Odd-like" would be a more accurate blog title? Eh.)

Per Cairn's own words, the design focus is on collecting and maintaining Equipment over Class abilities, a Neutral GM that hands out information like candy so Players can make informed choices, the consequences of which could very easily lead to death, but never in a way that feels unfair. The mechanical choices that most enamor this game to me is how it handles rolling dice, HP, and Inventory management.

Similar to Into the Odd, and other games it's inspired, all dice are rolled in REACTION to something in the fiction. Players can declare their characters do anything, really, and so long as that action has no obvious Risk to it's going awry, the game isn't interested in withholding permission from them. All rolls are effectively Saves from a known, possible negative outcome, instead of a game of Mother, May I with the dice.

HP, not content to let Stats be the only thing blowing my mind, is also subverted from what I expected. Instead of a general measure of how much more meat a character can lose before they kick the bucket, HP or "Hit Protection", is instead more of a timer. Attacks auto-hit in Cairn, with Damage subtracting from a character's Hit Protection as they get closer and closer to the hit that sends them down. Once an attack lowers HP to Zero, any remaining damage is absorbed by the Character's Strength Stat, triggering an immediate Save using the new Stat number. A failed save means they're down. This, coupled with the fact that HP can be restored with a short rest, but changes to the Strength Stat requires longer recuperation, creates an interesting scenario where Characters are quickly able to continue on, but still suffer lasting effects of losing a fight, should they survive it in the first place.

Lastly, I'll talk about the Inventory system, which is just. Neat. Who came up with this first, ItO or Mausritter? PCs have 10 slots, with most items fitting in a single Slot unless labeled as "Bulky," which takes up 2. Already, the concern of balancing keeping weapons and armor on your person while still having space for cool stuff you find in dungeons is apparent, but Fatigue, a debuff that can be acquired from lack of food and sleep, backlash from magic, or just as punishment for bad decisions during the adventure, takes up a slot of your inventory. This effectively removes an entire inventory slot from play until the fatigue can be cleared. Get fatigue while all your slots are full? You have to drop something. Carrying more objects than you have slots? Your HP is automatically considered to be an 0, with any harm done to you going directly into Strength.

To summarize a bit, Cairn is a very tight, OSR inspired ruleset that cuts away a lot of the fat of other games in it's genre, while subverting some key expectations in service of it's snappy gameplay. Now, we must ask-

Part 2: What is a SANIC?

Sonic the Hedgehog is a video game mascot produced by SEGA in the early 90's. Due to being designed to sell products, his scruples and identifying traits have shifted drastically from era to era, with fans having wildly different interpretations of the character even within the same close-knit group of friends. The broad strokes, at least the ones relevant to this blog post, is that he is an acrobatic cartoon character that travels to colorful and magical locations, getting into scuffles with antagonistic individuals not out of a sense of public service, but because he's in the right place at the right time to do so. Freedom, Movement, and Speed are key to what Sonic is as a character.

A SANIC, by comparison, is a character that must exist in the same time and place as Sonic himself. As a video game mascot, Sonic exists in a world tailor made to take his defining traits and display them in an appealing fashion. The loops, tunnels, floating platforms and other nonsense geography only really works when you travel through them AS Sonic. His move set is ideal for zipping through the locations he travels to, not because those locations make sense, but because his video game must be fun to play. This causes some logistic issues when taking any character who wouldn't normally be able to do the things Sonic can and placing them into those scenarios. Even if we don't see any houses, someone must have considered a vacation home in Green Hills, after all. Sega has famously solved this issue for their own purposes by creating an increasing number of supernatural or exaggerated abilities and giving them to the characters Sonic interacts with-Flight, Super Strength, Wall-Climbing and so on. At this point, a Sanic is any magical Furry character with noodly enough arms and large enough feet; and I say that as a Positive. By introducing unique constraints from more Traditional Furry OC design mentalities, SANICS gain a unique flavor all their own, even in scenarios where Sonic himself isn't involved in the character's story.

By this metric, I'd probably also consider Mario OCs a Sanic, but I'll fire that gun into a loaded theater some other blog.

Part 3: Why Tho?

Again, The fact of the matter is that I wish to put a Sanic in Cairn. You don't need to understand me and my choices, nor do you need to respect them. This is the path I've chosen to follow; taking my most recent shiny toy and holding it next to my longest hyperfixation that they may kiss.

Something that's enamored me to the description of Adventure Games that Ben posited in the blog post wherein it was Coined is line two - "It implies strangeness, travel, the unexpected, and the confusing." Not that other game styles can't have that, rather, that this desire to go places and see things in a world that's full of weird shit, coupled with the purposefully snappy dice resolution, refilling HP, and inventory management, immediately makes me think this would be the ideal place to start on a SANIC game. Freedom, Movement, and Speed. No asking permission to Do, just chances to fail if you push the risk too far. This is the comparison that has sparked this project. God help me.

Here is where I'm going to have to do some work. First, because the rules I'm starting from are so tight and bare-boned (/pos), any change I make will have massive rippling effects throughout. I can't just increase Armor without drastically changing how combat feels, for example. Tweaks must be made, though, as the threat of character death is something I want to slightly tone down. Not only that, but in a game with no existing advancement mechanics (except the Scars table, which doesn't feel quite right for the vibe I'm trying to emulate), how do I get a player from page 1 to a fully realized magic furry OC before the session starts?

The short of it is, I don't fucking know. Thats why I'm blogging about it.

Until next time,

Farmer Gadda

Play Report, The Ballad of Barracuda Rock

2024-04-09T00:00:00Z

This is Seadramon from Digimon, and has
nothing to do with anything else in this blogpost.

Howdy, Farmhands.

Almost one year ago, I ran a session of a ttrpg, using homebrew rules I was working on for my eternally unfinished fantasy heartbreaker. The session went SO WELL, that I almost immediately put the experience to paper in the form of a twitter thread. The story that unfolded at my table (granted it was over discord but whatever) was such a fun one, that I've decided to repost it here for better documenting.

Step 0: Setup

"Yo-Ho" is a sea-faring adventure game I ran for 3 players, an excuse to playtest my frequently renamed TTRPG which is just a Lasers & Feelings hack that got uppity. Don't worry about it.

Player A is playing their take on Haku from Spirited Away, a Dragon spirit that collects favors (and people?) instead of treasure. The Role they chose includes an inventory item called "A piece of Loot from their last haul." A decided that said loot should in fact be their ship, carved into the Visage of a dragon, and with a mind of its own. Wind Waker vibes but less chatty. The silver bangle around Haku's wrist acted as a connection point between him and their ship, also in the shape of a dragon. That's neat. I've played with and run for A before, so I know front loading cool shit is the best way to keep them engaged- they never try to abuse the extra power and this isn't a game where balance is an issue so sure, I'm down. Sentient ship and big ass dragon form, ok.

Player B brought over their self-insert OC from another project that didn't go anywhere, but converted to fit the loose setting. In this game, they're a Rubberwho, a bouncy, springy, stretchy lifeform made out of rubber. Think Pacman if he ate the Gum-Gum fruit. Astro, as B renamed them, is a shit-talking Ring fighter who has it out for "The Man." (Who the man is has been intentionally left vague by B for maximum comedic usage) and they're just here to fight authority wherever they find it. Due to availability, B didn't get to do much this session, but they've confirmed they're happy with this first adventure and will develop Astro further with future sessions so that's good.

Player C brought over their Sonic OC, Slate, an Echidna trying to find their place in the world with little to no idea of where to look for clues to their lost culture. This is where it gets interesting, because C is young and inexperienced as a ttrpg player. They're not sure what to expect and I don't yet know how to cater to their playstyle. I love new players so much.

Step 1: Get to Barracuda Rock

All 3 became crew in the backstory, allowing us to jump into the adventure proper right away. The trio were delivering construction materials at the request of the Mayor of Namov ("Name-Of") Island (because I couldn't come up with one on the fly you see), a request with few details and a lot of rush implied. Bit shifty, but Haku feels they can wheedle a stronger favor out of the Mayor if his negligence makes the trip difficult. A horde of flying fish bother Slate as he attempts to swab the poop deck, but mostly the trip is smooth sailing. At least until they reach the titular Barracuda Rock.

The name is a smidge of a misnomer, as it's technically a whole island surrounding a massive natural rock that looks vaguely like a Barracuda. Think Pride Rock but fishier. The flying fish disappear all of a sudden, which is probably fine. Nothing to see here.

(Unbeknownst to the PCs, but conveyed to the players, somethibg much larger has begun to follow the ship from under the waves. I love doing this- giving the players scenes like in a film that shares hints of where the adventure is going to go, and letting them play out being blissfully unaware until the inevitable reveal)

The island has three avenues of approach; sand bars to the south-east, rocky spikes to the north, and to the west, directly in line with the "face" of Barracuda Rock, an inlet that looks to be the safest. The crew choose the path of least resistance and sail for the inlet. Before entering the waters, Haku, a river spirit himself, attempts to communicate with the river, should it have an identity to talk to. It's only fair to greet it before sailing on in. What he gets in response is a burst of anger which is the only warning before a massive sea serpent, also with the head of a Barracuda, rises from the water and defensively roars at the crew. Boss battle music plays, and the stage is set for the crew to fight this clear threat.

Except they don't, actually, the crew says "well I guess that's his inlet, sorry sir we'll be on our way" and they keep sailing around the island looking for another landing point. Barry the Barracudra follows, threateningly, but does nothing else. Seems landing in that inlet specifically is his no-go and the crew choose to respect it. Slate blows Barry a kiss which works because dice, and the Barracudra disappears beneath the waves. For now.

Step 2: Make a Plan

What followed was about 30 minutes of the players repeating their options, asking questions, and revealing how little Gadda actually knows about sailing. Player B reveals themselves to have been a Navy Brat which means I SHOULD HAVE STUDIED MORE. Conveniently, the adventure specifically required that night to be the night of the full moon, and after a TED talk about how the Tides work, the plan was set. Once the tide was high, the ship would make a run for it over the south-east portion of the island and hopefully make it to the beach before Barry. And they just do it. I drew it out with some suspense because they didn't know where the sea serpent was but they literally just make landfall lmao. Astro gets pingponged around the ship from the impact but that's about it.

As the full moon on the sky travels closer and closer to its highest point, the crew follow a glimmer of light in the forest to search for the inhabitants they're meant to deliver to. This is where some player side issues came in, as players were pulled away, I had to give my wife a kiss, you know how it is, but haltingly, the crew find a clearing with the cinders of a bonfire in the center. Slate uses his fire powers (he has those I forgot to mention) to try and coax it back to life, just because it's helpful and he can. (Feeling the urge to help others for no immediate gain will be a recurring trend for this character apparently. We'll come back to that.)

The additional light allows Captain Haku to notice glimmers of reflected light along the branches of the trees surrounding the clearing, guiding his attention up to the tree houses above, covered in reflective material with windows barred. And the full moon reaching its highest. Luckily he calls Slate back outside the clearing, just in time for the light of the Moon to be reflected by these thousands of carefully angled shards, which combine the moonlight into a fucking laser that rips through the clearing, reigniting the communal bonfire in a massive burst of flame. The crew, eyebrows narrowly avoiding being singed, watch as the moon moves on, ending the light show and leaving a healthy bonfire in its wake. The doors of the tree houses fling open with cheers as the villagers scream "HAPPY FULL MOON!" They've arrived in time for a festival!

Step 3: Meet the Locals

With other people to talk to, the crew spend some time on diplomacy and information gathering, learning everything I set out for them to learn in pretty much one go lmao. The Elder tells the story. Barry the Barracudra is normally a docile creature, acting as a protector of the Island and it's inhabitants. However, having fallen in love with the titular Barracuda Rock, he becomes increasingly defensive leading up to the Full Moon. The villagers Harvest and trade the crystalline material that naturally forms within the Rock for supplies they can't create themselves, and shipments are MEANT to be made when Barry is calm. The Mayor threw our crew under the bus to meet an agreed deadline.

Haku will remember this.

The festivities aren't done yet, as the villagers invite the crew to come watch the grand finale they call "The Lighting of The Fish." The villagers lead to the crew to a large viewing platform in a tree to the southwest, giving them a full view of the entire Barracuda Rock in its entirety, but also letting them see Barry periscopin out of that inlet he get upset about earlier, facing the rock.

(We named her Roxanne, btw.)

As the full moon moved into another specific angle, it's light shone down into the mouth of Roxanne, reflecting off the countless crystal growths inside and creating something magical. The rippling light pouring out of this massive structure created an optical illusion, bringing the static rock to a semblance of life. Roxanne's light made her appear to swim in place, and both the villagers and Barry cheered to see her again. Slate tried asking questions about how it worked, to which the Elder replied with the thesis of the adventure;

"This world is filled with wonders that defy explanation. Sometimes, you simply have to let the magic take you where it will."

Player C digested this, then asked, "Hey DM, can I... try something?"

Step 4: Try Something

I was called away temporarily (wife smooches) during which time the players capital C Conspired. Player C wanted Slate to get down to the base of Roxanne, which Player B had Astro help by distracting the Elder and other villagers. Once there, he said a few kind words to Roxanne, before letting the emotions of the star crossed lovers carry him into song.

At which point Player C PULLED OUT A UKELELE AND AD-LIBBED A LOVE BALLAD ABOUT BARRY AND ROXANNE. IM STILL STUNNED. Slate, ever the romantic, could not do Nothing when faced with this scenario, and poured his heart into helping however he could. Player A, and thus, Haku, could not let this be the end. Despite this being session 1, and having accomplished none of the cool ideas floated with the concept, Player A willingly suggested sacrificing the bangle that gave their ship sentience, to allow Roxanne to come to life. And that's what they did.

Haku raised his wrist and set the bangle free, the silver dragon flying through the air to latch onto Barry's tail. With a surge of magic, Roxanne's illusory form of light leapt off the rock and dove into the sea, and the pair swam away together.

Just. Wow.

The session concluded with basic wrap-up, the next morning. Their delivery unloaded and their ship just a smidge less magical, the crew retook their places as they sailed back for Namov Island to chew out the Mayor. Back to scrubbing the deck, Slate was once again bullied by a flying fish. The swarm once again followed their ship as it sailed away, joined this time by the joyous pair of Barry and Roxanne, who leaped over the ship in a majestic arc as a thank you and goodbye.

Final Step: Wrap-up

The intention with the adventure as I set it up was to establish some core concepts about the setting and tone of the game.

There's danger in the water (Barry)
Authority isn't to be trusted (The Mayor)
The islands are filled with wonder and magic (Roxanne)

But somehow, the players took my introductory adventure to a completely new level, finding meaning in it on their own and following the strands that intrigued them in a way I didn't expect for a first session, and especially not from a brand new ttrpg player.

And that's the Ballad of Barracuda Rock.

Until next time,

Farmer Gadda

Farmer Gadda's Famous Buttercream

2024-02-16T00:00:00Z

Cupcakes that I definitely didn't make, but I could have if I wanted to - Pixabay

Howdy, Farmhands.

I have had to explain to literally everyone who has ever eaten my cakes that no, they don't hate buttercream, they've just only eaten the store brand "frosting" that is 90% hydrogenated oil. Don't make me repeat myself for the nth time.

Please just consider the following;

Ingredients

2 Sticks Unsalted Butter, Softened at Room Temperature (discerning tongues can add a dash of salt to taste if you're that picky)

1 tsp Vanilla Extract

2 Tbsp Milk (Almond works fine)

4 cups Unsifted Powdered Sugar (Once measured, you can sift if you prefer)

Recipe

Place both sticks Butter in a large bowl, beat until creamy
Add 1 Tsp Vanilla and 1 Tbsp Milk, beat again
Add Powdered Sugar, half a cup at a time. Combine completely before adding another cup. Use all 4 cups of Powdered Sugar. Do not add more than a half cup before you turn on the mixer. Trust me on this.
If at any point the mixture becomes too thick to mix, add the remaining Tbsp Milk to moisten the mixture, then continue adding the Powdered Sugar.

For chocolate, replace 1/4th cup Powdered Sugar with 1/4th cup Cocoa Powder, mixing the dry ingredients together fully before adding them as in steps 3 and 4.

Replace the Vanilla Extract for the relevant flavored Extract when making Fruit Flavored frosting.

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

The Art of Fucking Up Your Branding

2024-02-13T00:00:00Z

that's not my url anymore

Howdy, Farmhands.

I was supposed to be a Vtuber.

Once upon a time, I would log onto social media with a single goal in mind. I had a Brand, you see. I had an Image. I had this concept lodged into my brain that the only person who would be able to successfully promote the Idea Of Farmer Gadda in a marketable and appealing way would be Me. This was back in the early days of Vtubing, the year 2020, when all the bells and whistles of Japan's Idol Culture were being lifted and repeated wholesale with no critical analysis of whether that mentality was at all healthy for the entertainers trapped in its systems. I was just a lone Farmer with a dream, and a step-by-step plan to make those dreams come true.

No Stories about my personal life. (even though I'd been a 'Fleshtuber' for two years, with a ton of personal information shared during those early baking streams)
No Content outside my limited range of acceptable tones. (Farming Games were only fun for so long, and I was too much of a sonic autist to not immediately desire the hog)
And no matter how much I believed in something and held it dear, absolutely No Hot Takes.

This lasted about as long as you're imagining, by which I mean, not terribly long at all. Unlike ACTUAL Idols, I did not have a team of PR specialists and legal contracts to keep me from acting outside the parameters that would ensure only the best and consistent activity of my mind was blasted into the eyeballs of my prospective audience. No matter how strong I thought I was, I was just a man. A weak, fallible, opinionated little man. I was doomed to failure, really.

From the minute I read the phrase, 'System Matters', I became embroiled in the Discourse of the day with a religious fervor. I had thoughts! I had distastes! I had OPINIONS. So many opinions! I had to start using third party software to contain my opinions, limit posting them to once daily to make sure my ACTUAL branded posts and messages got the air needed to be seen! My existing audience was confused and frightened, wondering where their sweet and loveable cake baking blorbo had gone, replaced by this passionate acolyte of the church of Math Rocks, evangelizing on the merits of Imaginary Elf Games. To anyone just finding me, primarily through said evangelizing, it was nothing more than a funny oddity that the Good-Take-Haver they'd found on Twitter also moonlit as a cartoon farmer-man who played a bit too much Minecraft in his spare time. And once I became privy to that portion of my followers having that opinion of me, I knew I'd fucked up. Farmer Gadda wasn't a brand associated with having a good time with cowbells and plants anymore. It was still that, but with something louder and utterly unrelated, inextricably tied into it's core identity.

The problem with first impressions is that you only really get them once. Even if I had then and there cut down on TTRPG Poasting, reverted to the squeaky clean marketable image I'd arrived intending to push, the Poastings had been Poasted. I bemoaned this for a minute before something really weird started happening.

As it turns out, Human beings are messy and multi-faceted. We're not MEANT to have our personalities put into little boxes to be experienced piecemeal. The Sonic Autist in me railing against the constraints of only making Farmy-Cottage Core experiences for my viewers? The passionate flames of Righteousness that burned in my soul whenever someone was wrong on the internet? Those were just as much a part of me as the positive facets I had tried to isolate and exaggerate as part of the Farmer Gadda Caricature. It wasn't for everyone, sure, but it was Me. And people somehow liked Me, warts and all. Even existing followers who didn't care one lick about Dice Math followed along. Some even took to the new style of Poasts with interest of their own, turning my personal journey into unmarketability into a GROUP journey into TTRPG Brainrot. Along the way my audience went from Just Minecraft Enjoyers and Just Cake Lovers to both of those things but also Sonic Fans, and Game Designers, fellow Vtubers and yes, Math Rock Opinion Havers.

The Art to Fucking Up Your Branding is an ART, not a Science. There isn't a step by step process to replicate doing so smoothly, because the only step is to Be Messy. Be Human. Be everything of yourself at once, screaming your passions and desires into the void and listening to the people who heard you and decided to scream back.

I was supposed to be a Vtuber. But I think I'm much happier being an Experience.

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

Sporpsball

2024-02-09T00:00:00Z

A Child Playing Sportsball, Probably. Idk I'm not his mom. - Pixabay

Howdy, Farmhands.

Early 2021 was probably the most productive time for me as a Game Designer. Everything was new and shiny, and I hadn't yet learned what Not To Do in the spaces I was discovering for people interested in my newfound hobby. This meant that I was willing and able to yeet myself bodily into whatever struck my fancy, without the lived experience to understand the possibility of sending myself off a cliff.

It was during this time period that I came up with the rules for Sporpsball.

Heavily inspired by a moment in the og Interstitial: Our Hearts Entertwined Podcast campaign wherein a player used the fuckery that is the English Language to re-interpret the wording of a PBTA Move, I wanted a system agnostic experience where fucking with the language in the rules was The Point, and the following is what I came up with.

SPORPSBALL, a Supplement for Whatever Game You're Playing. Yes, even That One.

Every person at the table gets to write down a single sentence describing what they remember of an existing Sports game. The GM has to include a specific way to score in theirs. These sentences are collectively referred to as "The Rules."
A game of Sporpsball includes a number of additional participants on the field equal to the number of Player Characters participating in the Sport. If it's a team game, they're on the Other Team. There is also always a Large Audience cheering them teams on.
Unless explicitly prohibited by The Rules of Sporpsball, any stats, skills, feats, or other game mechanics the Player Characters normally have access to may be used to attempt to win the game.
Whenever a Player rolls the highest possible face value of a die, no matter what the roll was for in mechanics or fiction, they may adjust one of The Rules in one of the ways listed below. These adjustments must not result in a Rule being an incomplete sentence.
- Replace 1 Letter of a word in the Rule
- Add a word to the Rule
- Swap the placement of two words within the Rule
- Invert one word to a word of it's Opposite meaning
Should any one of The Rules ever have every word in it's sentence changed completely from it's initial form, that rule is sealed and cannot be altered further. The Player who created the rule must then create an additional rule.
Any Character who breaks one the rules, willingly or not, recieves a Foul. 3 Fouls, and they're ejected from the game.
At no point should ANY rule imply, infer, or otherwise suggest the inclusion or exclusion of a dog. There shall never be any rule that determines whether or not a Dog should be allowed to play Sporpsball. Attempting to do so will result in immediate forfeiture of the Sporp by the offending Player or Team.

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

I made a Blog

2024-02-06T00:00:00Z

You, Presumably after reading my Thinks

Howdy, Farmhands.

My name is Gadda. I'm a man who wears a bunch of different hats depending on the hour, but the roles you may or may not be familiar with are as follows: He/They, Vtuber, TTRPG Designer, Cake Decorator, Chicken Tender, Wife Guy. And this here is my blog, in which I intend to POAST about these things.

I don't consider myself to be any sort of expert on any subject; frankly, I'm too frequently wrong to lie to myself about that. But I do have the unfortunate habit of regurgitating the things I Think I Know with the confidence of a man who's won awards for his opinions, which leads to people assuming I'm an expert. I would like to apologize in advance for that.

I'm still getting the hang of this platform, as well as learning the process of turning my shorter form thoughts and too-long ramblings into a more readable form. You can get updates via email somehow. Maybe get an RSS Feed and slap my url into it. (Google it, they're great actually.) And who knows, maybe some nugget of wisdom will be worth something to you.

Until Next Time,

Farmer Gadda

Farmer Gadda's TTRPG Hayloft

Sonic SATAMdaption - Ep. PILOT & 1

THE PREAMBLE

THE ACTUAL BLOGPOST -

S1 EP13: HEADS OR TAILS

S1 EP1: SONIC BOOM

THE DIGESTION

FINALLY, THE POINT

What's Gadda Up To? - Spring 2026

Gadda's 2025 (A Year In Review)

The Smash Bros Mansion

Your Own Worst Enemy

I Like Trains

Themes - Quicker Game Prep for The Sanic Hack

Gadda's Blog Crash Course - What is the OSR (And Why Do I Care?)

"What is the OSR?"

"So... again, What is the OSR???"

"...Okay then, What is the OSR to YOU???"

Reasons to Have a Hoedown

Reasons to Throw a Hoedown

Costumes and Accessories - Inventory Management Musings for The Sanic Hack

Obligatory Appendix N Post

Sonic Adventure (Sega Dreamcast, 1998/1999)

Digimon Adventure (Toei Animation, 1999)

Sandland (Akira Toriyama, 2000)

Super Sentai Series (Toei, 1975-Present)

Garfield (Jim Davis, 1977-Present)

But wait, there's more!

Sowing Seeds - A Minigame for Planting

A Minigame for Planting

We're Having A Heatwave!

Holes-Posting - I Find An Excuse to Talk About Digimon World 3

Can't Miss Merchant Stalls

Hey Folks! - An Appreciation of R. R. Slugger

Does Setting Matter?

1. No.

2. But Actually, Yes.

3. -Well, Now That I Think Of It, Only Maybe?

4. So, No. lol

Things On My Grocery List

Kludgebuckets - Customizable Vehicles for the Sanic Hack

Jaw-Break Shore

Jaw-Break Shore (0706)

A Hex for Prismatic Wasteland's Merry Hexmas Blog Bandwagon

Adjacent Hexes

Encounters

Locations

Sugar Geode "Mine"

Dream Circus

Ways to Reach the Circus

How Tricked Out Is this Ride?

Of Dice and Men - Opinions about Rolling in OSR Games

Making Do - I Played a Solo Game At Work

Sonic The Hedgehog - Where Do We Go From Here?

SONIC 1: The Good, The Bad, and the Hedgehog

SONIC 2: Finally, some Good Fucking Food

KNUCKLES MINI-SERIES: He's Jewish Now

SONIC 3: That Damned Fourth Chaos Emerald

SONIC 3 INTERMISSION: WHO IS SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG?

END SONIC 3 INTERMISSION

SHADOW MINISERIES: WITNESS THE POWER OF THE ULTIMATE LIFE FORM

Final Thoughts: What the hell did I just read?

Solo-ish; An Experiment

How to be your own GM

Dice Math

Ol' Gadda's Pirate Game

Ol' Gadda's Pirate Game

Basic Rules:

Inventory Rules:

Technique Rules:

Wealth Rules:

Combat Rules:

Things to Know About Combat:

What Happens after reaching 0 HP:

Timekeeping Rules:

Overland Travel Rules:

Sailing Rules:

Scaling Rules:

Sherbert Forest Clearing

A. Boasting

A Hex for Prismatic Wasteland's
Merry Hexmas Blog Bandwagon

▸A Colosseum, built of Sandstone
▸A dusty racetrack in its center
▸A wooden stall set up by the entry

THE BABIDRA-TTENDANT
▸Middle aged Geon Salesman
▪Handles Entry Fees for the DracoRaces
▪Offers DracoSnacks for 10 Gems Each
▪Has a Babidra Egg that is about to hatch